Idk if this is appropriate or not, but I'm really concerned that I may be experiencing cognitive distortion or maybe I'm being oversensitive, or maybe even an unwitting abuser. I'm struggling a lot right now over this whole thing. I appreciate any and all feedback.
I'll try to keep this to just simple facts, as Sherlock would want.
I have PTSD. Basic facts: extreme physical abuse as a child, also grew up in a rough area where violence was common. I experienced random attacks and ambushes on quite a few occasions. Basically constant violence throughout my youth.
Now for the current issue: my partner invited 2 family members to stay with us for an entire week. Our house is 700 sq ft. My partner knows all about my history and my current struggles (I'm currently enrolled in intensive therapy and on multiple medications). If my fight/flight response gets triggered, I am likely to dissociate, and when that happens, I can get violent and destructive. They didn't ask how I felt about it, or even have a conversation about it. I was told it was happening.
It's worth noting that these are people they see every couple of months, and only live a 2 hour drive away. They aren't coming across the country, and THEY are the ones living in a tourist area, while we live in the country.
People are my biggest trigger, next to being yelled at. I don't do well with people in general, but I especially don't do well with people in my personal space. My home is the only place where I feel even halfway calm. That's literally being taken away from me for an entire week. I will have nowhere to go to be alone in the quiet and unwind for that entire week. Not only will I be experiencing heightened physiological and emotional responses, but I will be required to shove it all done and try to hide it. I did suggest it would be better to have people over for dinner or a BBQ instead of an entire week.
My partner told me to spend some time in the bedroom with the door closed, which doesn't even come close to mitigating the issue. It won't do anything to block out the voices, or the tension and discomfort I feel from people when I go from one room to another. I was also told that it's my therapists job to teach me how to deal with it.
We had a big blowout fight over it where they said they have the right to have their family in their home whenever they want, which I didn't refute, but I was demanding sensitivity and consideration for my medical condition and mental health, not to mention safety concerns. I countered that I had the right to feel comfortable and safe in my own space. They said that I share the space and must make concessions.
They made me feel like a piece of garbage when I got triggered from their screaming at me when I asked them 4 times to walk away, emphasizing that they were triggering me. I didn't hurt anyone or damage any property, but I did go out in the yard and scream and throw some lawn furniture, also chased the rooster. I hate that thing, he keeps attacking us. I was deeply shamed for it.
The situation as it is: the guests are arriving Monday and staying for 5 days. I don't want to fight anymore. I was prescribed sedatives to try and take the edge off.
Am I the asshole for getting fed up and telling my partner they cannot have people in our home for extended periods?
I'll try to keep this to just simple facts, as Sherlock would want.
I have PTSD. Basic facts: extreme physical abuse as a child, also grew up in a rough area where violence was common. I experienced random attacks and ambushes on quite a few occasions. Basically constant violence throughout my youth.
Now for the current issue: my partner invited 2 family members to stay with us for an entire week. Our house is 700 sq ft. My partner knows all about my history and my current struggles (I'm currently enrolled in intensive therapy and on multiple medications). If my fight/flight response gets triggered, I am likely to dissociate, and when that happens, I can get violent and destructive. They didn't ask how I felt about it, or even have a conversation about it. I was told it was happening.
It's worth noting that these are people they see every couple of months, and only live a 2 hour drive away. They aren't coming across the country, and THEY are the ones living in a tourist area, while we live in the country.
People are my biggest trigger, next to being yelled at. I don't do well with people in general, but I especially don't do well with people in my personal space. My home is the only place where I feel even halfway calm. That's literally being taken away from me for an entire week. I will have nowhere to go to be alone in the quiet and unwind for that entire week. Not only will I be experiencing heightened physiological and emotional responses, but I will be required to shove it all done and try to hide it. I did suggest it would be better to have people over for dinner or a BBQ instead of an entire week.
My partner told me to spend some time in the bedroom with the door closed, which doesn't even come close to mitigating the issue. It won't do anything to block out the voices, or the tension and discomfort I feel from people when I go from one room to another. I was also told that it's my therapists job to teach me how to deal with it.
We had a big blowout fight over it where they said they have the right to have their family in their home whenever they want, which I didn't refute, but I was demanding sensitivity and consideration for my medical condition and mental health, not to mention safety concerns. I countered that I had the right to feel comfortable and safe in my own space. They said that I share the space and must make concessions.
They made me feel like a piece of garbage when I got triggered from their screaming at me when I asked them 4 times to walk away, emphasizing that they were triggering me. I didn't hurt anyone or damage any property, but I did go out in the yard and scream and throw some lawn furniture, also chased the rooster. I hate that thing, he keeps attacking us. I was deeply shamed for it.
The situation as it is: the guests are arriving Monday and staying for 5 days. I don't want to fight anymore. I was prescribed sedatives to try and take the edge off.
Am I the asshole for getting fed up and telling my partner they cannot have people in our home for extended periods?
