I'm Leaving Ptsdforum.com

[AngelaMarie]

I'm sorry if you feel you need to leave. You are the only one that knows what is best for you.

This forum has been a life saver for me. I have had a couple of times where I got a little hurt on here. However, I realized that it is because I am touchy and tend to have low self-esteem.

It's really not hard to put a capital at the beginning of a sentence or a punctuation at the end, Megan. I truly appreciate the rules for writing because I have a hard time reading if it isn't done. My concentration sure isn't what it used to be.

I hope that you have read the comments and thought about your choice. Whatever you decide I do wish you well. I hope this all works out the best for you.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Megan, I can see where you are coming from. It is hard when you are writing and looking for support about some very difficult issues you are facing to then get a reply about your grammar.

When I first joined this forum, there was some issue, and I got really upset and thought about leaving but I realised that is what I have done a lot and I need to calm down and think things through before taking rash decisions. I need to weigh the benefits over the cons.

My gut feeling was I would be able to get more help and support if I stayed. And I am really glad I stayed now, as I have found so much support here.

Think of it as a practice area for the real World. There are always going to be stuff that irritates us, I guess it is whether it is a step too far for us then we have to take that step to leave. At this moment, you might decide that the grammar rules are too much for you and you are going to leave.

Well, at least you have stated your opinion, you have created a debate instead of just stomping off straight away. That is huge. I'm not sure I would be able to do that.

You might decide that none of the answers here are ones you agree with and still leave. You might think well, some of the advice is valid and reconsider. That is you making your decision and weighing up the pros and cons. That is great. And, if you decide to stay, that is also great.

Now, as I was typing this, I was well aware that some of my grammar is far from perfect. I do make a concious effort to break up my paragraphs. I am aware that they get very long sometimes and then I look and think - "Geez" - how do I break that up?" But I just go for my best, it probably isn't perfect. But I don't think that is what is being asked for.

Spelling, another one of my phobias, most of the time I am OK and, I must admit, I don't like words mispelled and I hate things like to in place of too or witch in place of which but I have made mistakes like that myself.

And as for semi-colons, I never got that rule, I put them in when I feel it might be appropriate but I think I am probably wrong. And I begin sentences with and and but which, when I was growing up, I was taught was so wrong. But I think that rule might have changed - grammar rules do change. (I could be wrong on that so don't send me message chastising me about it! :()

I think the important thing is to try and remember to use capitalisation, commas, and break up paragraphs, so it makes it easier for people to read.

I have real problems now reading long texts that are not broken up, I just can't do it. If it is like that I just don't read it. And you want others to read your stuff so they can help you and offer support, so putting that basic effort in is important.

I hope you stay Megan, I'm glad I did.

 

[Chook]

Hey Megan.

I see you have been a member for a while now.

If you do decide to cut any ties with this forum, then at least take and hold onto any positive experiences from your time here.

Chook

 

[Jawn]

Megan there isn't a whole lot I can add to what has already been said, but it all boils down to readability for everyone.

As a former Moderator on this site I would like to point out that the moderators do a fair amount of editing of posts to help people out. However, they can not edit every single post that needs it, so that is why the poster is notified of the errors.

I recall one post I edited once that was completely unreadable. No capitalization, no periods, and no paragraph breaks. It was a full page of text. That was essentially one long sentence that made no sense. I should have sent it back to the poster to fix because I spent way to much time editing it for readability when I had other moderator tasks, my own issues to work on, etc.

The moderators are all volunteers who spend countless hours making this site be such a great place.

 

[Nicolette]

I'm sorry Megan but this has been bugging me all day and I have to set the record straight....

I have been notified a few dozen times for things that I really don't have time for. For instance, capitalization for the stupidest thing.

You received 2 notifications yesterday.... not a few dozen times.

Prior to that you received 2 notifications in December which have now expired with the first being on the 24th December. All notifications were for the same issue.

So, do you think we are being unfair or the problem is more along the lines of that you are being non-cooperative and not paying attention to an issue, which you could easily resolve, as you have continued posting in the same manner, ignoring what you agreed to (rules) and what you were reminded of?

You pissed off someone

I think this is the real issue here as I have viewed all your warnings. None were about full stops. The ones you received related to paragraphing (aides readability), a capital at the start of a sentence and not capitalizing the word 'I" and, not just once but, to a major extent. If there were one or two slip ups in a reasonable sized post and it was readable you would not have received a notification. Your posts had significant grammar variations to the basic set standard.

The forum rules are:

Basic grammar must be used within postings. All lowercase, uppercase, non-paragraphed posts will be sent back to for editing and the original deleted from the forum. Start a sentence with a capital letter, end it with a fullstop and break your content into readable size paragraphs with a clear space between each paragraph.

