Introductions

[Lonelyone]

Hello, I've been reading the forums bit have never posted until now. I have PTSD (probably cptsd) from childhood traumas. I've had it since I was old enough to remember. I finally asked for help by going to therapy about a year and a half ago. No one in my family, including my closest friends know that I am in therapy which makes this process much harder...so much so that I want to give up and retreat into a black hole that my mind has created. My therapist suggested group therapy in order for me to feel less alone and help me form a 'real' relationship...I guess this was my idea of it.

I sometimes wonder if my past is real or if I am just making all this up...feels like my mind is playing tricks on me.

 

[anthony]

If you have PTSD, probably CPTSD, then I somehow doubt your mind is playing any tricks.

Welcome to the forum.

Group therapy can be very rewarding... especially things along the lines of the anonymous type groups, where you are not forced into anything, but can listen and share when ready.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Hi Lonelyone,

Welcome to the Forum!
Congratulations on writing your first post!

I'm glad to see you, and will look forward to reading your posts. I understand your lonliness with PTSD. Many of the members here have close friends or family either not knowing we have PTSD, or if they do, not "getting it" or understanding it.

If someone has a cast on, that's a visible - easily identifiable wound. With PTSD, it's a bit too cumbersome to put a cast on your head and heart :) .

Relationships, friendships form here that are very real, very supportive and healing. This is a wonderful place to be, and I hope you soon feel very much at home.

Welcome, Lonelyone,
Warmly,
Deer

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Lonelyone, I am so pleased you found this site.

It is so hard going through this on your own. But hey, guess what, you are no longer alone. If you will let me, I'll be here for you, as will others.

Take your time looking around.

Deer said

Relationships, friendships form here that are very real, very supportive and healing. This is a wonderful place to be, and I hope you soon feel very much at home.

This is so true, I feel it is my community of friends, we watch out for one another, support the bad days and help celebrate the good days.

(((HUGS))) if you will accept them
KP

 

[1966]

Hi Lonelyone,
Welcome to the forum. This is a great site for information, care and support. As Deer says, relationships and friendships form here, and in the 2 months I've been a member here I've made some fantastic supportive friends.
So a very very warm welcome to you.
Take care, Sean

 

[suzie q]

Hello Lonelyone!

Welcome to the forum and know that you are safe here and don't have to stay lonely.
What you said about not knowing if what you remembered was real or just made up...it doesn't matter because what you experienced is what you experienced. Your memories are real and you should process them to understand how to cope. Never question your perspective on your memories. They (memories) will answer your questions when you work through them in therapy.

Group therapy...my therapist told me that group would be good and I fought her for years. I hated people, especially women, and felt unsafe and panicked when I thought of attending. The group was women with a history like mine and only 5 of us would be there. I finally gave in after one of my mental attacks that kept me isolated and depressed. I am so glad I went..the support and understanding was incredible, the safety factor was high, and I learned not to hate all women, just the catty ones! LOL! Give group a try..you only have to share what you want to share, if anything.
best of luck...suzie q

 

[Lonelyone]

Thank you for all the warm responses...I guess I didn't expect that...then again I never do. I feel a little less alone having found this place. I will think about the group therapy a little more...I am already seeing my therapist twice a week so I dunno if I can take a third.

My emotions feel like a roller coaster ride right now which I can't seem to get off of...is that a sign of the PTSD? I keep having to put on a "happy" face in order to fit in with the rest of society...maybe here I won't have to.

 

[Darkness Shines]

Relationships, friendships form here that are very real, very supportive and healing.

Yes, they definitely do. I'm extroverted and always make 'friends' (acquaintances) easily, but I've made real friends here. People who know all the dark places that are inside me and for some strange reason still want to talk with me. Pretty cool.

Thank you for all the warm responses...I guess I didn't expect that...then again I never do.

I never expect it either. Still waiting for everyone to realize what I really am and kick me off the forum, lol.

My emotions feel like a roller coaster ride right now which I can't seem to get off of...is that a sign of the PTSD? I keep having to put on a "happy" face in order to fit in with the rest of society...maybe here I won't have to.

Yes, the roller coaster is very typical of PTSD. And you'll never have to put on a happy face here.

Welcome!