Relationship Is It Ptsd Or Common Disinterest?

[Justmehere]

The way you are both seeing the relationship is a little black and white / all or nothing - either he wants marriage or he wants to break up.

It may be too soon for either of you to be talking about eventual marriage just 4 months into a long distance relationship. I would spend time together, getting to know him more, face to face. Getting to know what life is like for him and taking this slow. Take the time to see if you two are a good fit.

PTSD or not, you may have different needs in terms of the amount of connection you both want.

I have dated guys without PTSD that did not want to text or chats every day - and guys with PTSD who did want that and got super anxious when we didn't. I have friends without PTSD who leave a text conversation in what feels like the middle of it to me. It could also be a PTSD related thing.

I have PTSD and when I date, I tell guys upfront that I'm not a good daily texter or someone who calls people back quickly. It's partly due to PTSD, but also partly because my life is busy and between all the things I have to do, sometimes, at the end of the day, I just don't want to be glued to a screen. This may even be more true of someone who lives in the country.

It really can be very individual.

It is also common for sufferer to feel more stress as intimacy and love and commitment levels get closer over time, and thus to shut down and isolate more -- all the more reason to maybe pause on marriage talk and spend more time dating and seeing if this is the right long haul relationship for you both.

Most of all, I'd ask him what the radio silence means. Only he can say if it's about his interest in you or not.

 

[Snowflakes]

@Watash2 Yes.....24 hours is a very short time. My sufferer isolates sometimes 1 or 2 weeks at a time.....and we live in the same house. The hardest thing I had to learn was to not take it personally and give her the time to sort things out in her own way.

 

[Watash2]

Not at all. I agree with @Snowflakes, no one knows but him. And there is a good chan...

Greeeeaaaattt hahaha

The way you are both seeing the relationship is a little black and white / all or nothing - either...

I have asked him, explaining that because the communication is so spotty (and sometimes poor even when he's not MIA, i.e. monosyllabic answers to my attempts at playful banter) I'm struggling to trust his intentions with our relationship. His response is usually to get slightly annoyed with me which doesn't do much to alleviate my insecurity.

 

[Snowflakes]

@Watash2 Communication skills between a couple is difficult enough at only 4 months as you try to build a life together. Throw PTSD into the mix and some days it seems damn impossible. My sufferer and I have been together 10 years and we still struggle. That is not an attempt to make you feel better or diminish your feelings, I wrote it so you'll know I understand your struggle and insecurities. Hang in there

 

[Buttercup]

@Snowflakes it is so hard! And not just in romantic relationships. But emotions tend to fly higher in those, for sure.

In my previous marriage, we were married 16 years and together for 18, there was no PTSD involved (although plenty of other issues) and we couldn't get it right. It takes A LOT of work.

What I am finding in my current situation where there is PTSD, my guy has not been able to communicate at call when a bump in the road arises. His stress cup just can't handle anything more from me.