Internet Dating For Ptsd Dummies

[Gloria]

When I was workin I cg in a huge corporation, there was a man that was a real jerk to put it politely. His name Richard Small. When I was behind him at the lunch counter, the cashier said "Good morning, Dick!". Well, then everything became clear to me. The poor man had gone through life with the name Small, Dick. Okay, I'm sorry. I digress but I have known people with terrible names. In the old days, I was a receptionist at the front desk and had to page people to pick up the phone. The men loved to play pranks on me and since it was mostly foreign names that I could hardly prounounce, I was an easy target. I paged. "Iwanna Dick", "Master Bates", and on and on. They always disguised their voices to sound like foreigners so one day I decided to tell the person asking me to page that I just wasn't going to play their game. He was a high level executive from Iran and the company was building a university under his direction. I got in trouble because the name was legitimate and so was he. I got in trouble but a memo went out warning that this paging prank better stop. I guess guys just want to have fun.

I end up marrying too many men. I don't even want to talk about it but there have been men that I would date because if I married them, I just didn't want their last name. I did marry a man whose last name was Smart. All my male peers used to call me by my last name until I got the last name Smart and then would only refer to me by my first name.:cautious:

 

[Loloma]

(((Gloria)))

I love it, had a good laugh. See's it not all bad, and you can learn a lot about what to do and not to do in life.

I've been in too many relationships too, and married twice. Nothing worked out so I'm taking a break for now to look after me. At the moment I've had it with men. Pets are easier and require less work. :laugh:

 

[mamachick]

Amen to that!

 

[shadowchaser]

Wow I might have a success story. I've been talking to a guy online for a while. He always seems sweet and understanding. One day he triggered me and I flipped out. I reminded him of my challenge. I told him I can't move that fast. That if that type of relationship is what he wants than it's not me. It took him a couple days to reply. He told me he thought on it and he would rather be with me with my flaws than without.

I'm surprised and shocked but there does seam to be some decent guys out there. One's who are willing to look past the quirks to the person hiding under. I want to say don't give up. I almost did. But I'm so happy now that I didn't.

 

[Gloria]

Honestly, I don't hate the guys that are deceptive. I am neutral but I do see them for who they are. I am dating someone who I didn't meet on internet dating site but he found me because of internet connections. Nobody is perfect and certainly not me and this guy is decent and I like him and love having sex with him!:p
I sleep with four dogs and a cat. I live on a farm and cannot be away more than a few hours unless I have someone to cover for me because the animals need constant care. I am writing a book and have dedicated the next year to learning to think of myself as a nice person who is also smart, etc. I can't get too involved because I need to work on myself.

I love your dog, Shadowchaser. He/she has the same short little nose like Brandy (my Cavalier King Charles) in my avatar.

Hugs,
Gloria

 

[No-Twitch-Tabitha]

My last "relationship" (or whatever it was - he wouldn't clarify and kept confusing me even after I told him so) was online with some texting and phoning. Dishonesty and confusion from his direction - it has left me unwilling to open up again. And I'm already generally disinterested in that sort of thing.

After that debacle, I became curious about dating sites. Ugh - I apparently attract creepy guys. After a couple of interactions, I got the hell out of dodge.

 

[Saphy]

I can definitely say that some online dating things I've done have solely been for self-destruction, I mean the internet is full of sex-crazed guys...it's a never-ending supply. (Disclaimer: There are 1000000s of creepers online! Be careful.) So I did what I could to cope with my PTSD and started to date multiples of guys online and then the minute they brought up sex I would throw them out in the trash and treat them like dogs. I can say that it made me feel good in a perversely sick way, but there was one guy there who never brought up sex in a way that made me uncomfortable. In fact, it's the only reason why I think that online dating might be okay for someone with PTSD because there are people out there. I met my best friend online and we dated for six very long but happy years. We recently broke up when the relationship became "real" and I met him. I felt that after a year or so of having known him in person we had gotten a bit TOO close and I needed him to step back a little (he asked me to move in and instead of telling him I wasn't ready or I was scared, I said I didn't trust him near my college guy friends since he tended to be a bit possessive). But I think it's fair to say that anyone in a steady relationship that's getting serious can back away nervously regardless of PTSD. Anyways, he helped me a great deal with my PTSD healing and our relationship wasn't a bitter one nor one where sex was even brought up in the six years of dating. There are some guys out there who just AREN'T looking for sex, even online, take a chance but be careful. So I say, use the internet wisely and who knows you might find your soul mate.

That's just my experience though, what was yours?

 

[Sandra]

I was watching a show on tv the other night. This man was going to meet someone he met online. I guess he wasn't thinking when he agreed to meet someone in a garage that backed onto an alley. And it was a male not a female like he thought it was going to be. Then he got beat up but was able to get away.

This goes for anyone wanting to meet someone from the net is ALWAYS meet a person a public place.

 

[ms spock]

This goes for anyone wanting to meet someone from the net is ALWAYS meet a person a public place.

And for me, that includes all my family as well! (As in meeting them, not dating them - you know what I mean!)

 

[No-Twitch-Tabitha]

Hehe...:whistling:

 

[No-Twitch-Tabitha]

I can definitely say that some online dating things I've done have solely been for self-destruction, I mean the internet is full of sex-crazed guys...it's a never-ending supply. (Disclaimer: There are 1000000s of creepers online! Be careful.) So I did what I could to cope with my PTSD and started to date multiples of guys online and then the minute they brought up sex I would throw them out in the trash and treat them like dogs. I can say that it made me feel good in a perversely sick way, but there was one guy there who never brought up sex in a way that made me uncomfortable. In fact, it's the only reason why I think that online dating might be okay for someone with PTSD because there are people out there. I met my best friend online and we dated for six very long but happy years. We recently broke up when the relationship became "real" and I met him. I felt that after a year or so of having known him in person we had gotten a bit TOO close and I needed him to step back a little (he asked me to move in and instead of telling him I wasn't ready or I was scared, I said I didn't trust him near my college guy friends since he tended to be a bit possessive). But I think it's fair to say that anyone in a steady relationship that's getting serious can back away nervously regardless of PTSD. Anyways, he helped me a great deal with my PTSD healing and our relationship wasn't a bitter one nor one where sex was even brought up in the six years of dating. There are some guys out there who just AREN'T looking for sex, even online, take a chance but be careful. So I say, use the internet wisely and who knows you might find your soul mate.

That's just my experience though, what was yours?

So it isn't just me wondering about the sex-crazed guys. Whatever happened to getting to know someone before jumping into bed? This from a post-"sexual revolution" kid, yes.

Long story short: he was still married but was "in the process of divorcing" her when we started corresponding. A bit of time after the divorce was supposedly final, he moved back in with her and she insisted that she wanted to remarry. He was also verbally abusive whenever it suited him. There was other drama, but I don't want to get into all that. I finally had enough, ended it, and cut off all contact.

 

[Sandra]

And for me, that includes all my family as well! (As in meeting them, not dating them - you know what I mean!)

I know exactly what you mean. Because we both now how little or no respect we will not get from them. And some family members are known to lie, cheat, steal etc etc.