Intrusive Thoughts: Symptom or Attachment/Habit???

[cragger65]

Irton, it is encouraging that CBT works for you, I have just tried doing a sheet myself. There are things that it works for if I'm diligent, and there are others that it only leads to a hard place. I guess those are the parts we have to accept as is, and acknowledge our part. A difference of a few degrees in the level of harshness in my self-judgement can be a relief, and I am glad for that. Worth working for.

 

[Katja]

Hi Dave,

It is a very interesting question you are posing. I have my whole grown up life been addicted to self help books and courses....fixing something in me that is not right..well...when I was diagnosed with PTSD it all made sense what really was going on with me inside and I am trying to do less fixing yet I do believe in that we create our thoughts...or at least we have a choice what emotion that comes after it...but when it comes to intruding trauma memories it does not feel like a choice...just like when it happened. Sometimes I visit thoughts because if I feel too happy I think it is not possible that all this bad stuff was going on in my life during my childhood...so that becomes a catch 22 and a type of self torture...but the biggest gift we can give ourselves is to live out loud a very happy life despite what awful things happened....and fight back in strength as survivors!! gosh! It is like a mind switch going from survivor or victim but from now on I will try to choice my thought and think...wow I must be really strong to have experienced that sh-t instead of feeling inadequate and shameful.
Thank u everyone. It feels really good to hear from everybody and feel like I can relate sooo much finally...I have found a safe place to share my inner feelings.

 

[cec]

Hi [DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/members/cragger65.html"]cragger65[/DLMURL],

Just a thought, but often those who say we can choose our thoughts and memories are also saying we are in control of them. Try to forget something you remember--it's impossible. In some ways, having control over our thoughts is like avoidance for one can avoid a painful feeling through distraction, but distraction does not remove the painful feeling. It just gives the illusion that we are in control. I suspect thoughts are similar. (I'm not saying distraction is not useful, it can be a life saver).

This person who told you this would have to also believe that those who can't control their thoughts are in some way defective. As a result, when we experience intrusive thoughts and memories we can then only criticise and judge ourselves.

I can see, however, where this person gets this idea from because many therapies teach this, however, many other therapies teach the opposite, e.g., Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, psychotherapy etc. So it's understandable that you're unsure about this as the world of therapy does not agree on this issue. CBT teaches that feelings/behaviour follow thoughts so change the thoughts and the feeling/behaviour will change. But, this too can give the illusion of control. CBT helps us to focus on alternative thoughts through asking ourselves questions, a refocusing to help us see a different way of viewing something. It doesn't ask us to stop/control a thought.

I hope I'm not being too "in my head," for I know your talking about something very painful.

All the best,

cec

 

[cragger65]

Cec, that's an excellent point about CBT, that it's not "changing" a thought, but exploring alternatives. That's a little more realistic to achieve. I'm still honing my understanding of these things.

thanks,
Dave