Is A 5 Minute Warning Too Much To Ask?

[tphillips117]

I am a 35 year old wife and mother of three. I never cry about anything. I am strong. But I have been brought to my knees by something that I don't understand. I'm scared. I need your help to understand what happened to me because I can seem to find anyone who does.

I have been in therapy for 5 months. I orginally went for anxiety. I like my therapist but his personality is very laid back and he's not been much help to me, truthfully. Yesterday at my session, I went against my better judgement and told him some things about my past. He was emotionless. This made me very nervous and before I knew it, I started to have tunnel vision, my hands went numb, and I started to feel drunk. Then I went somewhere for a few minutes and when I finally came back, he asked "do you regret telling me that?", I think I said "yes", and then he said "ok, that's all the time we have for today", and I got up and stumbled out to my car. I had a 10 mile trip home that I don't even remember. After I got myself together a few hours later, I started to think about how the session went and I started to pick it apart, wondering if his actions were appropriate?

This was not the first time that he has ended a session abruptly. There is no "wrap up" in my therapy. It's 50 minutes and you're out! I hate that. I'm so confused. I'm not sure what to think or what to feel. I've never been in therapy before, so I'm not sure what the expectations are exactly. Can someone help me makes sense of this? I feel like I'm hanging on by an emotional thread.

 

[shell]

Sometimes it's really uncomfortable when they don't comment about you revealing something that was really important for you. It's happened to me, my T always finishes on time, it doesn't matter how dissociated I was, it was all about the time. I was so out of it during a session, that I had a panic attack while driving home. Now he spends 5 minutes getting me grounded so I'm not left hanging.

Yes it does leave you hanging on, perhaps you could suggest that he could warn before the end of the session, so you don't disclose things too close to the end of a session. I lose all track of time, many therapist are very strict with the time, yours certainly isn't the only one.

 

[jennifer bailey]

I am a 35 year old wife and mother of three. I never cry about anything. I am strong. But I have been brought to my knees by something that I don't understand. I'm scared. I need your help to understand what happened to me because I can seem to find anyone who does.

I don't think your experience with the psychologist is uncommon. I don't think a lot of them understand Post Traumatic like they claim.

Don't know what to tell you but just know someobody else is out there (me) with all those weird emotions you're going through because your brain fried off stress hormones.

I believe it will get better. I am not giving up come hell or high water. Don't you give up either sis. :) Peace.

 

[tphillips117]

That makes me feel better. I get that the time is very important. He's getting paid by the hour and I don't want to take up anyone else's time. I get the whole boundry limits. But sheesh, I felt like he kicked me out to the world and could have cared less. He might as well said "Yeah, that's nice, now get out!". It was cold hearted. It made me cry. I felt that bad about it. :(

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

Do you have a choice in finding another T? I think all sessions end pretty much the same because of the time limit, but the T can manage to show a little compassion, like "Sorry, but it seems like we're out of time now", "Are you okay?", "take a few deep breaths and collect yourself before you leave". Anything along those lines would show an ounce of compassion.

I think what he didn't say speaks volumes. You have a right to be concerned. You have your life and wellness intrusted in him. If that is his demeanor, I would be concerned for the totality of his therapy style and skills in general. Does he think he's above any show of compassion for his clients? That's wrong.

Trust is important with your T. How can you establish trust in someone that cold?

I would start interviewing other T's. Find someone who you're comfortable with.

Sorry to hear this happened to you.

Hugs,

Solo

 

[tphillips117]

Thanks Solo,

I get what you are saying and I think you are right. The therapeutic relationship is hard to judge. No where else do we interact with someone in this way. Because of that, it's hard to know what is right or wrong with it. The only thing I have going for me is "a feeling", and I'm sensitive to people's reactions and so "the feeling" is not necessarily all that accurate in my case. I think what matters is that I felt very badly about it. My session was yesterday and I can't stop thinking about how it played out. I feel stupid for having gone against my better judgement. I feel like what happened to me (in the past) was not that big of a deal, even though it affects my life every single day. I feel like shit about it.

This is not the first time this has happened. Most sessions have ended abruptly, but I haven't cared in the past because I didn't disclose anything. So I was always happy to leave. A couple of months ago, I came into session after not feeling well for a long time. I told my T that I was sad, that I was having chronic headaches and that I was having suicidal thoughts. I couldn't even really bring myself to talk during the session and instead of trying to help me, he spent the session staring at me like a freak. I thought it was weird, but what do I know?

A few days later, I went to my doctor and she took one look at me and started asking me questions about depression. My God, I said "yes" to nearly everything on the checklist! I was severely depressed and didn't even know it. I started on Lexapro and within two weeks, I saw a drastic difference in my mood. Once I was thinking straight, I started to wonder why on earth the psychologist that I'm seeing didn't know or mention that he thought I might be suffering from depression? Is he as clueless as I am? OMG, who's running my therapy ship here? Me or him? I'm scared. I'm so screwed!

 

[tphillips117]

It what I experienced dissociative symptoms? Does this sound typical, or do people experience it differently?

 

[Redd1]

I think there are as many different ways to dissociate as there are people. I've experienced something similar to what you described only it turned into a full flashback. It happens and we will be OK. But I do think your T needs some T. Either try to find a new T or maybe tell him how his reaction makes you feel, if he still doesn't get it. I wonder if he has a clue to what PTSD is. I'm sending good thought your way.

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

tphillips,

Sounds like he's made you uncomfortable more than once.

What would you have to loose by going out and interviewing a few new T's for comparison?

Solo

 

[tphillips117]

Solo,

I've already been with the same guy for 5 months. He already knows my history, and to start over just seems like more than I can take. Having said that, the conversation that we will have next session will be very telling, and it will either build us or destroy us. I hope for the former. :)

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

Good luck to you, I hope it works out.

Solo

 

[tphillips117]

Thank you, I hope so too!