Sufferer I'm Joeylittle, Hello

[joeylittle]

Obviously not my real name, but you can call me Joey. I'm a girl. I've had undiagnosed depression a long time, diagnosed major depressive disorder 4 years now, along with generalized anxiety disorder. My PTSD started when I began actually processing my sexual assault(s) in therapy. I had those events very effectively "walled off" in my memory, and they had been like that ever since they happened. Although I thought I had done some form of processing later on, it became obvious I hadn't when I started speaking with my current therapist about it.

I'm chronically suicidal, and was before the PTSD; as a depressive I'm also turning out to be treatment resistant, which is very frustrating and sad. I'm glad this site is here because I really don't always understand what is happening to me.

My therapist does EMDR and EFT/tapping. He explains things really well, and is patient and kind and supportive, but has never been through anything like this himself. Being able to connect with other people going through other versions of PTSD is really enlightening.

I don't have any family and although I have many acquaintances, I really don't have friends. There are three people I can count on, mostly; but they are all married with lives of their own. I am often left with no-one to call for help except the helplines, and that gets very hard sometimes. I do know there is an other side to all this pain; I don't know if I'll have the strength to actually get there; but places like this help, so thank you.

 

[franciemarnie]

Welcome joeylittle!

 

[precious-things]

Why do some people have the "sufferer" or "supporter" label? How do you get one of those? I'm confused....
And welcome! I'm new too. Haha. I'm about to start therapy. Can you tell me a little about EMDR and EFT?

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

Hello and welcome, Joey.
This forum is a great place to find support and understanding. Most of the forum members are kind as well as knowledgeable. I hope you will stick around so you can meet other members and so we can get to know you.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Welcome! I had the "wall crashing down" experience as well and I know how bad it can be.

 

[joeylittle]

I'm about to start therapy. Can you tell me a little about EMDR and EFT?

Hi there!

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a kind of trauma therapy that essentially asks you to focus on a portion of a traumatic experience while having external sensory stimulation - originally moving the eyes right and left, but also includes wearing earphones and hearing tones in your R and L ears, or holding onto buzzers that will vibrate alternating R and L. That's a huge oversimplification, but essentially, that's the process. The theory is that the R/L stuff allows your mind to process the memory more thoroughly by moving it through different parts of the neural network. Its been used for the treatment of PTSD since the early 90s and has been clinically verified.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a different kind of trauma or stress therapy with a wider application. You do the same kind of structure that you do with EMDR; the experience/trauma you are processing is gone through, bit by bit; only in EFT you work with it aloud the whole time (in EMDR you just hold a part of it in your mind). EFT uses tapping on a set of the body's meridian points while repeating key phrases associated with the feelings and situation belonging to the bit of the trauma you are working on. Again, oversimplified.

For both of them, the goal is to reach a point where the memory is no longer traumatic; it is fully processed, meaning integrated into your memories and diffused. EFT is newer and sounds kind of woo-woo; if it didn't actually work for me I'd be super-skeptical; but it does.

The other kind of trauma therapy is prolonged exposure therapy - this is the oldest (I believe) and for many, the most reliable. Both EMDR and EFT end up using a certain amount of this by default, since you go over your story multiple times. In PE therapy you go over your story again and again within a safe space until it had been processed.

Ok, lest I sound like an absolute know-it-all, I can say that there are other modalities I know nothing about. These are the three that my therapist put on the table as options for me. We tried EMDR but I'm not good at staying present just holding a memory in my head - I fall into it too easily. EFT works for me because we are talking the whole time and if I start getting agitated we both know it. Also, you don't have to actually feel any feelings for it to work. But, like I said, it's still thought of as pseudo-science-y in many circles.

The label was a little drop-down menu right by the bar where you're asked to type your title :)

 

[Barconian]

You explained that well @joeylittle :)

 

[joeylittle]

Hey, thanks @Barconian :D!

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the forum! :)