I'm Ok Until I'm Not

[Spiderallis]

I think it'd be pretty awesome to have a friend who is brave enough to express their needs or wants so honestly. That kind of insight must have taken a lot of hard work. I'd like a hug too, but the few people I could hug are turning their backs because no one wants to see me not being the strong one they can lean on. Can everyone remove their masks, take off some of the armor and stow the weapons long enough for a group hug? It's okay, the rest of the world doesn't have to know we're not made of steel, this is just between us.

 

[shimmerz]

You are a pretty straight shooter, so I am going to assume that you would appreciate the same in return. You have such a battle going on inside and I daresay that it isn't because of how you felt yesterday but due to all of the war games that you use on yourself to choke back a basic human need. To need. Now that's a conflict if I ever saw one.

Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and be OK again.

Maybe you were actually OK yesterday. Maybe that is how you are supposed to feel in order to move forward with whatever smoke and mirrors you have going on that keeps you insisting that you 'shouldn't' (not 'don't) need anybody. How dare you need! So, you freeze (and fight to stay) into the idea that anyone who 'needs' (including yourself) is one of the following and most like more that you didn't choose to post.

Pathetic,

anti-emotional BS

hate feeling like I need people

I'm ok without anyone to support me

I HATE it

I hate feeling vulnerable

hate feeling like a selfish twat

hate feeling like such a loser

Hon, (yes, I said hon), don't you see that PTSD takes away part of our 'human-ness'? Needing is human. We need to fight to get that human element back. Yesterday was just a reminder that you have this need; deserve this need; need to acknowledge this need; and fight for this need. You are a fighter, I have seen that. Allow yourself to need to fight this refusal to need.

:hug: given if you need them ('cause I know you don't want them).

 

[Deleted member 1860]

My need to be safe trumps everything else, even the need for human interaction.

Check out the pyramid of needs and the concept behind it.

 

[shimmerz]

I am assuming you are meaning Maslow's....I know about the needs. I am sitting at dire physiological need deprivation and will be for some time. I get it. I don't want to push....so I gently ask, did anything resonate with you here, or the easier question of are you feeling better? It is nice to see you back.

 

[Frogs88]

The pyramid isn't saying that you have to meet each need in turn but more over how much energy you expend to each need. If you are lonely and hungry you are still lonely but you put all your energy into finding food not into finding company (Psychology degree). You want to be safe and the PTSD makes you feel constantly unsafe so a lot of energy is used in trying to feel safe, doesn't mean that you aren't lonely and need to deal with that a little bit.

 

[shimmerz]

Fight, woman! Fight! But not yourself. Fight IT.

 

[Spiderallis]

I love that pyramid. Wish I didn't need a reminder of how to prioritize my existence, but it's quite a handy tool. Not sure how to help with the safety stuff, it's tricky to find a comfortable way to wade into that.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@Frogs88, that's not a correct interpretation of the pyramid, no need to throw around your credentials, especially when you're wrong.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

See me back? I never went anywhere. I'm not sure what you are referring to. @shimmerz

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I honestly think its time for me to leave the forum.

 

[Spiderallis]

@Solara I'm sure you're the best qualified to know what you need, but if this is goodbye I'd like to thank you for being you. I've come to really appreciate your style.

 

[shimmerz]

Its only 1pm and I'm calling it a day. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and be OK again.

This is what I mean by being back. Jeez. Really? Chill out.