In A Deep State Of Depression

[BradyLady]

I'm going to the doctor's office later today. I've been having severe, barely tolerable depression and also a lot of physical pain. Hard to know which is chicken and which is egg, since both conditions worse the other. Fortunately I'm seeing both my psychologist and my primary care doctor. I hope somebody can help me. :(

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[ShodokanJenn]

I hope you get some answers. I know what you mean about not knowing which is causing which. I have chronic, severe pain and I also have severe PTSD. They play off each other; when one gets worse, the other follows. Sometimes I'm not sure which one is behind the worsening symptoms. My doctor and my therapist communicate, and it takes both of them to get things back under control.

 

[BradyLady]

I'm fortunate that my medical care, both physical and mental, all comes from the same company and the same clinic. My doctors can communicate with each other too. Both appointments are going to be followed up in 15 days. My psychologist would really like for my husband to be there. Oh, and guess what--my husband ended up calling in sick today anyway. He still couldn't go with me to my session *because* he was sick. He had a headache and is better now. He's diabetic, so it could have been a blood sugar thing. But telling me I hadn't given him enough notice to take the day off work, and then taking the day off after all but still not going with me.... typical of how my luck goes. He said he needed to know two weeks in advance, and the appointment is 15 days away, so let's see what his excuse will be not to go with me next time.

Meantime, physical therapy for the pain, and she recommends I get a neck pillow. I'm diabetic as well, to top everything else off, and I was worried because my glucose readings have generally been over 200 (that's around 8% for those of you on the A1C scale) for the past week, no matter what I eat or don't eat, and in spite of taking my insulin as directed. Metformin is being added, but then it turns out too that my testing machine may be defective. A week is about as long as I've been using it, but this morning I did a confirmation test on a backup kit, and there was a 100-point difference in the two readings. I might not have been reading as high as I'd thought. They gave me another new machine.

It's been a stressful day. Thanks to the clinic's computer system constantly derping, it seemed everything was conspiring to make things as complicated as possible. Delays, delays, delays. Right down to the end, where I took a number at the pharmacy, and the automated system skipped right over it. I drew 641. It went directly from 640 to 642. I had to end up line-jumping. "Hey, I was supposed to be next!" They tried to make it out like I just didn't hear my number being called, but I pointed out to them on the screen on the wall where there was no 641 showing. Don't gaslight me, pharmacy. Nice try. I never got mad. I kept myself together. But boy, I've dealt with a lot of family members who liked to play their favorite mind game with me. You know, the one where they keep pushing my buttons until I finally get angry, and then call me a crazy bitch for being angry. I felt like the universe was doing that to me today.