Intrusive Thoughts Of Horrible Images?

[cupfish]

I realized I cannot deal, at all, with anything relating to animal cruelty because like my experiences as a child, animals have no voice and are victimized. This came to light when I recognized that numerous times every day I have images of mutilated animals flash in my mind. I see a puppy, and immediately imagine it dead from abuse.

Anyone else experience repeated intrusive and horrible pictures in your mind during the day?

 

[Schubert]

Yes. I have the exact same thing : (

 

[cupfish]

Sometimes the images are of other horrible things, not just animals. As if we don't have enough terrible memories!

 

[Schubert]

Yes. I have never discussed this with anyone - afraid of making it worse, afraid of the words I'd have to use to describe the images in any detail, afraid to be seen as crazy.

I am so sorry you have this too, and at the same time I feel sort of less alone, as often happens on here. Perhaps I will be able to tell my psychologist now that I've said it here.

 

[cupfish]

I totally get it. You sound like a nut but it's clearly just another way for your trauma to leak out. Our minds are telling us to PAY ATTENTION because there are threats out there, dammit. For me, because there are no real and current threats so with the horrible images I try to uses this as a mechanism to expel more pain and suffering through an alternate exit door. Try and turn it into something that is a moral tenet for you -- "I am 100% anti cruelty to animals. I reject abuse of the innocents and will do what I can to end animal cruelty." This turns your weakness into a strength, just a little bit. Thing is, PTSD sufferers make incredible activists because we are completely aware of what abuse does in any form and we can be righteous. Tell your therapist. Mine was kind of startled, but since it's so clear that hurt puppy = me as a child it's easy to tie the images to our disease. Your job is to turn it into a STRENGTH. Make any sense?

 

[munkinmama]

I seem to think the worse is going to happen. I often find myself thinking horrible and twisted things are happening. I hate myself when I start to think such dark thoughts.

 

[Schubert]

Cupfish - yes, I think I see what you mean. I could never be directly involved as an animal rights activist, however, because that means being exposed to horrible stories, pictures etc. I could never handle that! I avoid newspapers, TV etc for the same reason. I have become a vegetarian, however, that helps a bit.

 

[cupfish]

I try to use the images as a test to see how aware I am of my thoughts. Instead of immediately panicking when one of those horrible animal cruelty prevention ads comes on television I slowly identified that these bothered me because I was "flashing" in my mind on mutilated animals. Then I started to pay attention to the pattern and bingo! I realized I created these images in my mind many times every day. From there I started to ask what they meant, and clearly these are expressions of childhood trauma, with me as the wounded and unprotected creature. Although enduring the images remains yet another way that my life is not like other people's I can at least see the pattern and place it in its proper place in my diagnosis and every day behaviors. When I am struggling and having a hard time with this disorder I tend to identify with the peace that comes from death to the creature. When I am thinking more positively I use the experience to try and manage my PTSD proactively. Have any of you actually talked to others about these "visions?"

 

[Go Hungry]

I had this same sort of problem as a child. I would have these horrible images spring into my mind out of nowhere, of torn bodies and maimed people. I was so little that I barely had words for what I was seeing in my mind. And wow.. this was way before I was 9.. this was.. It was before the age at which I think my PTSD began.. I wonder what that means.

It's been a long time since that happened, either that or I've watched so many horror movies that I'm inured to it now (likely the later) and I don't really think about it anymore. It's just a fleeting thought through my head. Like you though, I can't stand the idea of injury to an animal. Which is strange considering that I'm quite the carnivore. But anyways, I stay away from footage of real life horrors as much as I can. I have such a fear of dead people that I can hardly attend funerals. Though oddly I love graveyards.. I'm all over the place really.

Anyways, you're not at all alone. :hug:

 

[joeylittle]

I try and take the image, freeze it, push it away so it gets smaller, and then imagine a door, open it, put the image on the other side, slam the door shut.

I was never one for that kind of visualization work, but I do get horrible pictures in my head very easily now. Turning it into a "picture", shrinking it, tossing it into a locked room: this helps me enormously.

I think most important is to not ruminate on the horrible images. Controlling it is a good first step. Talking about it gets saved for therapy. Anyway, that's my experience.

 

[Privateer]

I have this problem sometimes with my daughter. I think it comes from dealing with incidents involving children at work. It's very unsettling.

 

[greycrayon]

I've had images of animals ripping each other apart