Intrusive Thoughts, Maybe?

[driftaway]

Sooo...
Lately I keep thinking to myself, mostly out of nowhere but usually when I'm having a bad day, "I want to kill myself". These thoughts usually come in conjunction with thoughts like " I want my mommy" (haven't had a relationship with my mom in years..arguably since I was a kid). My trauma happened at age 5 and shortly after I told my mom I wanted to kill myself. So is this a type of flashback or is it intrusive thoughts? Sometimes they're so intense I actually become suicidal and obsessively think about it, bu this hasn't happened in the recent past. Yes, I do feel like I can be safe. Does anyone else experience this? Do you think it's flashbacks?

 

[joeylittle]

is it intrusive thoughts?

That's what it makes me think of. There are some very specific thoughts that I know are linked directly to my trauma, and relate to death. When they come up, its unexpected, takes up my mental focus, and they can be hard to shake. That's my personal understanding of intrusive thought.

I do find when I can shut them down quickly that the aftereffects aren't as bad, but I don't really know what sets them off to begin with. I'm sorry you're having those.