Is Hiding My Ptsd Unhealthy?

[GettingBy]

I've been diagnosed with PTSD yet my parents dismiss my symptoms as an act of attention seeking. They refuse to believe that I was raped and have called me a liar many times. As a result of this, I do the best that I can to act 'normal' when I'm at home. Whenever my flashbacks come, I leave the room and isolate myself (my hands shake uncontrollably before one so I know when they're coming). My parents ask me why I don't have flashbacks seeing as I supposedly have PTSD. But the thing is, I can never let them see one of my flashbacks because they'll just tell me to get my sh*t together. I'm still in school so I also have to act 'normal' when I'm there too.

I'm fed up with this.

I'm a self harmer. I can't seem to go a day without cutting myself. This scares me. My parents found out about this a few months ago and they told me to stop, told me that I'm acting crazy and told me to grow up.

I hate having to walk around with a smile on my face 24/7. I just feel tired ... so damn tired all the time.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I say let them rip. Well, if that's what it takes for you to be taken seriously.

 

[scout86]

I'd say that "hiding" it isn't unhealthy as much as it's unhelpful. What sounds like of unhealthy is your parent's approach.

You've been diagnosed. Have your parents talked to the person who did the diagnosing? Just curious. They can very well be in a mindset where they won't believe anyone. Sometimes it helps to have a professional plead your case.

Does your school know about your diagnosis? Seems like it might help if at least the people running the show did.

You don't HAVE to be any particular way. You can feel how you feel and express what you're feeling. (I know that's often easier said than done.) But, you don't have to protect anyone from "you" and you don't have to pretend to be or feel anything you don't. Might not be what some other people want, but that's their problem, not yours.

 

[J_trustno1]

@GettingBy : I'm really sorry that you've been through this. It sucks when no one understands your symptoms and calls your illness "attention seeking". I can totally relate to what you're going through. Is there a way you can seek therapy and get some external help because your family like mine won't understand your symptoms. I hope you get the help you need asap.

 

[Chava]

I can relate to wanting to just keep things smoothed over around family. Somehow it's gotten easier over the years, and yet also easier to tell them sort of what's up...we have distance, which helps. If I'd suspect being a liar, I'd keep it to myself if feeling vulnerable, but sure all my real support people knew. I'm sorry I don't have perfect advice for your situation. If your parents seem curious, consider the smallest bit of info and see if they will take that seriously. Invalidation is like a disease I cannot handle, so I understand the struggle.