Justmehere
Sponsor
I have had friends and family and partners do the same! They mean it in fun and I jump and oh it’s terrible.so he will purposely scare me to "play"....he means no harm...but good grief it's killing me.
Talk to him.
Everything you are describing is your body/brain in fight or flight overdrive, typical stuff with PTSD.
You don’t have to divulge the trauma to him, in fact, I really strongly suggest handling that only when you are ready. Sharing all the details about it can sometimes stir up symptoms.
But, this weekend, with the two of you, is possibly a great time to explain you’ve been to a counselor about some things you are not ready to talk about (unless you are) and tell him how you are struggling now. Tell him you know his trying to have fun, and that you need to have fun in different ways other than being spooked.
It will be hard and you will feel vulnerable - but from one super independent person to another - I can tell you it’s worth it. It’s taken a lot of time and practice, but I’m now to the point where this past week, I was super sick. Trying to do it all on my own, realized ok, someone else probably would have asked for help... and it was easy. I asked for help. A friend drove me to the doctor and brought me chicken soup... and it was easy and felt good to be vulnerable in that way. Not scary. I realize this may seem like small progress, but for me it was huge and worth the battle to try to be a little less independent. One step at a time.