Sexual Assault I'm Not Mine

[tm2566]

I can't stop replaying that one scene in my head. Pinned on the wall moving my head side to side to avoid his face. He whispered in my ear "you're going to be mine tonight" He was right and I was never mine. Every time I've been hurt I'm theirs. I'm my brothers, I'm Michael's, I'm Brennan's, I'm Ray's. I'm not mine I'm whoever chooses they want me. They'll do anything to make sure I know I'm theirs and that they can do what they want. Fear, making sure I can't fight, physical force, guilt, and basically just about anything. I look back at my life and realize I don't belong to myself. I'm still theirs but I'm especially his. I keep replaying those words on a slow loop almost like I'm trying to torture myself. "You're... Going... To... Be... Mine... Tonight" I was never mine.

 

[Justmehere]

:hug:s if you accept them. I'm so sorry you went through this. I can relate. In the middle of the loop, if you can, begin to reject the message from them, and begin to remind yourself of new message... something like, now, I can belong to me. It might help the self torturous loop of their messages to you to begin to become something that helps heal.

 

[tm2566]

:hug:s if you accept them. I'm so sorry you went through this. I can relate. In the middle of the loo...

I will try. I'm trying to occupy my mind as best as I can at the moment but so far no success :/