Infraction Discussion on Content

[cragger65]

I need to apologize for my post yesterday. A 3 week dog-fight came to a smashing head with my finance guy yesterday, and I let that spill over in my post regarding the rules of the forum. I am sure it sounded very unappreciative, and it was on my part.

While I am concerned about how it affects a new comer, for me I have read and re-read the rules to understand as well as I can, and cannot say they have affected me adversely. Quite the contrary, I think the moderation is the key thing keeping this place safe, and I appreciate that to the extreme.

The re-wording of notices to humanize them I thought was a good suggestion. I think that because of the state people are in, they feel that they are being "slapped by the machine", rather than welcomed by the people. I can understand that when in a fragile state. PTSD has made me very reactionary, I imagine others can relate.

Again, my apologies Anthony, I can't imagine what it must take to make this place possible and (when I'm not in a pisser) I appreciate it more than you could ever know.

Thanks,
Dave

 

[A-RON]

I need to say something important. I want all of you to know that my comments about flinging "poop" was simply the first thing that I thought of when Anthony asked me for a suggestion. I wasn't trying to be vulgar or insincere, it was just a really bad example of emotionally-intelligent signage. The idea behind emotionally-intelligent signage is that you're communicating to the right brain instead of the left brain. It's supposed to be fun, creative, and empathetic. I made a mistake for thinking that a creative solution would be appropriate, and I APOLOGIZE TO ANYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN OFFENDED BY ME.

 

[Grama-Herc]

A-Ron

It was not your creative solution that upset me, it was your "choice" of the type of creative solution that bothered me.

Isn't is nice we can discuss issues like adults now.

 

[fin]

It is very easy to be taken off topic here and....While we arent here to discuss your use of the word "poop" I would like to say on this and in doing so...

A-RON ...I would like to point you to one of your posts in this thread:

Hey Anthony, have you ever heard of "Emotionally Intelligent Signage"? You might want to Google it.
By the way, I don't thinks it's harsh in a "normal" environment, but you have to remember that you're dealing with some people that get defensive easily. Neither side is wrong for the way they feel, but I think it might help you achieve your intended purpose if the wording was more emotionally considerate.

I think that maybe now you have some impression of what it is like for Anthony and Nicolette to be mis-understood so easily. Perhaps that will help to answer some of your thoughts on it.

I am not offended by your word poop either, but I believe you really have to take other people into account here....and please as you wrote yourself A-RON "I think it might help you achieve your intended purpose if the wording was more emotionally considerate."

Creativity has nothing to do with this as far as I can see. But I am open to the fact that I could be wrong. After all it is just my opinion.
~fin

 

[A-RON]

I don't quite understand what you're trying to get at, Fin. I've apologized and I can do nothing more. I have no control over this situation. Is there something more that I can do?

 

[fin]

I dont quite understand either A-RON....I have no problem. And I am wondering why you might think I do.

And I dont know what situation you are referring to....to be able to give an opinion on anything more that you might do.

And I am certainly not trying to get at anything...I have written exactly what I think about what I have read here. I dont think I have been ambiguous at all. I really hope you aren't thinking I might be trying to get at something here....I am an open book A-RON.

You do not have to apologize to me...I can see nothing that you have done to me A-RON.

As you have said we are all entitled to our opinions, and just like you have, that is what I have written in response to what I have read, nothing more and nothing less, just my own 2 cents worth....isnt that what I have done? I hope it is ok that I am also able to voice my thoughts.... and I cant really see anything derogatory here, nor anything aimed at anyone here on this forum.

My comments about "flaming" that has been aimed at Anthony and Nicolette were in response to their posts and this thread....and not having been privvy to the PMs they have received...I can only imagine that some of what they have received could be from old banned members and such alike...that were trying to undermine this forum, and no-one else.


~fin

 

[TLight]

Geez you guys...........with so much pain already under our belts, why add more BS.

Just do what they tell us to do. If you get an infraction, try to be aware, but don't blow a friggin fuse over it. Move on.

And yes, the capitalization can be annoying and we should all try to do our best to do it right...........it annoys the moderators I'm sure. So just tighten it up a bit folks!

 

[fin]

am smiling TLight have just read the anger thread also.........I can hear your voice saying "geez you guys"... am totally light LOL well cool anyway...although I can see perhaps that it might not seem that way...just really had to keep answering...you know...when someone keeps asking...you feel like you got to keep explaining yourself...dont want to be misconstrued.

