whirleygurl
New Here
I didn't find talk therapy very helpful. I found a therapist who specializes in PTSD. Just started though. I will post here as I go through therapy and let you and everyone else know what I find helpful.
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Is Just Talking Enough?
- Post starter Elizabeth-Ann
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- Post starter
- #14
Elizabeth-Ann
Bronze Member
MandyTad, thank you for your post! My therapist does not "make" me talk, he tells me to be very careful and to go where I am able to go and to stopp - if necessary in the middle of a phrase - when it is too much. Sometimes I just stop, sigh and say - I can't go any further. Breathing, silence, waiting...
I am glad you where able to say stop last time. It seems so extremely important to me that our limits are respected for they where not respected in most of our histories.
My therapist says: "you are here to be better, not no be worse after a session." This does not mean that I am not drained at the end and empty. But this is just a strange feeling to me and a rather good one.
I understand too that you don't like remembering anymore. No one of us does, because it is extremely painful and scary. But we know that it is necessary... In my feeling it is a matter of rythm, of patience that helps us to talk about it finally. My therapist says: You talk about what you want and when you are ready to talk about it. This is very helpful for me.
I felt like sharing this personal experience with you, thinking of you and caring for you! Be safe!
I am glad you where able to say stop last time. It seems so extremely important to me that our limits are respected for they where not respected in most of our histories.
My therapist says: "you are here to be better, not no be worse after a session." This does not mean that I am not drained at the end and empty. But this is just a strange feeling to me and a rather good one.
I understand too that you don't like remembering anymore. No one of us does, because it is extremely painful and scary. But we know that it is necessary... In my feeling it is a matter of rythm, of patience that helps us to talk about it finally. My therapist says: You talk about what you want and when you are ready to talk about it. This is very helpful for me.
I felt like sharing this personal experience with you, thinking of you and caring for you! Be safe!
- Post starter
- #15
Elizabeth-Ann
Bronze Member
whirleygirl, I am glad you came here and you started therapy! I hope you will find soon the therapy that helps you most! I look forward to hearing from you and how you are doing!
- Post starter
- #17
Elizabeth-Ann
Bronze Member
Hashi, thank you for your post! It took a while for me to read and to think about everything. You seem very experienced...
I think it is what you write: "looking for a deeper understanding of yourself, a healing of what happened and to find a new meaning for your life".
I think it is true that I lived with trauma from an early age on, sadly. But there where several events/times later on that where very heavy. It seems that my early trauma are not a "problem" anymore in dayly life, but they hold me back in certain ways now that I should approach severe trauma. They fromed in a way my personality (never tell anyone, guilt, being used to deal with everything allone because of the fear of being abandonned when being "difficult" or "complicated" e.g. asking for more than people can bear or give to me.I don't know if I express myself well without going into details.
The severe trauma to approach is the reason why I went to therapy, but I realize that first I have to clear out a walkable path through the coppice of my history.
My therapist says that it is a sign of my great capacity of healing my strong personality and capacity of resilience that I am "still here", especially after my severe trauma four years ago. This encourages me to believe in my capacity to go far, to really heal and understand and even grow with it. But I cannot always belive in this capacity. When I am in crisis I am full of doubt about everything.d
A "make it go away therapy" maybe is a naive idea of a therapy without pain and without work. An exercise you do five times and then you get a stamp "healed" and your life is like before... Deep down in my heart I wish I could have such a "magic" therapy and I would be willing to put myself through hell to get this stamp fast and to close the file "trauma" in my life.
But as you write, in reality I am more in need of time of a slow and gentle approach, of deep and careful work to get to the bottom of everything without drowning.
I guess I have to finally learn that some things in life you can't rush... ;)
You are right, it is much more than talking 50min a week. I dream a lot, sometimes I write or paint. Allone, not in a seperate therapy. I have a very good physiotherapist who I see every time right after talking therapy for massage and relaxation. This helps me a lot. I am not ready yet, but my therapist (a Psychiatrist) told me that he sometimes works with a lady who makes psycho-physical therapy (whatever this is) and that this could help me. I am still too scared especially because it would be a new and unknown person. But maybe later on I will ask to see her.
