Internet Dating For Ptsd Dummies

[ms spock]

You know I have friends that don't have PTSD that want to join the forum because I've told them about this thread that I started on internet dating and they would absolutely love to share their stories and listen to others!!
Hugs,
Gloria

Dear Gloria,

It just goes to show that some of the issues we are dealing with are just the same as non ptsd people in some ways. That is heartening to know some days.

This is a great thread and I am so pleased you started it. It is full of so much life, love, humour, outrageousness and that spot on gallows humour with those wonderful moments of irony.

ms spock

 

[ms spock]

That can be a problem with the internet. Anyone can be whatever they want behind the screen and no one would ever know.

Dear Sandra,

Also in real life as well! I spoke to my psychriatrist at length about how hard it is to pick psychopaths and sociopaths today in my sesssion. These are clever and tricky people who full many people - at least we have some idea that they exist - people who haven't done the type of work we have done have no idea at all. Poor them.

ms spock

 

[Sandra]

Absolutely Ms Spock. Some people learn how to become a good Jekyl/Hyde actor. And my late husband did exactly that to get what he wanted from me.

 

[pandora]

I laughed at alot of these posts...actually one of the original posts that listed what PTSD is like...can you imagine if that was actually on our profile?

I wonder who would pick me up....I don't hardly sleep through the night, sometimes i cry and choke in my sleep, I shake when I get nervous, I avoid most people from my past as there is a film playing over and over in my head about repeated traumas, I tend to isolate and actually prefer being alone most times, I haven't been able to work in 8 years, I get angry easily, i have to say the words..calm and relax over and over in my own head just to get through most days........blah, blah...now you all get the idea. i know this is all the negative but i just thought this thread was funny. I have a lot of positive things to say about myself as well....I typed this mainly as a joke....even though i know it is not funny....but true.

I will tell you guys my story of internet dating.....I met someone that I was drawn to his picture, his profile did not actually reveal a whole lot at all. Then we started talking and sharing personal things...after getting to know one another for a bit. Well....I revealed my entire name. He had to call a sister and ask her....turns out.....HE IS MY FRIGGING SECOND COUSIN....Sooooooooooo how much did this suck???? Anyway it turns out my grandmother and his mother are sisters....he is my fathers cousin. NICE!!! OMG!!!!! It is a year later..it is not illegal, I am dating my cousin!!!! We did not grow up together and there was a couple of huge family feuds so we never got to know one another and my father died when i was 14 so I did not really grow up knowing my fathers family.......

I bet that is one of the most messed up internet dating stories you have ever read!!!!

 

[Gloria]

Pandora,

I didn't think what you wrote was negative at all! Okay, PTSD is not a walk in the park but neither is an alcoholic or bi-polar person. Do they put that in their profiles? Heck, no!! I think it's perfectly fine to date a cousin. I have known many married couples who are married to their second cousins. My ex was Jewish and they have this thing that you can only marry in this very elite and wealthy group of Jewish people. So my ex's cousins were married to their second cousins. The only thing I would worry about is genetics if you decide to marry and have children?

I met men on the internet that were art collectors (had one print of a somewhat well known local artist). One guy told me that he got an Associates degree in a some weird subject but my son got his bachelors from that university and they don't offer associate degrees. Oh, or they state their real age - 50's but they have their HIGH SCHOOL picture on the internet. Still looks the same??? Ya think?? The scariest thing I heard that lesbians or gay men pretend to be the opposite sex so they can flirt with someone. So I might I'm going to meet the man of my dreams (why he seems so sensitive and really understands women??) and it turned out to be a woman.

Thanks for sharing! I get a kick out of this.
Hugs,
Gloria

 

[pandora]

I will be forty this year and he is forty-five....NO kids here....that was what I thought too....

 

[Gloria]

I will be forty this year and he is forty-five....NO kids here....that was what I thought too....

I say go for it girlfriend!! You know my family is from Europe and the "upper class" frequently married cousins. My true love is a Cuban with African features. Thirty years ago, society made it very hard on us. I couldn't travel in the southern parts of the U.S. with him because it was dangerous. People would get so angry. Now thirty years later, we both realize that we could have a great life together so please don't let something like that discourage you. Just by what your written, I've got a good feeling about this one!!

 

[pandora]

Thanx Gloria....me too! Society really is not the problem for me...I don't care what others think at this point as long as I am happy that is what matters. My mother on the other hand..a year later she wants to kill me and him. My relationship with my mother has always been up and down and she can be very abusive....I can see the future with us having no relationship at all because I want to be with him but at this point I think that is the best. We just had thanksgiving with his family and it was nice to feel like a part of the family...lol, in more ways than one. His family at least treat me with respect, some might think it is a bit weird but they are not being mean ....not like my mother. Anyway...sorry I guess I needed to vent and took over the thread a bit!

 

[Gloria]

Pandora,

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life but at the age of sixteen, I moved out of my family's home and never went to Christmas and birthday parties unless it was for my sister and none of my family was invited. I swear that it is the reason that my therapist says I am the most rational patient she has :eek: I know I would be like if I stayed stuck in a dysfunctional. For one thing, they are all fall down drunks and I don't drink. I don't need to drink because those psychos are out of my life.

Do keep us posted! I hope you get married or move in! That would be a happy ending!!

 

[ms spock]

I wish I didn't worry about what society thinks of me. I aim to one day not care what others think at this point as long as I am happy and really feel that is what matters.

I hope you don't think this is mean pandora but I hope you terminate your abusive relationship with your mother. She doesn't deserve someone as precious and insightful as you. How dare she treat you like that!

I am so glad that you got to be a part of a nicer family that treated you with respect. That must have been a novel experience.

ms spock

 

[ms spock]

I'm totally in love with this foreigner who is much younger than me but has such a cute accent. But can we PTSD sufferers handle having a sexual fling without freaking out?

I don't know. I just want hugs and cuddles. I want someone to snuggle up with.

As I typed before I am the tragic one that has the hots for the guy who is before me when I go to see my psychiatrist.
I wouldn't mind having sex with him. He really does it for me! :D

He is a cutie though. So we have a 2 minute conversation once a week. Probably best to leave it at that.

A couple of times I have been late and I have only had 15 - 30 seconds - the last couple of times. One time I was arriving as he was leaving and his face lit up. I was really chuffed!

He is so HOT though.

Yes I will put on "I am tragically and incredibly lame." T-Shirt.

Okay what would be the etiquette for situation like this? Ask him for a date? Not ask him for a date?
Unfortunately only 52% of me is joking.

OMG! Any way thinking about him with his cuddliness is a nice change.

Thinking about him and his sexiness is a nice change.

And let us face people on the internet and in real life can always lie and bambozel us - wherever you meet people you have to keep an eye on whether they are trustworthy or not by seeing their actions over time.

ms spock

 

[ms spock]

Pandora,
I moved out of my family's home and never went to Christmas and birthday parties unless it was for my sister and none of my family was invited.

That is really impressive Gloria,
ms spock