Fibro Is Brain Jogging Related to Fibromyalgia and Brain Fog

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
My vertigo in 2013 was something I had never experienced before. It occurred very suddenly due to an ear infection. It was freaky -- as suddenly I didn't know which way to move my arms nor legs and severe. I was diagnosed via CT scan with one overnight hospital stay. -- I was released feeling fine 24 hours later. No more veritgo since then.

Due to the small tumor discovery in that CT scan they ordered my first MRI. I was tested for a balance disorder -- some of which involved following a oscillating dot with my eyes while listening to a contradicting ticking of a clock. Yet I was told that my balance test results were excellent in 2013. I think my own vertigo (inner ear issue) can be ruled out as a symptom of dissociation. But then not everyone is the same.

The slow growing tumors in my cerebellum were there at birth. These tumors have disrupted my balance yet as what age did this first begin -- a good question. About 2010, I was beginning to notice very subtle balance difficulties. Yet this only gradually increased until I fall into a coma in 2018. I doubt that this type of balance disorder is related to my dissociation. I'm not even aware of experiencing symptoms related to my dissociation other than a significant change in my heart beat. But then I only knew that my heart beat had been racing because I read it in my medical report. During my dissociation I've felt mostly numb and have sometimes felt muscle tension.

If my dissociation is causing memory loss perhaps this might be related to my amnesia. Some of these lost memories will return within a day or two. One memory had only returned three years later.

Yes I'm stuck and have been for most of my life -- my first few weeks were good.
Those of us who have had multiple neurological issues concurrently with mental health issues have a couple of choices. We can choose to examine the obvious mental health/trauma history, challenge our distorted thinking, and create an ongoing plan to make good effort to square that away first. Or we can ignore the mental health issues, and intellectualize (a defensive tactic) all the possible causes of past and present potential neurological symptoms, pain, and ignore the mental health aspect. Choose the intellectual focus, we will still be in the same place 10 years from now, in dealing with our trauma, mucked up emotions, anger, etc....and no closer to stability, peace, and contentment. What I know is if I make the conscious good faith choice to deal with the mental health issues, I have seen physical symptom reduction/resolution, stress reduction, more energetic, and happier. Stress is a killer.....so I choose to deal with the things that amp up my stressors....so maybe I can eek out a little more quality time over the next 10-15 years.

If instead, I continue to intellectualize and attend my focus to the physical realm, or continue to kabitz about the possibilities of what's screwed up in my brain......or other possible causes, with no intention to take action, then I'm not going to get to a better place in life. You have started this thread, and talked about your medical and cognitive impairments and issues, your mental health issues as relates to dissociation, and how your doctor feels you are not owning your schizophrenia. Maybe you aren't schizophrenic....maybe you are....I don't know you but seems like you are an intelligent person and know that a hightly trained therapist in dissociative disorders might be helpful.....and maybe your dissociative disorder is impairing your memory. I don't know anyone with dissociative disorders whose memory isn't impacted. You have a complex medical and mental health case, so consider trying to find a good trauma/dissociatve disorders therapist.....Good luck!
 
Those of us who have had multiple neurological issues concurrently with mental health issues have a couple of choices. We can choose to examine the obvious mental health/trauma history, challenge our distorted thinking, and create an ongoing plan to make good effort to square that away first. Or we can ignore the mental health issues, and intellectualize (a defensive tactic) all the possible causes of past and present potential neurological symptoms, pain, and ignore the mental health aspect. Choose the intellectual focus, we will still be in the same place 10 years from now, in dealing with our trauma, mucked up emotions, anger, etc....and no closer to stability, peace, and contentment. What I know is if I make the conscious good faith choice to deal with the mental health issues, I have seen physical symptom reduction/resolution, stress reduction, more energetic, and happier. Stress is a killer.....so I choose to deal with the things that amp up my stressors....so maybe I can eek out a little more quality time over the next 10-15 years.