~fin

 

[Tinyflame]

The only thing I could suggest as perhaps "more humane" wording is changing "warning" to something more benign like "correction", but then maybe virtually everyone would ignore it. Personally it's kind of "apples or oranges" to me; might as well just say what needs to be said.

I know in my case I "earned" my infraction, and unfortunately I'd like to say "I won't be getting another one" and I will definitely try, but the likelihood is (eventually) I will. I will make mistakes. Sometimes my fingers are a lot faster than my (absent) brain, lol.

I don't think it's ever appropriate to slam anyone personally, especially people working their "butts" off.

No one caused my mistake but me, the way I see it.

 

[anthony]

As I have said before, I understand that some rules such as "no abusive posting", " no spamming", "no adding links" are important, but why should it matter if a thread title isn't capitalized?

It actually makes reading through a list of threads quite easy... and this was one thing pointed out by members when I actually stopped doing this for a while. People then noticed the difference on how effective and easy it can be to read a well written title vs. a not so well written title. It then took me about 12 hours to change all the one's I had left at that time to see whether it made a difference or not. The majority ruled on even that one from memory.

I don't think it's too harsh, but it could be more pleasant. If you wanted to "fuzzy" it up a little, you could say something like,

"Please understand that this warning is not intended as a personal attack - we are glad to have so many participating members! However, for the greater good of this community, you are expected to understand and follow the rules of this forum. This warning is a reminder to please abide by these policies, which can be found at <insert link here>."

I think is is workable. I will look at implementing such a change soon and see how that goes.

The majority favours the system is fine... so the decision was obviously quite valid. I believe the majority will still continue to vote the system is fine and adequate. I concur that it could be touched up to help anyone who is sensitive upon coming here, though remembering that the idea and purpose of this forum is to help remove such issues from your life and aid you in a postive recovery, not negative behavious and/or enabling behaviour.

 

[Jestadud]

Just a word from someone new and not very proficient on the computer.

Recently I got a message from the PTSDForum and it unerved me to see it amongst my emails. I had to go and have a fag (smoke) before opening it. It was only a friend request, but I didn't know you done this.

If it had been an infraction notice like you've shown it would have really unsettled me. Not because I don't want to be told I've dne something wrong but because it looks computer speak, " a law has been broken". I'd have been unsure what to do.

I prefer what Mina has suggested because it feels human, it's more "you have made a mistake, please don't do it again".

Totally understand wanting to keep the site tidy and organised, greatly appreciate that it is.

Anthony, to lighten the mood here a bit and highlight just how dumb people out here can be, one of the main reasons I registered as a member of this forum is because you made me think I was a Troll. I thought you meant people who visited the site and just trolled through the pages!!

Jesta

 

[fin]

awww Jesta......I am not wholly sure of what a troll is either...but it isnt someone that just reads I'm sure.

I was told of a couple of people on another site-a big global website for friendship...I dont think I am allowed to name it here.
Anyway ... I was told of this couple that joined it and then proceeded to join groups within it...Christian, Catholic...Wicca...and many others...trauma groups, all within the main site itself...you get the idea. Oh and they would use a few different names; after each one was caught...they would take a new name.
The thing these people did was get involved-kind of....get to meet and get email addy's etc. and then started to "flame" other people and all their friends etc.
When they got found out...they then started sending personal messages and emails to everyone "flaming" and it was really nasty stuff....and when I say really nasty, I mean really REALLY nasty stuff. They did it as something to do...to cause disruption and it worked.
They were eventually "kicked" and banned but a lot of pain and heartache had already ensued, and it doesnt always stop someone ...I think the main site eventually did something (I dont know what) with their IP address, (again I dont know what or how)

I just know that sometimes we dont realise ...and that was my concern and what I wrote about here when I talked about someone from the past; that may have been banned and was coming back on and PM'ing Anthony and Nicolette. It harms quite badly and I dont think that it hurts in some way to be aware that it happens because then we can stop it...WHICH IS WHY I AM SOO GLAD THIS SITE IS MODERATED THE WAY IT IS....just wanted to say that.

Oh and they would go to Christian sites and get in with them and then go nuts at them...in a pretty bad way-satanic kind of stuff
and go to Wicca sites saying they were Christian ...and then go nuts at them...and they definately weren't Christian.

you get my point I hope guy's...they would appear to be one thing and then say they were something else and not even be that.
It was done to cause heartache and get people setting off against each other, for fun.

~fin