Those of us who have had multiple neurological issues concurrently with mental health issues have a couple of choices. We can choose to examine the obvious mental health/trauma history, challenge our distorted thinking, and create an ongoing plan to make good effort to square that away first. Or we can ignore the mental health issues, and intellectualize (a defensive tactic) all the possible causes of past and present potential neurological symptoms, pain, and ignore the mental health aspect. Choose the intellectual focus, we will still be in the same place 10 years from now, in dealing with our trauma, mucked up emotions, anger, etc....and no closer to stability, peace, and contentment. What I know is if I make the conscious good faith choice to deal with the mental health issues, I have seen physical symptom reduction/resolution, stress reduction, more energetic, and happier. Stress is a killer.....so I choose to deal with the things that amp up my stressors....so maybe I can eek out a little more quality time over the next 10-15 years.My vertigo in 2013 was something I had never experienced before. It occurred very suddenly due to an ear infection. It was freaky -- as suddenly I didn't know which way to move my arms nor legs and severe. I was diagnosed via CT scan with one overnight hospital stay. -- I was released feeling fine 24 hours later. No more veritgo since then.
Due to the small tumor discovery in that CT scan they ordered my first MRI. I was tested for a balance disorder -- some of which involved following a oscillating dot with my eyes while listening to a contradicting ticking of a clock. Yet I was told that my balance test results were excellent in 2013. I think my own vertigo (inner ear issue) can be ruled out as a symptom of dissociation. But then not everyone is the same.
The slow growing tumors in my cerebellum were there at birth. These tumors have disrupted my balance yet as what age did this first begin -- a good question. About 2010, I was beginning to notice very subtle balance difficulties. Yet this only gradually increased until I fall into a coma in 2018. I doubt that this type of balance disorder is related to my dissociation. I'm not even aware of experiencing symptoms related to my dissociation other than a significant change in my heart beat. But then I only knew that my heart beat had been racing because I read it in my medical report. During my dissociation I've felt mostly numb and have sometimes felt muscle tension.
If my dissociation is causing memory loss perhaps this might be related to my amnesia. Some of these lost memories will return within a day or two. One memory had only returned three years later.
Yes I'm stuck and have been for most of my life -- my first few weeks were good.
If instead, I continue to intellectualize and attend my focus to the physical realm, or continue to kabitz about the possibilities of what's screwed up in my brain......or other possible causes, with no intention to take action, then I'm not going to get to a better place in life. You have started this thread, and talked about your medical and cognitive impairments and issues, your mental health issues as relates to dissociation, and how your doctor feels you are not owning your schizophrenia. Maybe you aren't schizophrenic....maybe you are....I don't know you but seems like you are an intelligent person and know that a hightly trained therapist in dissociative disorders might be helpful.....and maybe your dissociative disorder is impairing your memory. I don't know anyone with dissociative disorders whose memory isn't impacted. You have a complex medical and mental health case, so consider trying to find a good trauma/dissociatve disorders therapist.....Good luck!