I suggest you take a break, read what everyone has contributed and make the decision which is best for you. I do hope you continue to stay around and reap the benefits of the forum; if you don't good luck with your choice. Just remember that a knee-jerk reaction of being "pissed off" could take away a valuable resource from you.

 

[Sterre]

Hi Megan,

Sorry that you feel this way about recieving notifications. I understand that they can feel somewhat unfriendly but when you read about the rules apllied to basic grammar, you will understand why they are enforced.

English is not my native language, and therefor I make a lot of spelling mistakes. It is not true that you must have a grammar book 24/7 up your sleeve, because I make mistakes all the time in spelling, and almost never recieve a warning about my misspelling. I do recieve warnings when I forget to capitalise or punctuate, or make some mistake in paragraphing.

The rules are not about misspeliing but about the readability of the text, so it is for your own benefit to have the grammar straight and readable, so people can respond and understand what you are writing about.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, but dont cut yourself short.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I owe an apology to Anthony, Nicolette, and moderators. I quoted a part of Megan's message that included a line stating that this the "the worst forum."

It made it look like I agree with her entire statement. I do not.

I have been VERY IMPRESSED in every way with the quality of all aspects of the forum. I am thankful, and appreciate ALL the work that it takes to make it work, and work well.

I am blessed that my only 'brain injury' from meningitis, is that I don't comprehend what I read, and have to read it multiple times to really get it. Not all people recover their grammar skills, but when the pathways in the brain HAVE to change, and work for the injured areas, it is a LONG process to re-learn their grammar skills.

Compassion should be used when communicating with people who possibly don't get it anywhere else.

 

[cherryblossom]

As a member and moderator, I think the grammar rules are very valid.

If I'm not well enough, or don't have time, I come to this forum, simply as a member. As a member (not as a forum moderator), I find posts that don't use basic grammar really hard to read, and I do not bother to read them. I simply close the thread, and move on to something else.

When I come here to moderate, and find a post is badly written, then I have to force myself to read it, and edit it. It also, generally takes me some time to edit the post, and make sense of it.

The rules are simply here to make posts easily readable to all. If a post is easy to read, and understand, then a member will likely get more responses. Surely that's a win-win situation?

If a member comes to the forum, desperate for help, support, and advice, then it makes sense for that post to be easy to read and understand.

So, a member comes to the forum, wants help and advice, and posts something that isn't easy to understand. The member probably doesn't get much response, because people struggle to read and understand the post. A moderator comes along, and edits the post, to basic grammar standards, and informs the member via a warning/ notification/ infraction (whatever you want to call it!). The post is now readable and the member gets more responses.

Any warning/ notification/ infraction given is never personal, and only for the overall good of the community.

Whatever you decide Megan, I wish you well.

 

[kimba]

Hi Megan,
I am sorry to have you leave over this. I am also someone who is glad the rules are there. There are days that I don't know I am having such a bad day until I come on here and can not type a straight sentence. That is when I know I need to give myself a break and take a day or two off. Other days I know I am having a bad day when I can't get through reading a paragraph.

It is frustrating because it is really difficult sometimes to not be able do these things. The rules have helped me be able to focus enough to get the most out of this forum. This applies to being focused enough to read and respond to others as well as using ideas or information myself.

I hope you will reconsider your decision.

 

[anthony]

I say... take care, and hope you find the help you want at your terms, as that is what you're looking for I take it... "your terms."

 

[Mina]

I hate to say it, but this actually made me giggle. If you're online, you DO have access to a dictionary - dictionary.com - among other websites. Anyway...

I'm sorry to see anyone leave such a helpful resource, but the rules are in place for all the reasons others have stated above. Lizio mentioned that this is a practice area for the real world...and it is, in many ways. Believe it or not, one of those ways is proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling. I'm primarily in recovery from PTSD, and have an office job. One way we communicate with clients and vendors is via email...and proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling are *definitely* a requirement in most business environments.

Just something else to consider. I hope you find peace and whatever it is you're seeking.

 

[Deleted member 16543]

What confuses me when people get vocal like what is happening here is knowing that upon registration they agreed to the terms and conditions, one of which is the writing rules. The rules which are set at a basic standard to aide readability for people who have a traumatized brain. This means their minds are overloaded at times so making text readable assists them.

To be honest I don't see what the big deal is asking you to write in a basic acceptable format being an adult. There is definite dramatization to some degree as no one is asking you to carry a dictionary nor are we the spelling police. Readability is important for participation but the rules do not state you have to be a spelling champion and a dictionary aides spelling not basic grammar which is a forum rule.

What if you are at a point in your life where that is not within your capabilities?? Most people with PTSD don't get things right all the time, I know it is to allow an easy read, but what if you just can't help it honestly, even after re-reading what you wrote 100 times to make sure it's right??

Maybe the forum should come with automatic spell and grammar check to avoid all these issues and make it super simple to use???