Is It Better To Reflect On Traumas Or Block Them Out?

[joeylittle]

I do therapy in therapy, and on my own I just do managing where I'm at. Compartmentalizing is a skill that we need to use sometimes, and that's an OK thing. It doesn't mean shoving it all into a box and locking it; it just means being able to take those thoughts out, look at them, work on them, and then put them away. I think you need to be in therapy for awhile to feel comfortable working out your past on your own. Present, sure; past, that's tough.

 

[The Albatross]

How do you do it? I am on one side of the spectrum or the other.

You don't have to be at either end... you play both ends from the middle. Like basketball.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I get triggered and 'locked' whenever I try to talk with someone about my past irl. Its all so much easier online.

 

[Cool Cat]

I do therapy in therapy,
Compartmentalizing is a skill that we need to use sometimes,
being able to take those thoughts out, look at them, work on them, and then put them away. I think you need to be in therapy for awhile to feel comfortable working out your past on your own.

Nodding in agreement here. I don't want to work on this stuff on my own, I don't want my life revolving around therapy, especially since I know I will be needing to be in therapy for the foreseeable future. That sounds very very interesting, how did you learn that?

 

[joeylittle]

@Cool Cat, I learned it using visualization. And by practicing with other things too. So, I actually picture my trauma in a room, playing on a small movie screen. Then I close the door to the room and lock it. And I walk across the next room, which usually has other bits of things that happened that are bad, go to the next door, shut it and lock it. If theres anything left in the third room, I do the same thing. And finally, I walk out of that whole house and step back into the world. I do this in the car after therapy. it takes about 5, 10 minutes.

You can practice it with leaving work, or with leaving behind worries about people you know...

 

[Cool Cat]

@Cool Cat, I learned it using visualization. And by practicing with other things too. So, I actually picture my trauma in a room, playing on a small movie screen. Then I close the door to the room and lock it... And finally, I walk out of that whole house and step back into the world. I do this in the car after therapy. it takes about 5, 10 minutes.

Interesting stuff! Although my trauma tbh is a huge collection of things if that makes any sense, not any one particular event.

Is that a CBT or NLP technique?

 

[joeylittle]

Oh, I think it's just a Joeylittle technique :). I don't remember where I picked it up - there are all sorts of variants of how to visualize compartmentalization. Just play around with basically how to imagine the stuff (could be a big dusty library book, could be a sculpture, mine is a movie and also things...) and where you would most easily imaging putting it away, and then visualize yourself traveling away from it. I do the door locking because it makes me believe the stuff won't get out.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Once you process, you won't have to worry about either option. This is just an issue because you're in the middle of processing and nothing is fully resolved yet.

 

[Lucycat]

I don't think it is as black and white as Block or reflect. I agree with the compartmentalise idea. Put the memories in a compartment and then process them in therapy. Block and/or reflect allows the memory to be in control. By deciding to let it out of a compartment for processing a little at a time you stay in control. I know it is not easy, but I do think it is possible.

Reflection turns to rumination and intrusion. Blocking become numbing and denial.

 

[Cool Cat]

I think every trauma I have processed doesnt affect me anymore. Basically since I started therapy a lot of things are revisiting me and now I see them in a new light as an adult (I'm 20). Like some of the bullying I experienced would fall into the category of sexual harassment/assault.
I'm going to try that 'compartmentalise' thing, I think that might be the way forward.

 

[Ronin]

I tend to reflect when necessary to not be hurtful to someone. Or well, when something gets to me and I need to be in that relationship after. I don't know that the rest of I'm doing is blocking it out though. It's more just accepting it's been my life, it's unchangeable. Part of me, because it /was/ me. Owning the experiences, good and bad, feels like regaining control, like I'm productive about it all.

And for processing, words don't do it. They don't reach that primal depth. But hearing them from someone else does. It's like they say what I can't, and like silence isn't just where I duck to feel safe. It feels protective of sorts.

 

[Dana1010]

The whole "put it in a container until therapy" thing didn't work for me. I'm trying to figure out how much rumination is too much, like at what point does reflecting slide into dwelling? And even if it is dwelling, could I stop myself if I tried? I know in my bones that I've skipped out on processing for too long, so I try to honor all the things that come up, give them attention, and learn through the pain what they're trying to teach me. Still, I have some days lately where I wish I could go back to when everything was in the closet.