Internet Dating For Ptsd Dummies

[john1963]

I just met someone on the internet who had a wife who was in mental hospitals for 25 years. (I was elated since I thought he would think I was a walk in the park!) But she did have a child 25 years ago but went into a mental hospital for a year after giving birth. Whether it's nature or nurture, his son is living in a halfway house and is mentally ill.

Relationships, whether you are seriously involved (married) or not are tough. Add alcohol, PTSD, interfering in-laws and dsyfunctional children and it's really tough. Sometimes, on a Saturday night when I have a bowl of popcorn and am watching some old classic movies (with no one talking and asking me what is going on and who the actor is) I like it a lot. Especially in the winter when I don't get dragged out in some skimpy and sexy little outfit to freeze my butt just to have a date.

Hugs all. Oh please share more of your stories!!!
Gloria

Gloria it's what we attract, and then what we are attracted too. You could say or pickers are off, or the calibration of of pickers are way out of wack.

The women that i have attracted had more issues than i did. LOL funny i was hoping for Peter Pan Tinkerbell, and i was getting the Bonny and Clyde crazy chicks.

So that's way i got the puppy, isn't she a cutey , but the hair OMG the hair LOL

 

[Gloria]

I had a friend stay the weekend with me and I showed her pictures of my ex's and the men I met on line. The chances of meeting and getting involved with the people I was involved with against all probability. For example, three of my ex's only had one testicle and didn't like sex. Now what are the odds of that??? :rolleyes: Anyway, I'm going through a tough time for a little while and have decided to date a man that doesn't fit the requirements that I have on the internet, - no drinking, smoking. But for goodness sake, he's a great guy and the internet is dangerous for me. I'm taking my profiles down and talked to almost ten friends in the last months who gave up on internet dating after telling me horrow stories (and they don't have PTSD or trust issues - well not until they met some winners on the internet).

I dread opening my e-mails in the morning and seeing pictures of my matches. It makes me want to slit my wrists (just kidding). If this is what I have to look forward to, I don't want to deal with it. So instead, my son (who is very over protective due to the terrible trauma and lawsuit that was caused by my ex three years ago is really angry because he wants me to meet the perfect guy, healthy and rich and treats me like a queen. Well, this guy thinks I'm absolutely beautiful and treats me very well. One out of three is okay with me. I don't bug him about the women he dates and he has to stop interfering. Besides he picked the last guy off the internet for me and his handle was "I got a big one". I don''t think I want him choosing my next mate. I love my son dearly but i have no idea what he thinks I am looking for.

 

[mamachick]

Oh can I relate to this Gloria. Not internet dating, but my daughter wanting to chose who I date. I dont date much so its ok at the moment. When I have been dating someone for awhile and she does not approve-she made life miserable. Her attitude is that I can do what I want but she refused to speak to them when they were around. She has made them so uncomfortable and insecure that it made me second guess (in the end) whether they were born a holes or if she provoked it in them.

Now that I have not dated in a year, she will comment that she likes someone and I should go out with them. Forget It! Sometimes I think she says that because she senses there is absolutely no interest. The last one that she mentioned just a couple of weeks ago is obsessed with snake watching (not my idea of a vacation), or even a good conversation.
My daughter is grown. Maybe when I move about 500 miles away I will regain interest in dating. Right now, I have none. I fear part of my lack of desire is being conditioned by my daughter. If I did like someone -I need to see their faults, not have my daughter harrass me about them.

 

[Gloria]

I feel like a whore in a way but I agreed to date this guy if he will help me work on my farm. My son is disabled and my other son is a student teacher, taking five classes and working full-time. The police screwed up my right shoulder and I can't start my chain saw or weed wacker. So here I am, little Ms.Prostitute bartering her affections for help on the farm. This guy is off all next week and he has done this for years. Sometimes I think I am so pathetic because I put up with stuff because I am lonely but I am telling you that I didn't have sex with men and have gotten a new high quality furnace installed for free, free air conditioner installed, new tires for my car - free and great deals when I buy stuff from garage sales. I talked with a male friend and asked him why? I didn't even have sex with these guys but they went to great lengths to help me and they aren't the benevolent type. He told me I was a hottie and that's how guys are. Whatever!

I actually have not cuddled for years. This guy said that all he wanted to do is watch old movies with me and the fireworks on the river (you can see them from my bedroom). I have an awesome farm, right on a river and surrounded by forest. It's so nice to look out at my horses racing around and see eagles and deer and foxes out my bedroom window.