If instead, I continue to intellectualize and attend my focus to the physical realm, or continue to kabitz about the possibilities of what's screwed up in my brain......or other possible causes, with no intention to take action, then I'm not going to get to a better place in life. You have started this thread, and talked about your medical and cognitive impairments and issues, your mental health issues as relates to dissociation, and how your doctor feels you are not owning your schizophrenia. Maybe you aren't schizophrenic....maybe you are....I don't know you but seems like you are an intelligent person and know that a hightly trained therapist in dissociative disorders might be helpful.....and maybe your dissociative disorder is impairing your memory. I don't know anyone with dissociative disorders whose memory isn't impacted. You have a complex medical and mental health case, so consider trying to find a good trauma/dissociatve disorders therapist.....Good luck!

Does my PCP have the necessary training to diagnose schizophrenia? She's been my Internist for the past 20 years. Rarely has she seen me but twice per year to briefly review my blood-work, a few physical symptoms and to renew my prescriptions (non psychotropic). My last session with a trained mental health professional, my PhD T was last summer.

Recently my PCP changed my previous diagnose of PTSD to Dissociation Episodes. Does a diagnosis of 'dissociation episodes' necessarily indicate schizophrenia? Or is dissociation rather one symptom of schizophrenia?

Assumptions can only blur ones vision -- As I can only assume that my PCP is assuming I have schizophrenia because no trauma source has been found. But then why did she not also remove this 'suspect victim of sexual abuse' from my medical records. I told her that I have no memory of being sexually abused beyond my non contact CSA by my father which has previously been resolved.

So my PCP wants me to seek therapy, saying that I need to talk to someone. Talk to someone okay …but about what? Because I have nothing else to talk about that can be clearly understood. This sets a limit on what my T will permit me to talk about -- And note, these are my therapist's restrictions, not mine.

My last T was a PhD. I terminated with her last summer after six sessions. She couldn't find any trauma source. Does this mean that I have no trauma? Or does this mean that I have no trauma that can be understood?

This is why I find talk therapy to be rather meaningless at this point, even with a PhD. My first 4 years of talk therapy were very helpful to me but then not since age 24. Perhaps my many brain injuries have altered my perceptions …I wasn't even crying during my infancy. I never did have much of a chance of experiencing normalcy.
 
Probably not. But she could (likely) give you a referral for a psychiatrist (MD) who could.

Specifically: if you can see a neuropsychiatrist, that would be a good move for you.
I was assessed by a psychiatrist in February of 2019. She said she knew of no drug that might help me …then suggested that I see a PhD. So then I did see a PhD for six session. I think this T had suspected I've been mis-interpreting my perceptions pertaining to my experiences.

This T kept telling me that I was mistaken as we only seemed to grow more frustrated with each other. As I see it, our unspoken thoughts might have been -- and this applied to both of us, as 'Do you really think I'm going to believe you?' And so eventually my talk therapy came to a halt. It simply 'died out' because I have no alternative. I suspect my PCP's thoughts might be similar though she has taken a more passive stance.

Since my surgeries. I've been referred back to my local neurologist, who I suspect is a psychiatrist (MD). I saw him in 2013 and 2014 for my MRI scans. My PCP suggested that I contact him if I develop any new symptoms. Perhaps there might be a local neuro-psychiatrist.
 
Vertigo/balance issues are a symptom of dissociation. When my dissociation is significant, my balance is off. So, your balance issues have been happening a long while.....and maybe tumor....maybe more likely dissociation related. Dissociation also causes memory loss....significant memory loss. So, since you have a mental health history, I'd strongly consider getting a mental health provider with considerable experience in dissociative disorders and PTSD. My first goal would be to actively work on grounding skills and see if you can get a handle on staying in the present, do your balance issues and memory issues improve. Your brain is hardwired for escape if you dissociate, I have found that learning to stay grounded has been the most helpful thing I've learned that keeps me from having so many memory issues......I think getting someone who has had lots of experience with dissociative disorders and who keeps current, because the field is changing is more important than whether they are a neuropsychiatrist.....many psychiatrists here have more experience prescribing than doing therapy. Consider all your options, what your goal is for this thread issue (like were you looking to improve things and create an action plan or just curious what other people thought? Your user name suggests you are stuck.......is that the case?

@TruthSeeker

Though my balance dysfunction has been directly related to my cerebellar brain tumors, over the past few years -- I might have misunderstood your reference to the loss of ones vertigo/balance as a symptom of dissociation.

