Compromise?
I have some more thoughts.
So the infraction system is intended to have a smooth running forum that we can all operate in without chaos and destruction. Do we all agree this is important? I do. The problem for the most part that is presented here, as far as I see, is do we agree with the infraction system being implemented for grammatical error?
In terms of concisely worded threads, yes this is an important issue to the forum for all of us. It's useless and offputting reading a load of threads saying "help". How do I know which one I can be of any use to without reading them all? "Help - self harm" would be better... as an ex self harmer, I could have something to offer that person. If I read a list of threads just saying "help" or "PTSD", I am just put off from helping anybody and contributing. In the same breath...a little balance is important too. "help - ptsd - struggling" is good enough to me, even if the whole post is about one aspect of PTSD, like flashbacks. The umbrella title directs me enough to have an idea. Some people will be more specific and say "flashbacks" in the title, or even "flashbacks of car accident". The person writing it may not have enough knowledge of PTSD to know specifically what they mean.
For the newcomers introducing themselves... I think balance is important here too. They are new members who are often in a very bad place and in crisis and have come to this forum for help. If their introductory title doesn't depict their particular trauma, for instance... and they then get an infraction - how offputting is that? Yes, newcomers should obide by rules too, and they are asked to read the rules. But, lets face it... who actually does that when they are desperate, find a forum that could help, and just get excited and write for the first time? How many of us actually read the rules before making our first ever post on a forum? That's not to say it's okay... but these people have only just landed here, and are desperate/excited/overly relieved and acting on that. Maybe we could help the newcomers with another system... before the post goes through, reminders of the rules of posting and a back button to go back and change it? I don't know if that's already there, but just a thought. A lot of forums have rules, and they all tend to be similar... sometimes people just assume the rules will be simple before actually looking and realising this forum is on a tighter leash than most and this is what makes it better than most. A chance for the newcomers to realise and get a feel for this place would be a nicer welcome and more accommodating considering the distressed circumstances people often come here under. This may not be simple or straight forward enough... but kindness and appreciation for others' perspectives and initial states when they arrive is important.
In all other respects - If the title conveys it's meaning, that should be good enough right? Perfection will never be achieved, but good enough for the majority is good enough, right?
For grammatical issues like capitalising: If it's for smooth running and easier management for Anthony - then whatever Anthony needs. I am not the one slogging away behind the scenes, so if Anthony really needs capitalised titles, I'm all for that.
Grammatically speaking as a user of this forum... I think it's a little OTT, but then I don't know if not capitalising etc. titles presents a technical problem or not. In terms of reading threads and non capitalised titles --well, I really don't see what difference a capitalised or not capitalised thread makes. If it comes down to easier reading... I think that's a little obsessive and perhaps we don't all want to have to be so obsessive in order to comply with the rules? And not all of us are good at grammar. I mean, if it's absolutely necessary, I'll comply with the rules as it's not important enough to me to leave over it. But since opinion was asked for... my opinion is if I find the title of a book difficult to read amongst a library, writing to the author telling them I want the book changed to make it easier for me to read amongst the other titles would be seen by most, I assume, as over the top - unreasonable even.
Is there no compromise we can all come to? This is a community...
Also, I think the bigger issue here everybody is touching on is a question: Is offence taken or is it given? What's the intention?
I see everybody's points here, and I don't disagree with anyone's opinion actually. I can see everyone's perspective. Which makes me realise that something seemingly simple, actually isn't - because we are all human and we all interpret and perceive from our perspectives. With only written words on a screen, and there is less information to make appropriate interpretation of intention. Without a tone of voice, facial expression... and with PTSD... we have to work really hard to remember the power and destructive nature that interpretation can sometimes cause. We should all try to think of other possible intentions before taking offence, and we should all try to remember the importance of interpretation when we write something so as to try to avoid a likelihood of others taking offence. And where offence is still given or taken, we should clarify the inention before acting on the offensiveness we feel we have been subjected to. Maybe this needs to be put up somewhere a 'guide' to life as a PTSDforum member. It's how we handle conflict that matters most in anything.
I don't think we can ask Anthony not to give infractions, he has had to resort to this after years of going down 'polite PM's' and failing. This forum is so big, it is like a society in itself now. I remember when it was much smaller and easier to handle, and I know others who remember when it was even smaller and had only just begun. Now...it's huge! It's a lot for one man to take on as a responsibility...and a PTSD sufferer as well.
I think if we can remember that, whilst Anthony has the support of Nic and other moderators and a team behind him... he is the owner of this forum, and this is a HUGELY demanding thing for him at times.I don't need to do much to see that -look at any section of the forum and think of the number of threads every day and the team behind the scenes having to moderate it all. And they do it for us.
In the same breath, I think it's also important for Anthony and his team to remember the importance of conveying messages in the intended way, with some thought to how they may be received. Generally speaking, I don't find there are problems in this respect. But... I'm sorry, there have been a lot of posts here made by both members and those on the management team and at times, I can see why somebody might react on an emotional level. Sometimes I see somebody writing a thread that is the opposite - it is so abrupt, and probably intended to be non emotional so as not to cause offence... but abrupt statements can be taken as angry or hostile too. The tone is sometimes written from emotional levels. This is human and not something to be necessarily overly criticised or punished...but balanced... a little effort, a little consideration for what others may read it as, and what others may have intended it as, and a little reminder of that, and a little reminder to give and take... we all write things we sometimes look back and realise sounded not quite hor it was meant... I don't think it's a bad thing just to point these issues out?
In the infraction system, it would be really important in my eyes to keep it as non personalised as possible to avoid sounding judgemental. If I were to read a comment like "play nice", or "come on..." or whatever suchlike comments, I would see that as personalised and at risk of sounding critical, possibly even condescending to some. The intention may not have been that...it may have been a light-hearted comment. But inappropriate given the context of an infraction. Having said that, if somebody feels offended by something and it really matters a lot - just ask for what they meant by that. If we can all do both these things, I personally think we would all be much happier and less stressed out by things like the infraction system.
So - I think effective communication means effectively conveying intended meaning. If it is non personalised with, as mentioned already, softer wording (like the newer version btw), and perhaps simply writing "The thread title wasn't clear enough/capitalised" for example... I see that as short, clear, informational, not personal and in an infraction system that intended it as a reminder... and I would then have no issues at all. Reminded, job done... end of story.
Hopefully this will be taken as intended... by giving my opinion which I have sat, thought about, and balanced with consideration for others perspectives. Diplomacy doesn't come naturally to anyone. But it's essential to everything in any society.
