Complex Lulu
New Here
Yesterday night was one of the worst I've had so far. Can't fully explain what has happened. I couldn't sleep and was thinking of killing myself. I'm so exausted. When I made up my mind to do it all of a sudden it felt like someone slammed me in the head with a hammer. Felt really dysregulated and disoriented. I had huge complex ptsd episode in which i just howled crying and being absolutely terrified thst there's a man in my house in my kitchen, holding a knife.... Furious... Out to get anyone who's in his way. I know there was no one there, but in my head it was like "he's about to open the door and hurt you". I run into my bf room hyperventilating like mad. I calmed down after another 30min or so.
And here I am again, very suicidal. I just want to end it. I'm so exhausted. So confused as to what is my brain doing to me. Did anyone dealt with similar problem?
And here I am again, very suicidal. I just want to end it. I'm so exhausted. So confused as to what is my brain doing to me. Did anyone dealt with similar problem?
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