In-laws Coming Tomorrow, Fighting With Fiance

[katiekat]

Ok, So my fiance and I have been through a very rough patch for the last 8 months-basically since we both entered separate therapy and stopped smoking weed. We don't get along AT ALL now, I have come to realize that the weed is what kept us from bickering and realizing the problems we have. My fiance has been lying to me about our finances, but has come up with every reason under the sun of what is going on and why, and honestly, none of it is making sense and I simply have no reason to trust him. So, I am not feeling all warm and fuzzy about him, and his parents are coming to town tomorrow for our son's birthday.

My question: How can I get through this weekend and keep cool? My fiance is trying to act all sweet and nice and tell me everything he thinks I want to hear, but really, all I want to hear is the truth, and until then, I am going to have a really hard time being nice or even pretending to be nice to him.

I should also mention that the way I feel right now towards him is a lot like how I felt and acted towards my abusers (mom and brother). I want to lock myself in my room and ignore everyone, but unfortunately, I can't do that. I also am feeling resentful towards my fiance because he is making us go to couple's therapy when he hasn't made any effort what-so-ever to do the things I have been asking him to do for YEARS, yet all of the sudden when it's about time to see a couple's therapist, he is doing the things I ask? I cant help but feel annoyed about it because he is going to march in there and declare he IS doing the things I ask-which is total crap! I am feeling so depressed, all I want is to celebrate my son's birthday without my fiance and his parents, but I can't do that. :arghh;

 

[nursenurse]

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. You are maturing in the relationship, he isn't. If all you had in common was weed and not the basics like trust and honesty, you haven't an iceberg's chance in hell of this relationship surviving. Ship off. I don't care about the parents. You will be civil because you care about your son, but after that, get a life for yourself and your child. Maybe your fiancé will grow up someday. But you have to take care of the child now, who asked for none if this. And yourself, who realizes this is nonsense and no way to live.

 

[katiekat]

I truly wish it was that easy. We are both financially dependant on each other, and the thought of me having to split my son up and not see him every day makes this really hard. My question wasn't ab

 

[Deleted member 1860]

NurseNurse didn't give you an answer just because it was easy.

A lot of couples have financial issues. You say you're dependent on him, but if he is the one lying to you about money, then you'll end up in financial hell just because of him. And then it will be even harder to get away and the negative money cycle will continue. Not a good place to be!

 

[katiekat]

I'm not looking for advice on what to do about my relationship, I'm looking for advice on how to get thru the next few days without conflict.