Relationship I'm Exhausted....

[Deleted member 28360]

I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted.
Everything was going great and last week we had an argument. I threw something not at him, but it was near his proximity. This changed everything. Although he says he is not abandoning me because he loves me to much, I can feel the shift in our relationship. Do we even have a relationship anymore? We were supposed to spend Halloween together, but instead we were apart. We went from spending 4-6 days together, to seeing him once last week and having minimal talk. I was making the convo and all I was receiving was one word responses. Haven't talked to him since fridY but I see him a tube on Facebook. Wow, I apologize for throwing that item repeatedly. He said everything was fine, but although because of my strong faith in God has given me peace, something is not clicking. Something is off. It's not a new relationship bc we have been in each other's lives for many years now. I just kick myself for not reacting to this incident differently. I just miss him so much although I have an independent life on my own. I just guest to know I am a stressor to him. We were in such a good place. I'm confused and exhausted. Sorry had to vent. Do I wait for him to contact me? Do I contact him? I don't even know.

 

[Amalia]

let him know you are sorry. Say you are only contacting him once. Let him know you know you are a stressor. That it went too far. Let him know you love him, and will respect he will talk when he is ready, even if it is to hear you explain how you will ensure this will never happen again.

Then get on with your own life. Focus on you, your friends, doing things, enjoying, living, laughing. Remember who you are. Remember why you should love yourself. And just keep at it. But do it for you, not for him. Good luck.

 

[Deleted member 28360]

I exactly said that. I'm not an angry person, just human. I've never reacted like that before either, but finding another woman's item pushed me to another limit. We took a break for a few weeks and he claims that's from where it was from. I let that go, but he's crucifying me for one mistake I made. He said we were ok, that he needed space and to take things slow. We indeed took 5 steps back. My heart hurts. I just don't know how to make him realize that my intention was not to hurt him.

 

[somerandomguy]

I'm sorry to have to say this, but you have to take responsibility for your actions.

When I used to get angry and throw things, it was called - rightly - abusive. My intent didn't matter - throwing things was wrong, and for those in the vicinity, it was scary.

Throwing things when angry is an abusive act. Saying "it wasn't at him" or "he pushed my past my limits" are just excuses.

Frankly, I wouldn't want to be with you either. Maybe it's time to look at yourself more carefully, instead of blaming him.

 

[Sighs]

@Losinghope11 - another woman's item? I'd probably lose my sh*t too.

 

[Deleted member 28360]

I've taken responsibility for my action. I know it was perhaps not the best way to react, but seeing that woah! And I'm not blaming him at all! I have to find forgiveness I'm my heart as well. Aside from throwing the item, I think I reacted ok.
@Sighs ...I know right...I believe that it was when we weren't together, but there's still doubt. I mean why couldn't he throw it out or maybe red flag?