So I've been thinking about this symptom -- I had initially assumed that you were referring to being 'emotionally off-balance.' I can recall having conflicting and confusing thoughts during dissociation and in that sense my 'illogical thinking' will be 'off-balance.' My confusion during dissociation might then also lead me to 'over-think' as if, my 'over-thinking' activity might eventually get my brain 'un-stuck' while my heart and body feeling remain numb, unrealized and not experienced.

I might also be filtering out whatever is too disturbing resulting in even more confusion. Yet without reaching any clear conclusions I won't be able to react. Thus I won't do anything at all as if, to simply freeze.

Possibly related to my dissociation might also be a loss of my spacial orientation, especially in regards to amnesia. As for myself, my habitual activity of drawing imaginary diagonal lines across my bedroom walls might offer me some reassurance that, I am where I think I am. This being said, due to my amnesia there are gaps within my memory where I still can't recall where I was. My brain tumor related coma experience in 2018 was very different in that, my coma would very suddenly switch 'on or off' my conscious awareness where as, my dissociation states will develop very gradually.

If my spacial orientation is obscured in somw way then so would my escape route as well as my distancing from any potential threat. This might partly explain why my anxieties will greatly increase within a total darkness. Within a total darkness I'll lose sight of the horizontal and vertical planes within my environment, as well as, the ground beneath me -- Yet without them, how might I then consciously navigate.

In regards to vertigo/balance -- ones awareness of the horizontal and vertical planes within their environment would certainly be intricately related. My habit of drawing imaginary diagonal lines across my bedroom walls might also seem strangely abnormal. Yet these horizontal, vertical and diagonal lines do best represent my perceived reality and spacial orientation within its most simplest terms. In contrast, my imaginary visualizations will be lacking this rigid linear structure and perhaps, this might be my way of distingishing my visualizations from my perceived reality. Anyway, this is my best guess.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
@TruthSeeker

Though my balance dysfunction has been directly related to my cerebellar brain tumors, over the past few years -- I might have misunderstood your reference to the loss of ones vertigo/balance as a symptom of dissociation.

So I've been thinking about this symptom -- I had initially assumed that you were referring to being 'emotionally off-balance.' I can recall having conflicting and confusing thoughts during dissociation and in that sense my 'illogical thinking' will be 'off-balance.' My confusion during dissociation might then also lead me to 'over-think' as if, my 'over-thinking' activity might eventually get my brain 'un-stuck' while my heart and body feeling remain numb, unrealized and not experienced.

I might also be filtering out whatever is too disturbing resulting in even more confusion. Yet without reaching any clear conclusions I won't be able to react. Thus I won't do anything at all as if, to simply freeze.

Possibly related to my dissociation might also be a loss of my spacial orientation, especially in regards to amnesia. As for myself, my habitual activity of drawing imaginary diagonal lines across my bedroom walls might offer me some reassurance that, I am where I think I am. This being said, due to my amnesia there are gaps within my memory where I still can't recall where I was. My brain tumor related coma experience in 2018 was very different in that, my coma would very suddenly switch 'on or off' my conscious awareness where as, my dissociation states will develop very gradually.

If my spacial orientation is obscured in somw way then so would my escape route as well as my distancing from any potential threat. This might partly explain why my anxieties will greatly increase within a total darkness. Within a total darkness I'll lose sight of the horizontal and vertical planes within my environment, as well as, the ground beneath me -- Yet without them, how might I then consciously navigate.

In regards to vertigo/balance -- ones awareness of the horizontal and vertical planes within their environment would certainly be intricately related. My habit of drawing imaginary diagonal lines across my bedroom walls might also seem strangely abnormal. Yet these horizontal, vertical and diagonal lines do best represent my perceived reality and spacial orientation within its most simplest terms. In contrast, my imaginary visualizations will be lacking this rigid linear structure and perhaps, this might be my way of distingishing my visualizations from my perceived reality. Anyway, this is my best guess.
You've put a lot of thought into it. Regarding balance issues....I was talking physical balance.....issues with running into things, spacial awareness.....I don't see things below me, and I'm easily off balance when emotions are high and I physically run into things. That is caused during dissociative episodes.
 
