Childhood Impulse control issues as a result of childhood trauma?

[Stills]

One of the main things i struggle with is impulse control as a growing, evolving adult which continues to throw me off track and scare me. an example of this is that i know consciously i am making irrational decisions in the spur of the moment, but i see no harm in it until it is often too late or have suffered consequences due to the impulsivity. can you relate, and if so, what helps you overcome this? i think that i used to be well controlled or at least i imploded everything until i became rather explosive and found it difficult to control my behaviour. this is the most concerning to me as it's not socially acceptable for adults.

another key example is that i will lash out profusely and go off about how i feel or rather blame other people. i don't remember ever doing this in the past as a child. perhaps it was occasional, but i was able to contain myself to an extent i.e. i would write in my journal a lot, but i guess i felt it wasn't serving me and i wanted to "hurt" others, make them aware that what i feel is serious and should be taken seriously. its only gotten worse as i've grown older. the worst part is that it's counter productive and doesn't serve me or anyone well.

 

[The Albatross]

Both my mom and mother in law have impulse control issues... only my mom's behavior (lashing out, blaming others, aggression) has gotten worse as she's gotten older. I know for them in both cases their behaviors took root in childhood yes and flourished and pretty much took over in mature age. Neither of them is receiving treatment and there are other issues for both but like you share, the consequences are escalating and both realize the dynamic... so far neither has sought therapeutic assistance to help.

I am prone to impulse control issues but having "the mothers" with these issues and at times stepping in to help them... I really squashed it down hard in myself and tried to find another way to deal and manage. Not the reason I was in treatment, but something I'd fret over because I didn't want to do what they did, adamantly.

Lemme think on this one, and if you'd like to share more, please do. I really think this is a good topic.

 

[shimmerz]

irrational decisions in the spur of the moment, but i see no harm in it until it is often too late

Not sure if you subscribe to the Structural Dissociation Theory, but when I am removed from the consequences of my actions, I see it as one of my dissociative parts acting out. There is a feeling that I experience when one of my 'parts' is acting out. And that feeling is 'it is not like me to be irrational (let's say).

When I notice this happening, I try to be an observer to the behaviour and what led up to it. Sometimes I can't be the observer until after the event has taken place, but I can work on what was going on at the time and try to catch it earlier so I don't end up in a bad way in the future.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

i am making irrational decisions in the spur of the moment, but i see no harm in it until it is often too late or have suffered consequences due to the impulsivity. can you relate, and if so, what helps you overcome this?

I find it very hard to curb this one, and yet if I can become aware enough of the consequences it scares me back into reality. Catching myself in time is the main thing, Still a work in progress but I sure can relate to what you are experiencing. Re entering therapy, because I need to address this and get some real help and learn new skills to cope and manage better. It seems as though once the thoughts are engaged in the desire, I have a harder time coping and managing. I wish you success.

 

[Kintsugi]

Have you studied or practiced healthy communication patterns? That helped me enormously. Anthony changed my life by sending me this: Dead Link Removed

It takes time to practice and sink in and feel that you're equipped enough with the tools therein to implement them in the heat of the moment, if you will, but seriously that book was invaluable to me.