But I really told my son to butt out. I told him that I needed help around the farm and that I was very lonely. I told him if he gives me any crap about this guy, I am going to get on his case about every night that he doesn't come home and make him bring all the girls he dates to meet me. He's 28 so I know he has sex with women and I never ask. I taught him when he was a teenager about safe sex and he says he always uses a condom. I kiddingly asked him not to use a condom because I want a grandchild even if it is illigitimate but he rolled his eyes and told me that it wasn't going to happen. He doesn't trust women. He's really nice looking and will have a high paying job soon. Women have been trapping men with getting pregnant for centuries and I know my son always uses a condom.

People put down prostitutes. I don't judge them. How many women have married men for money and security? How many of my girlfriends will sleep with a guy if they them to Red Lobster for dinner? They are doing it for $40???

I have read a lot of books and sex and power are closely related. I've been married to very rich and famous men. Women are attracted to them like flies. That's why I want a man that isn't too great looking and doesn't have a big ego because that's why my marriages failed. I know for a fact the bigger a man's ego, the easier it is to seduce them.

Oh well, busy weekend. 4th of July and my horses go crazy when they shoot off those fireworks.

 

[ISupportHer]

Some of the comments here are amusing

OK, I am married and not looking but.......

"56 yo male, seeking attractive woman than otherwise would not give him the time of day".

On another funny note, in my ER work a drunk once told me he goes to Alcoholics Anonymous, but his reason was "to meet women".

Or the guy who was intoxicated and trying to pick up women but he had a catheter in! What the hell was he planning on doing? On second thought, don't answer that!

ISH

 

[ISupportHer]

. For example, three of my ex's only had one testicle and didn't like sex. Now what are the odds of that??? .

3 to 6?

OK, I am going away now.

ISH

(Sorry, I read things and responses just pop into my head)

<edited Nicolette: fixed quote>

 

[Gloria]

3 to 6?
Sorry, I read things and responses just pop into my head)

Well, I guess compared to a lot of my friends it really isn't that bad. They have been with (I am guessing from what they have told me over the years about three men a year for 10-20 years. I don't get around that much but when I do I find men with one testicle.:eek:

<edited Nicolette: fixed quote>

 

[ISupportHer]

I don't get around that much but when I do I find men with one testicle.:eek:

So that begs the question, will you be checking that first from now on?

:roflmao:

ISH

<edited Nicolette: fixed quote & no need to quote entire post directly preceding post>

 

[mamachick]

Well I never met one of those, but Im sure there are plenty. Chances are, some woman that discovered he was a jack ass has gotten really angry along the way, and lets face it-maybe theres more Bobbits than I am aware of.

I dont judge prostitutes either. I have a similiar problem with needing help and have physically harmed myself trying to keep up property and not wanting any of this kind of help anymore. I have also accepted help from men I dated and then when I should have had the sense to end it, stayed in part because of how they helped. That decision has cost me dearly. I just dont think it is worth it.
For me-property is not worth self injury and slavery. Property is not worth having to have a man to help with it and then putting up with his bs when I discover he is just a jack ass. It would be great to have a wonderful man that I shared this stuff with, but the reality is that I do not. For me, this is damaging to my self worth. Im selling the farm.

 

[Sqweak]

Aw your perspectives on this subject are so interesting! I personally prefer to date online then Bar hop and scout books stores or walk in to a treatment center and hope I strike it lucky with a decently healthy person. I mean currently I’m not dating period but when I was; I prefer online dating compared to anything else. I like having a profile and sifting through all the jackasses. It's better then having your friends set you up and suffer through an entire dinner with someone I have to be nice to because they're a friend of a friend of my grandmothers daughters-son's baby mamas dog walker. I would much rather instantly delete you. Block you, and start over(Ah, technology). As far as profiles are concerned If I think you can normally tell when you're getting a load of BS all it takes is a keen eye for BS and little bit of common sense (and that goes for everybody).

In my experiences I have a very "particular" taste in partners which cuts my pool of crazy by 2/3 so I don't ever feel like I’m dealing with as much as some people do when they date online. It’s not for everybody and I wouldn't suggest it to everyone. In my experiences you just have to know what your looking for and do you’re best to find it.

 

[mamachick]

Some of the comments here are amusing

OK, I am married and not looking but.......

"56 yo male, seeking attractive woman than otherwise would not give him the time of day".

On another funny note, in my ER work a drunk once told me he goes to Alcoholics Anonymous, but his reason was "to meet women".

Or the guy who was intoxicated and trying to pick up women but he had a catheter in! What the hell was he planning on doing? On second thought, don't answer that.

Isnt that called doing the 13th step.......

 

[Gloria]

I always joke with my friends that before I ask a cute guy his name or if he is married, I ask him if he has two testicles. I don't really but I may stare at his crotch making sure that there seems to a sufficient bulge. LOL!! :laugh: