Intro: It's Been A Long Time.

[millicentcat]

I was diagnosed with PTSD about 10 years ago. Even though that's a long time ago, I've still been in denial about the PTSD, thinking that I'm OK and doing just fine. But I'm really not. Recently, over the past year or so, I've been having extreme emotional flashbacks triggered by very specific things. Prior to that, and during the past year, I've been super hypervigilent, fearful, anxious, and having, what someone somewhere on this site called "flashforwards" (where events that haven't happened, but could have happened, play out visually in your mind's eye).

Last night, I had a very intense emotional flashback - I was anxious, to the point of getting sick and thinking I was going to throw up, scared, and then angry, but a kind of anger that was mixed with a very intense feeling of helplessness, and I was shaking - sometimes just shivering and shaking. I felt like nothing was in my control. I felt like I couldn't make sense of reality - I didn't know which fears and feelings reflected something real (i.e. currently legit in my life) and which didn't. It was very confusing.

I'm glad this site is here. I've felt alone for a long long time.

 

[amethist]

Hi Millicentcat

Welcome to the forum.

10 years is a long time to suffer alone with ptsd. You will hopefully not feel that way for much longer, now you are here you will find a lot of support and understanding.

Take some time to have a good look round the forum, you will find loads of useful information, as well as seeing how friendly everyone is.

Take care and good luck.

Amethist

 

[FightingLily]

Millicentcat,
Welcome to the forum. Yes, I've been there. Most of us have. I am glad you found this site as well. It is terrible to feel alone. Just remember that you aren't alone----we are here for support--for ourselves and to support others. I found this site 2 years ago and just recently came back due to a "flare up" of symptoms. So I suppose we will be seeing alot of each other here, eh? Again, welcome.
FL

 

[millicentcat]

Thank you for the welcome. I really needed it.

 

[Manic11]

Welcome to the forum, millicentcat.

I was diagnosed with PTSD about 10 years ago. Even though that's a long time ago, I've still been in denial about the PTSD...

Good for you for making this step to getting help. Ten years or sixty years... Denial is sometimes too easy. I hope that, in your time, you can share your story with us and find the answers you need.
You are not alone here.
I wish you the best of luck along your healing journey.

Take care.
Manic