Im Curious And Confused Trying To Understand

[sfcffs]

I am really really trying to understand the spans of wanting to be alone, I can be like that too, and being particular about affection. I don't know how to approach the subject with my survivor. The first year we were really close and about every 3 months after that first year, he'd pull away a little more and now there is no closeness or intimacy. He says he just doesn't want to be close with me like that right now. It's been several months and I don't want to be insensitive when I broach the subject to make him pull away more. I'm new to all this I am trying to figure out why the changes have happened. I don't want to be rude and I don't know how to tell him that I'd like some kind of affection sometimes even if it's a hug goodbye. I know he can't always give it to me and I understand that but he hasn't really touched me in months. it's k bye gotta go to work and out the door he goes but comes home and sleeps in our bed but won't get close even then. I don' know if it's a coping mechanism or if it's something else. I am really confused.

 

[Dafito]

I'll be frank. Its not about you.

I remember looking at my spouse and feeling nothing. No love. Nothing. Just numb. Intimacy? No way. Even a hug was too much.

Is it fair? No. Do you deserve it? No. Does he? No.

PTSD steals love, empathy, self worth, and almost everything else of true value.

 

[sfcffs]

I'll be frank. Its not about you.

I remember looking at my spouse and feeling nothing. No love. Nothing. Just numb. I...

So should i just assume it's done and over and there is no saving it or what?

 

[Ewibi]

No. Not at all. PTSD is not easy. A lot of it comes down to how hard he is trying to get better and how long and how willing you are to wait if he is.

 

[sfcffs]

He has started therapy and is willing to go see a psychiatrist about medications and stop self medicating. He tells me he loves me via a phone call or text message. I don't like to give up on things and I really love him, but sometimes it just hurts and I don't want to say anything to him because I don't want to push him any further away than he already is. IDK what to do. I miss him i guess. I miss the him from that first year. Now with the constant changes and pulling away like every 3 months it gets worse. Im thankful he is seeking help and I have even sought help for myself as well. I'm just really so confused.