I'm Afraid Of Showing Signs Of Recovery Fearing That My Family Might Think I Was Faking My Ptsd

[Abstract]

I don't really have a good history with my family; but they don't claim to remember the bad times I've had with them.

My mother is genuinely sweet and nurturing;

Does your mother acknowledge the bad times and was she in any way responsible? For example not intervening is a type of responsibility. How do you reconcile these two different statements for you do you think?

 

[Kashi]

Does your mother acknowledge the bad times and was she in any way responsible? For example not intervening is a type of responsibility. How do you reconcile these two different statements for you do you think?

Well I remember her doing bad things to me, like participating in my siblings' bullying of me, but she doesn't remember anything. In spite of what the past was, she's a really supporting mother now, but I remember terrible things about her and my family. It just sucks, having to be the only one in my family who remembers the bad times.

 

[Abstract]

I think we sometimes hang onto a picture of someone because it is difficult to accept the truth. That doesn't mean their are no good things but it can still be difficult to see the bad and accept the two together in the same person.

she's a really supporting mother now,

Is this since she knows you have PTSD? When was the last lot of bullying or allowing of bullying or other by mum?

 

[Kashi]

Is this since she knows you have PTSD? When was the last lot of bullying or allowing of bullying or other by mum?

Well lately, she's been more nurturing because of my PTSD. Before I got it, she was always there for me. The last time I remember being bullied by my mom was in eigth grade, but I think she stopped because of my depression. During the last months of middle school, I started to feel sad about my memories. I kept hanging onto the past, and I'd always cry about how horrible it was. When she noticed this, I think, that's when she started to care more about my wellbeing.

 

[Abstract]

. Before I got it, she was always there for me

This isn't really true though is it? You said she participated in the bullying and didn't protect you from the bullying from your siblings.

she stopped because of my depression.

she's been more nurturing because of my PTSD

When she noticed this, I think, that's when she started to care more about my wellbeing.

What happens if she knows you are improving and if you recover? In your deeper mind what happens?

 

[ms spock]

So you need to write down your therapist's name, any support groups you belong to and friends and resources like crisis lines and forums to look at how much you have in balance to your family support. If it is not much then you need to start building up you wider support networks.

 

[ms spock]

And the people closest to us can sometimes undermine us once we start getting better because a change in us means a change in the family/community/relationship dynamic.

 

[ms spock]

Well lately, she's been more nurturing because of my PTSD. Before I got it, she was always there for me. The last time I remember being bullied by my mom was in eigth grade, but I think she stopped because of my depression.

When you got depressed your mother stopped bullying you. I can see why you are scared of getting better from PTSD. You don't want the bullying to start again.

Do you live with your mother?

During the last months of middle school, I started to feel sad about my memories. I kept hanging onto the past, and I'd always cry about how horrible it was. When she noticed this, I think, that's when she started to care more about my wellbeing.

So she cared about your well being when you were crying and being so unhappy. There seems to be a double bind that you are stuck in.

If you are mentally unwell your mother cares for your wellbeing and stops bullying you. When you are not well she doesn't care so much about your wellbeing and she possibly will bullying you again.

You need to get some good strong supports in place before you take on your mother/family dynamic.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Their opinions have no bearing on your recovery unless you allow them to. Caregivers who lacked good boundaries and lived just to care for someone often have an existential crisis once they see we no longer need their help like we did. They are forced to look at what they want to do with their own lives. It's no fun for them but it can bring a much more balanced life for them.

If they question your progress, a simple response is all you owe them. Some suggestions:

• Thanks! I've been working hard to get better.
• I'd hope I'd be getting better after all this work. Thanks so reminding me it's worth it.
• Would you question a cancer patient of faking their cancer because they achieve a remission?
• My medical team has diagnosed me and has a treatment plan. I have noted your concerns and I will bring them up to my therapist and let you know what s/he tells me.
• Given my past behaviors, I understand why you feel the way you do. I don't blame you. I can only go with what works and my treatment is working. I hope over time it continues to do so.

If you're getting financial help from anyone, you can add "health insurance companies don't pay for fake diagnoses very often. Nor do medical professionals devote their time to helping malingerers as there are so many patients to help they don't need to drum up business."

We can't change the past but participating in our therapy is the best living amends we can make. We don't ever have to apologize for having PTSD, anymore than from getting cancer.

They'll see the change over time. But even if they don't, you're doing your best. That's all we can expect of anyone.

 

[ms spock]

I am curious. How old are you?

 

[Definitely..maybe]

I don't have any advice but I wanted to let you know I have the exact same feelings.

If I go out with a friend I'm worried they'll question why I can't go out other days.

If I'm happy one day I'm worried they'll expect it every day.

That was a huge reason that scared me away from a treatment center. I thought I would come out and everyone would expect me to be back to normal.

Once I realized ptsd is something that will probably affect me the rest of my life, I realized people just need to appreciate my good days and I need to try to overcome obstacles when I can and not give myself a hard time when I cant.

 

[ms spock]

Once I realized ptsd is something that will probably affect me the rest of my life, I realized people just need to appreciate my good days and I need to try to overcome obstacles when I can and not give myself a hard time when I cant.

I am learning what radical acceptance is and I believe Definitely...maybe has given us a good example of radical acceptance.