I'm Really Scared

[Vee Lagrome]

I'm getting ready to submit this document/letter to request a hearing before an administrative judge regarding my hostile work environment suit. I'm really scared and feeling intimidated by the mounds of paperwork I got from the agency I used to work for. I want justice against this abusive agency that just acts like it can do whatever it wants and damn all of the consequences. I'm still angry about how I was treated and I want SOMETHING to be done about it. I'm frustrated that even if I were to win some settlement against the agency - that's just money from taxpayers. The people who ACTUALLY hurt me won't suffer one bit.

I've lost sleep, I've felt suicidal, I've wondered why someone could be so cruel to a person who just started a job there AND lost their home and all of their possessions. Yes- my supervisor assigned me like 14 new cases RIGHT effing after she found out that I lost my home to a violent crime and then used my unsurprising failure to have me fired. Who does that?! No decent human being is that evil. Well, that's who she is. But, I want JUSTICE. I want her to be punished for her cruel and unusually racist mindframe to be CONDEMNED.

I'm so angry and I feel so scared. What if the court doesn't believe me? What if my supervisor pulls off this big great lie by pulling all her frigging lackies to lie for her? Who am I? I'm just one person. I don't know if I can handle this. I want to find a lawyer who specializes in this stuff because I just feel so helpless. The union has been helping me out (because the union rep is just such an amazing person - she has helped me through a lot of this) but I want a lawyer to help me make my case. At every step, I feel like the agency is trying to screw me.

What do I do? I start shaking and feeling sick every time I think about the agency, let alone getting into a huge legal battle with them.

 

[ronin47]

You have support, remember that. You have the union representative who has been guiding you along. No matter how it turns out, you should be immensely proud of the fact that you stood up for yourself. Nothing this woman did has anything to do with you and everything to do with her and her distorted mind. The way you get through this is by reaching out instead of in. Reach out to friend and those professionals who are supporting you when it begins to feel like too much. There are people out there who can and will help you, but you won't know that if you don't talk to them.

 

[Kb3]

Hi Vee, I liked what ronin47 said and wanted to add that what matters is that you look after you. If it seems like too much to fight the powers that be, then it's ok not to. If you find a specialised lawyer and feel like you want to take things further, then go for it. The important thing is not to let yourself get hurt in the process of getting justice. Some battles can be won at too high a price, and as the old saying goes, good living can be the best revenge. Another saying that I personally have come to adore is "there's more than one way to skin a cat."

Hope it's ok to have piped up, and I wish you the best of luck.