Spunky7744
New Here
Hello- If you're reading thanks for listening. I'll try to keep it in a nutshell. I think I am just beginning to accept my diagnosis. Five years ago a neurologist diagnosed me with PTSD (long story why a neurologist), which I ignored (didn't believe) until recently. At the time I was like, "No, I am not a veteran, I have my shit together, etc. He's wrong." But now five years later, I've moved from FL to NOLA to Los Angeles and back to FL. I had reasons, but it still seems excessive. Mostly, though, I have become a person who is filled with anxiety. I retired last summer from my successful 14 year career as a teacher, and can't seem to bring myself to run simple errands anymore. My two friends I have left have accepted that if they want to hang out, they need to come to my place. Sounds are becoming louder and louder- I literally jump at the smallest unexpected sounds or sights. I wake up regularly during the night, my heart pounding out of my chest, feeling like I'm dying. I know I should see a psychiatrist or psychologist, and I have in the past, but all they did is want to up my sertraline or talk about my weekend, which there's nothing to talk about. And my insurance is gone now anyway. I'm starting to drink too much and worry I'm falling into really bad habits. I feel so guilty for feeling this way... like there are so many other folks worse off than me.