You've put a lot of thought into it. Regarding balance issues....I was talking physical balance.....issues with running into things, spacial awareness.....I don't see things below me, and I'm easily off balance when emotions are high and I physically run into things. That is caused during dissociative episodes.

@TruthSeeker

Perhaps you are describing 'tunnel vision.' No wonder I misunderstood your off-balance and uncoordinated mobilizations during your highly emotional state.

My dissociation is nearly always immobilizing where I'll simply freeze or I'll be abnormally calm though my heart might be racing. I can recall incidents during my dissociation where I had no startle response at all when I most certainly should have startled. My peripheral vision will also be lacking during dissociation. Perhaps your dissociation experience of bumping into things might be related to tunnel vision, as tunnel vision is a symptom of dissociation.

Also during my dissociation I'll be thinking that my situation isn't entirely real. I'll still be able to perceive my surroundings with my senses (amnesia aside) yet, I won't be able to respond to it emotionally. I'll be aware that I'm real though I won't be responding realistically nor can I accept my perceived surroundings are being entirely real. And so I won't be able to respond to it emotionally. I'll simply be numb.

My heart might be pounding rapidly during my dissociation though I won't be consciously aware of this feeling. (I only realized this two years ago after my brain surgery follow-up exam with my rehab doctor who had then taken my blood-pressure/pulse reading ..this reading was in his paperwork)

During dissociation I'll be aware that some of what I am perceiving is highly unusual and confusing to me -- yet within my state of ongoing confusion I can only conclude that my situation is beyond my own understanding where I won't even think to run.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
I have been in freeze mode...active abuse, but there are times that I'm triggered and then I know I'm dissociative, but I have similar symptoms as hypoglycemia, so I'm in safety mode to get sugar.....so I have to move to do that usually. Tunnel vision might describe it some of the time......but in general....it's like walking in a fog and I'm not as aware of my surroundings as I am when I'm with-it.
@TruthSeeker

Perhaps you are describing 'tunnel vision.' No wonder I misunderstood your off-balance and uncoordinated mobilizations during your highly emotional state.

My dissociation is nearly always immobilizing where I'll simply freeze or I'll be abnormally calm though my heart might be racing. I can recall incidents during my dissociation where I had no startle response at all when I most certainly should have startled. My peripheral vision will also be lacking during dissociation. Perhaps your dissociation experience of bumping into things might be related to tunnel vision, as tunnel vision is a symptom of dissociation.

Also during my dissociation I'll be thinking that my situation isn't entirely real. I'll still be able to perceive my surroundings with my senses (amnesia aside) yet, I won't be able to respond to it emotionally. I'll be aware that I'm real though I won't be responding realistically nor can I accept my perceived surroundings are being entirely real. And so I won't be able to respond to it emotionally. I'll simply be numb.

My heart might be pounding rapidly during my dissociation though I won't be consciously aware of this feeling. (I only realized this two years ago after my brain surgery follow-up exam with my rehab doctor who had then taken my blood-pressure/pulse reading ..this reading was in his paperwork)

During dissociation I'll be aware that some of what I am perceiving is highly unusual and confusing to me -- yet within my state of ongoing confusion I can only conclude that my situation is beyond my own understanding where I won't even think to run.
e
 
I have been in freeze mode...active abuse, but there are times that I'm triggered and then I know I'm dissociative, but I have similar symptoms as hypoglycemia, so I'm in safety mode to get sugar.....so I have to move to do that usually. Tunnel vision might describe it some of the time......but in general....it's like walking in a fog and I'm not as aware of my surroundings as I am when I'm with-it.

e

@TruthSeeker

I had hypoglycemia throughout my entire 20s. I know its symptoms ...they were awful and it seemed to always be stress-related. A few times I was near shock ...with extreme nausea, weak tense muscles, trembling, headache that first began at back of my neck, very pale clammy skin, light-headedness and yes, I couldn't think clearly. A few times, I felt like I was about to black-out and once even vomited. It was so difficult to swallow food with the nausea. Yet, this sugar/food intake was certainly needed and very quickly.
 
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