I Would Like Your Advice on a Religious Problem

[2quilt]

I am happy to be Atheist, free from all the "My deity is better than your deity" and "We are going to heaven, but you all are not" crapola. My friend Gail knows this, and she has known me well, for 4 years. Gail is Christian, and she really wants me to be Christian. I would never try to change her religious beliefs, or anyone else's.
Gail, send me emails about God all the time. They are emails with sticky sweet messages or something about the top ten life rules or some made-up story about how someone's life was changed by prayer. She sends these emails to everyone on her address book, not just to me. Most of the time the email demands that the recipient reply to her if they consider her a friend.
I have asked her twice to seriously stop sending me these emails because I do not believe in God, I feel pressured by these emails to believe the way she does, and I think that if she respected me the way I respect her, that she would not send me offensive emails. I never once have sent her any emails promoting Atheism or trashing Christianity, although I could...instead I have taken the advice of my T and told Gail that if she values my friendship, that she will stop trying to change my religious beliefs.

Her response is, " I forgot again, just delete them."
Again and again.

What should I do? Should I start sending her emails about the flaws of Christianity and how she is foolish to believe in a myth that promotes fear? I know that choice is not going to win the popular vote.
How many times do I have to sit her down and explain that her emails really bother me? Does her continuance mean that she does not value my friendship? I don't think she is taking me seriously. It's kind of hard for me to use positive reinforcement in this case. I could always add a signature line to all my emails to everyone stating, "Thank you for keeping your religion to yourself!" but see, I enjoy talking about religious differences, world views,and such. I just don't want to be the target of an evangelist or prothelitizer. (say that with crackers in your mouth.)
Gail tells me she prays for me, which is fine. She can do that if she wants; I would never oppress her beliefs. I just want to be myself.

 

[Kunoichi]

As a Christian, I understand your friends well-intended fervor. HOWEVER, I don't believe in shoving anything down anyone's throat. And while I don't believe in "dimming" down scripture or being politically correct in terms of telling people about christian faith, if its making your more against Christianity just for the aspect that you find these emails annoying, then sending them is going against what I think she intends anyways.

If explaining to her that while you are open to discussion about faith (whether you agree with it or not) does not seem to deter these emails. Then I would maybe call her or talk with her and explain to her that while you understand she wants you to believe, what she is doing is having the opposite effect on you. You feel you are being pressured versus loved and you would like her to stop.

If that still doesn't work, ask her why she isn't respecting your request (its says in the Bible to both not dim down the Truth AT THE SAME TIME says that if you are being persecuted due to being annoying (this is very summed up lol and I don't remember exact verse) then really it isn't bring glory to God anyways). It comes down to respecting you, not just respecting your beliefs, and your wishes as a friend.

I hope this helps. :)

I am not trying to say what I think she is doing is "wrong" but that she needs to honor your request even if she doesn't like it. (My friend is pagan now atheist and I have known him for many years. We also talk about our differences and while I really really want him to believe like i do, i respect his decision and I still pray for him as well so I can understand both sides a bit I think :) )

If it sounded "preachy" then i'm sorry ^_^ Just trying to get my thoughts out and that can be quite rambly lol

 

[2quilt]

Yes, I agree that respect is the thing I wish Gail and I had in common. She is a wonderful person and we have a great time together, but this one topic is an impass for us. She can't discuss our religious difs--she gets angry and walks off, even when I just explain my beliefs in a way carefully trying not to be nasty or insulting. It's her way or the highway...to hell (which I don't believe in either).

 

[Mina]

Before I reply, I have one question. Do you trade legitimate emails with Gail? Or is it all receiving forwards from her, and any real 'correspondence' is done over the phone or in person?

 

[OhSoLittleMouse]

She sounds a little on the annoying side - but - it all depends on how much you value and want her friendship.

You always have the power to hit delete without even opening them.

Sometimes you gotta overlook some annoying traits. If it were me, I wouldn't start a religious debate/fight over it. It's not worth it.

If the friendship doesn't mean anything you can always block her on your email.

Hope this helps some.

 

[Auburngirl]

It may be that she keeps forgetting because she has a "friends list" that she sends forwarded emails to. I hate getting forwards in general because I deal with such a high volume of email. Maybe if you said please no forwards at all, please remove me from your list, or remove me from your address book. I'd love to hear from you - but only you nothing forwarded.

 

[Kunoichi]

Good suggestions on all the above too ^_^

 

[midi]

I get all kinds of forwards from a couple of my friends - I simply delete delete delete until they are all gone. To tell them that it is disrespectful to spam a friend isn't something they'd even begin to acknowledge, because they are caught up in it and see it as harmless. Throwing the religion aspect into it makes it even worse.

Go with your gut instinct - is she really a friend to you that you'd miss if you said goodbye? Many people can't even begin to see other perspectives because they don't know how. Is she trying to control you or is she unintentionally getting your back hairs up?

 

[Mercy]

I think respect is essential to true friendship. It entails trust that each person has sovereign rights to their own way in the world. Prosthelitizing has no place there.

Maybe, just delete her e-mails and enjoy her company as friend who needs better boundaries. If this is hurting or harming you, then I guess I might reevaluate whether the friendship balances out the pain and disrespect.

 

[Deleted member 541]

2quilt,

I am hearing that she really isn't respecting your boundaries at all. You have made it quite clear that you don't like the emails and have spoken to her about it. She also refuses to discuss religion without getting pissed off and walking away...

I guess what I see is....How much are you willing to allow to keep the friendship, or how much are you willing to ignore to keep the friendship????? Because it's quite apparent to me that she is unwilling to abide by your boundaries, so it's now up to you as to what you are willing to put up with.....

Your choice....

 

[Grama-Herc]

I don't know about your email service, but mine gives me to option to block emails with specific words titiles, etc. In fact, I can get very specific with my choices. I can even direct the email immediately to the trash and never have to mess with it.

IMHO, it boils down to how much you value the friendship and what you are will to do to keep it since your friend, for whatever reason, CHOOSES to ignore your feelings.

So check out your email for the kind of filters you can set up. Just my suggestion, but I did it and it WORKS

 

[Noone.]

Hello, well I'm not an atheist I just don't care about any of that sxxt. I too have a very good friend who is a big time christian, he doesn't even believe in dinosaur bones, go figure, but when he starts with the religion I start talking about aliens if nothing else it makes me laugh.:rofl: