Hi everyone
I've been up since 3:30am (it's 5:30 now) and need to go back to sleep but before I do would like to see if anyone has any thoughts or supportive words that might help.
I got a phone call from my Sufferer early this a.m., he told me that, as usual, he couldn't go to sleep and so he went for a drive. However, this time, he fell asleep at the wheel and went into a ditch! He was crying. He feels his life is going to end soon, this was just one more major stressful incident that has occurred since he was discharged from the Army in December. He really feels the end of his life is near. And to be quite honest, I agree with him. I hate to admit that, but if things continue as they are it will be so.
It was only 4 weeks ago that he was hit by a bus! That accident has played out over and over in his head, it was yet another trauma to add to his Iraq memories.
He has undergone phenomenal amounts of stress since December, and all by himself (no family, no me living near him). it's been way too much. I'm really worried, I was an absolute frazzled mess after he called - adrenaline running high, heart pounding...prayed to God "please help me, I don't know what to do (to help him). I just don't know what to do".
Funny, but not so funny, Last night, I was watching a recording of Michael Jackson's memorial and had a passing thought that my sufferer felt he was at the end of his rope. It bothered me to think that and I shook it out of my head as much as possible. I seem to know stuff about him just before he tells me.
Question:
How to help him? Right now, he is carrying life's entire load by himself, but not doing it very well (obviously). He is seeing two docs - VA and Vet Ctr - but don't know how much they are helping him, it doesn't seem they are. To add to his stress, he was 'cornered' by an ex who wants him back desperately and because he said no she called the police and said he threatened her with a gun; he went to jail. He is innocent. He now cannot work a decent job until the legal battle is finalized, no one will hire him. He therefore doesn't have much money, can't leave the State that he is in (at least I think he can't) his family doesn't help, doesn't have money and they don't seem care, call, nothing.
My heart aches to watch...I can't just sit and watch...there has to be help for him.
He said "isn't this crazy? my life?" And I said, 'well, it's not a walk in the park. But I will say, it makes sense in that post Iraq stress will play itself out and as long as we are open and honest about that, it can get better'.
I also said that he doesn't have to 'do' all of life all by himself. I asked if he would promise to call me or his doctor later to talk about this and what help he can get, that I want him to do this. He said he would, but we'll see.
From there, I don't know what to do. Maybe there's nothing, and that's the reality. I don't know, just talking so as to also help me ease my stress...this was rough on me...so painful to hear and watch, it hurts my heart cuz I love him so and I know his heart.
The thought of possibly watching a life disintegrate - end - is not something I want to do, especially when I know that there is help, there's got to be.
Any thoughts? I'm good and tired now from all the adrenaline and will now go to sleep.
Thanks!
I've been up since 3:30am (it's 5:30 now) and need to go back to sleep but before I do would like to see if anyone has any thoughts or supportive words that might help.
I got a phone call from my Sufferer early this a.m., he told me that, as usual, he couldn't go to sleep and so he went for a drive. However, this time, he fell asleep at the wheel and went into a ditch! He was crying. He feels his life is going to end soon, this was just one more major stressful incident that has occurred since he was discharged from the Army in December. He really feels the end of his life is near. And to be quite honest, I agree with him. I hate to admit that, but if things continue as they are it will be so.
It was only 4 weeks ago that he was hit by a bus! That accident has played out over and over in his head, it was yet another trauma to add to his Iraq memories.
He has undergone phenomenal amounts of stress since December, and all by himself (no family, no me living near him). it's been way too much. I'm really worried, I was an absolute frazzled mess after he called - adrenaline running high, heart pounding...prayed to God "please help me, I don't know what to do (to help him). I just don't know what to do".
Funny, but not so funny, Last night, I was watching a recording of Michael Jackson's memorial and had a passing thought that my sufferer felt he was at the end of his rope. It bothered me to think that and I shook it out of my head as much as possible. I seem to know stuff about him just before he tells me.
Question:
How to help him? Right now, he is carrying life's entire load by himself, but not doing it very well (obviously). He is seeing two docs - VA and Vet Ctr - but don't know how much they are helping him, it doesn't seem they are. To add to his stress, he was 'cornered' by an ex who wants him back desperately and because he said no she called the police and said he threatened her with a gun; he went to jail. He is innocent. He now cannot work a decent job until the legal battle is finalized, no one will hire him. He therefore doesn't have much money, can't leave the State that he is in (at least I think he can't) his family doesn't help, doesn't have money and they don't seem care, call, nothing.
My heart aches to watch...I can't just sit and watch...there has to be help for him.
He said "isn't this crazy? my life?" And I said, 'well, it's not a walk in the park. But I will say, it makes sense in that post Iraq stress will play itself out and as long as we are open and honest about that, it can get better'.
I also said that he doesn't have to 'do' all of life all by himself. I asked if he would promise to call me or his doctor later to talk about this and what help he can get, that I want him to do this. He said he would, but we'll see.
From there, I don't know what to do. Maybe there's nothing, and that's the reality. I don't know, just talking so as to also help me ease my stress...this was rough on me...so painful to hear and watch, it hurts my heart cuz I love him so and I know his heart.
The thought of possibly watching a life disintegrate - end - is not something I want to do, especially when I know that there is help, there's got to be.
Any thoughts? I'm good and tired now from all the adrenaline and will now go to sleep.
Thanks!
