Is Just Talking Enough?

[Elizabeth-Ann]

I am often reading about specific trauma therapies on this forum. I am working with a Psychiatrist since january, once a week for about 45minutes.

Therapy is mostly "telling him" how my week was, what crisis I had and what horrible dreams, what triggered or stressed me. More and more also I am trying to tell him what has happened to me, what is extremely difficult.

For some weeks now I acknowledge that my trauma is much more severe than I had wanted to believe. I acknowledge that I have a multiple and severe trauma, from a difficult childhood, from sexual abuse from religous superiors, and (maybe most severe) from 19 days in a police station /prison in central Russia.

My psychiatrist tells me to go slowly and to be very careful. However, according to my character, I would like to fix my problems rapidly. But of course I realize that this is not going to work with a quick fix...

After every session I am extremely tired, but relieved. It takes me at least 24h to get back on track, I sleep a lot, sometimes I write or paint between the sessions.

But is this "enough"? I don't know if it would be better to do a specific trauma therapy how they are described in this forums to "make it go away". Does "talking" only really help or am I just digging in my dump?

Maybe these are stupid questions. But I really help that some one can give me some advice, maybe from their own experience. I feel very insecure and full of doubt. Thank you!

 

[quaintpapercut]

Hi - I don't think your questions are stupid at all but I really don't have answers. I often felt the same way that you did, that my sessions were not productive as we really were not discussing my trauma but more bits and pieces of my life.

Over time I began to notice that while every session didn't feel like I got stuff done (in the sense of crossing something off a list) , progress was being made and that my therapist was guiding me ever so slowly into awareness of certain issues. In the moment it all feels very, very, slow and like progress isn't being made - but when I look back to where I was 6 months ago and where I am now I can see how all those tiny little steps that seemed insignificant have added up to something significant. I also feel like I'm managing and taking on as much as I can at the moment.

 

[Tanishq]

I would like to fix my problems rapidly.

Hi Elizabeth-Ann, your pschiatrist sounds right to me. He is trying to point you to change your attitude and not to rush to solutions. You may understand or may not. You're in hurry. That's natural. I have this attitude,too. But I have learned we need to be patient with ourselves.

Just enough can mean let out your emotions until you really feel empty. Do you feel empty when you let out your stuff?

 

[Shellbell]

I don't think they are stupid questions either. I think it's a positive thing you are questioning, you have every right to question and evaluate your therapy and progress :tup:

There are different forms of therapy and as far as I can see the most common ones for PTSD are CBT/Exposure therapy and EMDR. Different mental health professionals prefer different therapies. I need all these.

My therapy is going fairly slowly as there is so much to cover and over 3 decades of abuse. I've been going for over 2 months and we haven't got to any of the trauma stuff yet. So far we've only covered my belief systems from my general upbringing.

There isn't a quick fix to therapy - apart from maybe inpatient treatments and for me that would far too overwhelming.

 

[Elizabeth-Ann]

Jaret, yes I feel empty after letting my emotions out. I cry every session and sometimes I am quite shocked from the "revelations" I bring to myself when talking spontaneously. Even after therapy, a simple question or remark of my therapist continues to work in my mind, heart and body.

It goes so slowly, but I have the impression that it is a full time job... :blackeye:

 

[ms spock]

I think that your questions are clever and insightful.

It is hard to be with the slowness of healing sometimes. I certainly feel that way.

It is a full time job - but after awhile that doesn't mean you can't have a full time life living, doing and being in other spheres of your life as well. What you do in the outside world and in your life can contribute and highlight your healing process. It is slightly different for every one.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Elizabeth Ann,

Your questions are very good and it doesn't hurt to ask questions and take an inventory of where recovery is at and if it is meeting your needs. But one thing to remember is recovery is more of a marathon than a sprint. Sometimes you have to pace yourself in order to meet the goal.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[Tanishq]

Jaret, yes I feel empty after letting my emotions out.

This assures you are doing good for yourself. When you are done with letting out, automatically you will put yourself to go ahead and take out other stuff. One stuff at a time. :tup: Elizabeth-Ann.

 

[Elizabeth-Ann]

I am very touched by all your responses... really, I did not expect that! Thank you all! You help me a lot! :oops:

 

[Tanishq]

I am glad to hear that Elizabeth-Ann. :)

 

[Mandy Tad]

Hi Elizabeth Ann, I feel exactly the same as you in therapy, after each session I feel confused, drained out and exhausted and then 2 days later it beings to sink it. Good thing is I dont cry like I used to before. Just that to bring up the incidents and memories makes me cry like a baby still. I prefer avoiding the topics but then each session I am made to speak. At the last session I begged to stop. I do not want to remember anymore. Not sure if that is going forward or backwards.

 

[Hashi]

I think partly it depends what healing/being healed means to you. Are you aiming for a certain level of functioning, with the expectation that you'll always have to do some work to manage your thoughts, feelings and symptoms? Or are you looking for a deeper understanding of yourself, a healing of what happened and to find a new meaning for your life? I'm not saying one is better than the other, but I think each person makes their own decision about aiming for one or the other, or decides what balance of the two they want to achieve.

Also, what are you willing to put yourself through? What are you able to put yourself through? I think some approaches can be quite brutal. For one person an approach might be difficult but do-able, whereas for someone else it could be retraumatising.

Something I wonder, but don't know, is about how some people have a relatively stable and happy "before trauma " background, and some have lived with trauma from an early age so they don't have a stable base underneath what happened to them. I wonder whether the intensive and confrontational therapies might be more appropriate for those who have more stability behind them, or who have managed to create more stability in their lives now, for example with their own family.

I'm not sure what you mean exactly by the "make it go away" therapies. I think often these are "make it go away enough for me to get on with my life" or "make it go away enough for me to work on things more through talk therapy or other methods". If that's what you want, and can manage, then perhaps it's worth considering them.

I think, though, that trauma affects us and our lives so much, that there are still other pieces that have to be picked up - broken relationships, negative self-image, difficulty with interpersonal skills, missed opportunities, tendency to depression, anxiety etc. There isn't a magic wand that makes everything all right, and personally I see the healing of the effects as being a slow process together with the healing of the trauma. For myself, I can't separate them.

I also think talk therapy can be more than just talking. Doing things around the therapy - journalling, art, visualisation etc - can give more power to the process of talking, and the process of talking can feed into the things you do outside sessions. I think my talk therapy goes far beyond the 50 minutes per week of actually talking.

There are also some more gentle approaches alongside talk therapy, like somatic and alternative therapies. These can have an intensive/confrontational element themselves (by confrontational, I mean confronting trauma face-on in some way) - like EMDR. I've had craniosacral therapy, and alongside talk therapy it's helped me a huge amount. It's still a journey, though, rather than a fix.