Invalidation

[ILoveLife]

You're right, it's denial. It's a consequence of invalidation from others.

But thank you.

 

[The Albatross]

K, so with respect to cognitive distortions are you meaning: Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. or maybe: Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for. (???)

Doubtless, the messaging you received from others and then took over for yourself in the form of repetitive compulsive thoughts are an issue. But if you can identify the cognitive distortion we can help you more with how to cope and deal with them k?
There's others but they are offshoots of a core 10 the list is here: 10 primary cognitive distortions (negative thinking styles)

May be a core belief as well, but I can't really decipher it from what you've shared so far to be able to figure that.

It is a moment of clarity for you however, and if you can clarify it and refine it more through discussion here or by writing you may be able to get good benefit from it.

Edited my reply cuz it wasn't a complete thought, sorry.

 

[ILoveLife]

Ok, thanks :) Clarified. I will look into it further. I think overgeneralization and personalization are spot on, also all or nothing, disqualifying the positive and maybe others that I'm identifying but can't think much... I'm not having much insight now, this is all new to me and I'm still processing shimmerz reply to be honest.

Regarding the people that invalidated my abuses, ever since childhood my parents, my grandparents, some friends, most exs, psychiatrists and one therapist. Because I have a psychotic mental illness, they made me believe it was all in my head, so recently earlier this year when my T told me my parents were abusive I was surprised, half in denial half in thank god someone believes me.

The denial has been the hardest part to overcome. Like shimmerz said, it was brainwashing, they believed it was all me and since my problems were part of my brain, that excused them of the responsibility and made me feel guilty for behaving angrily or going no contact with both my parents.

Things sort of mellowed in the meanwhile, my mother underwent therapy and although not very empathic, she has mellowed, and my father is dead. All the other abusers are free to abuse more people as I didn't press charges, had relationships with them and when the situation arose for pressing charges to one of them I declined. I don't intend of going through the process of retraumatization now to do something about it, when they will probably won't suffer many consequences for their actions.