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If people are laughing, they are laughing at me...

I've decided there is a lot of truth in the idea that Others' opinions of me are none of my dam*ed business. It's a reflection of whatever is on the tv screen of their minds at a given point in time and is not an accurate statement about me.

Still, I get a distinct feeling that some laughter, that once was directed at me, is because I became what they told me I was. I believed the lies. I bought 'em hook, line, and sinker. I'm pretty sure of it. Sick bastages. (whatever that means). lol

At least that is how I perceived it. I may have flashbacks but I don't have "non-self-induced hallucinations." LOL like that last word??? hahahahaha I'm such a stinker. 👽👽👽

So I fell prey to evil-doing and now I am supposed to be ashamed too? Nuh uh!!! Not gonna happen, been there, and done that. I was innocent. Move along, this show is over. To know me is to love me.

It doesn't bother me as it once did, sometimes they are laughing at me and other times they are not. When they do laugh it is my choice about how I will respond that is most important so I have schooled myself to take a step back, take a deep breath, and regroup my thoughts. When it comes down to others laughing at me, it really is not any of my business, they do not know me.
 
Still, I get a distinct feeling that some laughter, that once was directed at me, is because I became what they told me I was. I believed the lies. I bought 'em hook, line, and sinker. I'm pretty sure of it. Sick bastages. (whatever that means). lol
you didn't buy it.
You never had a choice to buy or not.
You were a tormented and tortured child who was brainwashed into believing horrible things about yourself - and those who were doing it to you were probably laughing at you as they watched you struggle.

But that is because they are horrible people
Not because you had done something to be laughed at.
Because they were using you to set up situations where they could laugh at someone else's expense

And that is a huge, huge difference 😔
 
when people are laughing I always feel as if they must be laughing at me.
Right?!?

Ditto if people are angry, or are talking about someone “everyone” knows.

For me? It’s a byproduct of growing up in countries where I didn’t speak the language.

…COMBINED WITH…

a very trauma fueled = Overhearing Ofher Peoples Plans = life.

It just keeps shit simple, that if IDFK what’s going on? To assume it’s about me.

Yep. Arrogant as f*ck.

But? Still useful. So I’ll take it.

The quirkiest side effect of which? When I notice someone -in the background- bristling? I usually invite them over and recap what we were talking about, with them. And have made some awesome aquaintences / interactions, in the process. But it drives my kid nuts. Especially as he HATES info being repeated. (Usually….)Or not. (Inviting over & recapping) Just because I know it annoys my kid, and I care about him faaaaar more than random people.
 
Do ya ever get paranoid and think people are laughing at you? And if they are laughing at you, does it hurt to be laughed at? Where did this negative belief originate? How do you beat this core belief? Anybody?

1 Of course I did and sometimes I still do.
2Yes, it would hurt me.
3For me it was bullying, they literally laughted at me so...
4 I think that I'm not a a little helpless girl anymore, and they can't hurt me just by laughting at me, and also, I don,'t need to be liked by them, it so inmature to do that.

I think that it's because of a lack of self-esteem that makes you feel ridiculous or unlovable. Once you gain more confidence, it won't bother you anymore
 
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