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Intense therapy tonight EMDR prep

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I've started EMDR. We did a little bit on some more recent, "easier" memories to start out. Now we are doing the prep work for the intense memories to get ready to process them with EMDR. Last week was pretty rough and I was brave enough- and felt comfortable enough with my therapist to say, "I need a break" and then that "I need to stop." Which is a huge positive step for me.

Tonight was worse. I was shaking and disassociated for a bit. It didn't feel like it, but my therapist picked up on it and worked with me to bring me back to the present.

I still have one more area to go over, and It's the worst one. I don't know if I can do it. I know I can't do it the next time we meet. I know I need more time, and I also know that's ok. It's not a race. Realizing that is also a huge positive step for me.

I'm still struggling with the shaking and some anxiety now that I'm home from therapy, but I'm remembering to use my coping tools and they help (breathing, safe place, grounding, etc).

Just writing this out (I guess I just needed to vent and get it out) I'm realizing how grateful I am to have finally found such a good trauma therapist that I can relate to. I never could have done any of this with my previous therapists.
 
My therapist recently suggested I do EMDR. I don't think I'm ready, as much as I want to be. I admire your bravery and strength with this and I hope, as difficult as it is right now, that you ultimately find healing through this.
 
My therapist recently suggested I do EMDR. I don't think I'm ready, as much as I want to be. I admire your bravery and strength with this and I hope, as difficult as it is right now, that you ultimately find healing through this.
Thank you! EMDR was suggested to me over a year ago and I'm just now ready to start. I went through 2 therapists before I found the right one to help me. Looking back I can see that waiting until I was ready was only part of it. Finding the right therapist is vital and ultimately determines if you'll succeed or not. Therapy is a partnership between you and your therapist. We can't do this alone. We weren't meant to and the person who helps us and walks along side us is key to our success. So if you're not ready, then that is absolutely ok. There is no rush. It's not a race and you get to take all the time you need.
 
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