Introducing Myself And Story: Brain Cancer Survivor

[Grubby]

Hello, I am Zach and I am 18 years old. 2 years ago I suffered a traumatic experience that changed me completlely. I had brain cancer, and now it seems my friends are tired of seeing me sad and not having fun. They think I am a downer and think that I should not be sad anymore. But it is really hard for me to have fun when I am still having troubles. But I feel that they are not my friends anymore, they simply don't understand. Hell I don't even understand why I have the problems I do. I have a hard time thinking of things to say in social situations now and that triggers emotions, and then everything gets out of wack. I just want to know what i should do. Maybe I should just give it time and try to talk to them again one day when all this is behind me. Or maybe never again.

 

[amethist]

Hi Grubby

Welcome to the forum.

Unfortunately this happens a lot with friends, you will find many members on here with the same issue. Sometimes if you cannot help them to understand, you just have to let them go. My husband has had to do this with friends he has had for 20 years and longer, it is not easy but better than trying to explain everything time and time again, making yourself more anxious everytime this happens.

It is not healthy for you, when you are trying your best to understand it all and keep going with everything else involved with PTSD. Everyone on here does understand and will offer help, advice and support as you move forward with your recovery.

Take care and good luck.

 

[Samuel]

Hi,

I have a similar problem, I lost every friend - literally. Some didn't know how to help, some I can't relate to anymore and its frustrating not having anyone to talk who understands. You have inspired me to talk a bit about my trauma. I was on the opposite side of your experience. I knew someone who had a head injury watched him change completely. It has shaped my life until this moment and replaced the memories I had before. I wont go into the specific details of my trauma and where it comes from relating to this head injury. But I live with this person everyday now. I have watched all his friends drop away, loose interest. The personality changes were the key and the struggle with socializing.

I have tried to gain knowledge in this area to understand more fully - so much so that I have shaped my career around it. Im currently studying psychology and neuroplasticity. This is what has and still is occurring to the person I know as well. (PLEASE NOTE IM NOT FULL TRAINED - the following are just from my studies and experience) When the brain is injured it finds and creates new pathways to achieve certain outcomes. It is such a new field of study that there really hasn't been all that much research completed in the field.

There is a strong correlation with age though - infants and young adults have the greatest potential for plasticity to occur. The cause as to why age effects this is still unknown. The person I know with the head injury was 19 at the time. He still has trouble socially but as an outsider I can see the improvement still occuring 2and a half years down the track. He is finding that the most difficult thing is that he can't track the progress because he is living it. So for him - he doesn't know if he is acting "normally" for lack of a better word.

Since the "event" occurred he has lost several friends but he placed him self purposefully in social situations to get better at it and gain new friends and support networks.

I hope this story is useful and inspires you. Welcome to the forum. I hope you continue to use this site! You are not alone. Good luck with your journey.

Samuel