Childhood Is it important to be able to remember your childhood?

[Jonn]

How important is it to be able to remember you childhood? I suffer from considerable anxiety. The anxiety surfaces when I try to take an action. Most actions bring up fear. I have no idea why. Is this something from my childhood? Can it be treated without remembering my childhood? The standard process of psychotherapy seems to be to identify and resolve or work through issues from the past. What can I do if I do not remember the past. How can I identify the issues? How can I work through something I don't know about?

 

[Justmehere]

One can get effective treatment for anxiety without remembering childhood. What that will look like and how it can help will vary based on how your symptoms affect your life.

There isn’t any way for anyone here to know if your anxiety now has to do with the past or not. Could be linked. Could be a different matter.

But, if something bad did happen in the past, and you don’t remember it, you still can get effective treatment for your anxiety now. Much of therapy is actually about the here and now.

 

[Deleted member 47384]

^^Seconding everything Justmehere said^^

Also, if there was something traumatic that happened in your childhood that your brain's repressed, it might come back up in therapy. Or maybe it won't, who knows, but the right treatment can still be really beneficial!

Good luck!!

 

[grit]

Jonn, this is a great question and I am no expert and more or less same boat as you in terms of well, being on PTSD site and have similar issues.

I wont bore you with my story but answer to your question (one of the infinite answers) could be no you do not need to remember anything in order to heal. Frankly, there are memories one can get in utero and there is no way of remembering (even though some people can recall under certain circumstances) but people still heal everyday from traumas still. no easy answer.

I am just the tip of the iceberg but the healing comes from getting close to another human who can/or has the capacity to hurt you the same (or similar fashion) but they do not. This allows the person to get very close to teh fire but not get burned as happened as a child. In short, you feel the pain as you felt as a child with the therapist and you live through it by talking about it with your adult mind, and if you are truly lucky or motivated or have the capacity, you come out on the other side different person. not the same person who came out of your childhood.

There is a saying that in order to heal cPTSD or most childhood issues is to have a very safe and loving relationship so that alone shows there is no memory recovery needed. And I think a great therapist will allow you to have a relationship with them which will make you go a bit nuts first cause it is so lopsided but eventually, you get over it and find what lays ahead in your life. I am not underestimating how hard is to find a great therapist, that allows a very real intimate relationships, that brings your deep issues to the surface and just like any other great relationship, you talk about it and the talking about it is the working through. Eventually, you reach a place where you truly care for the therapist but you are like hmm thanks, I am ready to run and find my real love whether that is a person, a vocation, a creative muse or whatever is on that other side you need to get to if you are lucky.

Where in reality, most complex sufferers, their parents supposed to have that relationship and nurture and empower the child so that child could grow up strong and healthy and that did not happen. We are at the mercy of another person to give us a chance for redo!

Again, this is the ideal like unicorn. What healing looks like is as vast as what faces look like! infinite ways for everybody.

Hope this gave you some idea.

 

[EveHarrington]

Psychotherapy isn’t a first line defense for anxiety IIRC...?

Have you tried other kinds of therapy? CBT?

 

[Mr Man]

I’ve benefited from CBT , which does require you going back to your childhood. It’s the NHS’s first recommendation for treatment of CPTSD (Complex PTSD). The idea is that in order to change your dysfunctional behaviour (feeling too anxious) you need to adjust the beliefs they sit on. So for example I had a mother with no empathy and hence capable of great cruelty. It was very helpful to understand this was a mental illness and not due to anything we children had done.

I know it’s initially very scary having to remember this stuff. But once dealt with, its no longer scary. And if you use an appropriately trained therapist, they ensure its done gradually and in a safe place. Its better the memory pops in a safe place than in the fast lane of the M1. Best of luck.

 

[Justmehere]

CBT is a type of psychotherapy. It can be done by remembering childhood and even if one does not remember childhood. CBT Self Help

 

[Digz]

For me, not remembering my childhood really at all was one of the signs of my trauma. That said, it's not necessarily the case for you. My issues surfaced very quickly in therapy as I couldn't even handle very standard questions like what my parents were like as people and this kind of thing, you may or may not find, might bring something back if it is lurking there. It isn't pleasant going through memories if they do arise, but it could significantly help. If it turns out there are no memories, then therapy can still be very helpful with general anxiety.