Yes, a journey, a long one, but more and more I can believe that I might finally one day arrive at a good place safely.
I think it is what you write: "looking for a deeper understanding of yourself, a healing of what happened and to find a new meaning for your life".
I think it is true that I lived with trauma from an early age on, sadly. But there where several events/times later on that where very heavy. It seems that my early trauma are not a "problem" anymore in dayly life, but they hold me back in certain ways now that I should approach severe trauma. They fromed in a way my personality (never tell anyone, guilt, being used to deal with everything allone because of the fear of being abandonned when being "difficult" or "complicated" e.g. asking for more than people can bear or give to me.I don't know if I express myself well without going into details.
The severe trauma to approach is the reason why I went to therapy, but I realize that first I have to clear out a walkable path through the coppice of my history.
My therapist says that it is a sign of my great capacity of healing my strong personality and capacity of resilience that I am "still here", especially after my severe trauma four years ago. This encourages me to believe in my capacity to go far, to really heal and understand and even grow with it. But I cannot always belive in this capacity. When I am in crisis I am full of doubt about everything.d
A "make it go away therapy" maybe is a naive idea of a therapy without pain and without work. An exercise you do five times and then you get a stamp "healed" and your life is like before... Deep down in my heart I wish I could have such a "magic" therapy and I would be willing to put myself through hell to get this stamp fast and to close the file "trauma" in my life.
But as you write, in reality I am more in need of time of a slow and gentle approach, of deep and careful work to get to the bottom of everything without drowning.
I guess I have to finally learn that some things in life you can't rush... ;)
You are right, it is much more than talking 50min a week. I dream a lot, sometimes I write or paint. Allone, not in a seperate therapy. I have a very good physiotherapist who I see every time right after talking therapy for massage and relaxation. This helps me a lot. I am not ready yet, but my therapist (a Psychiatrist) told me that he sometimes works with a lady who makes psycho-physical therapy (whatever this is) and that this could help me. I am still too scared especially because it would be a new and unknown person. But maybe later on I will ask to see her.
Yes, a journey, a long one, but more and more I can believe that I might finally one day arrive at a good place safely.
I see myself in a very similar way, in fact in art I often represent my journey as being through a forest, or the effects of trauma as being trees that have grown up in my way and could be hiding anything.
Psycho-physical therapy sounds very interesting.
Yes, and with a solid foundation that you've created along the way. We'll get there, Elizabeth-Ann!
Hi Elizabeth-Ann, each session of my therapy is different, All I can tell you is I no longer cry as before. The pain and hurt is still too strong. The memories, thoughts are still to fresh and there are times, when events that happened and I no longer remembered have come back and it hurts a lot. I dont know why this is happening. The more I want to let go, the stronger it gets.
My therapist says my determination to be normal is making it worse. I just got a part time job but now I am scared to even start. I have been warned I will not cope, but I still want to go ahead. Its like I have to prove to myself that I am not hurting anymore. My mind is such a confused state right now.I am afraid if I have a flashback at the new workplace I will have another meltdown again, but I keep telling myself maybe it will not happen. What if you do go and it does not happen, you will get stronger.
My therapist says my determination to be normal is making it worse. I just got a part time job but now I am scared to even start. I have been warned I will not cope, but I still want to go ahead. Its like I have to prove to myself that I am not hurting anymore. My mind is such a confused state right now.I am afraid if I have a flashback at the new workplace I will have another meltdown again, but I keep telling myself maybe it will not happen. What if you do go and it does not happen, you will get stronger.
I've been wondering the same thing. I've just started to get to know the new T (only one currently available to me on my insurance) and I don't know what experience she has with trauma.
Great thread. Tons of insight and good advice.
Whitneys story
Diamond Member
I feel this is an excellent question! Thanks so much for making this thread. As our journey is constantly growing, hopefully in positive directions; questions and answers bring new awareness. Thank You
Elizabeth-Ann, it's important to remember as well, that when dealing with multiple and severe trauma's starting from childhood, therapy often needs to be slow and careful, so not to become too overwhelming.
I think your psychiatrist is right to walk through this slowly with you.
My therapy is going really slowly and this is needed and at a pace I can just about handle. At the beginning, I was impatient to get through it quickly, and then realised I couldn't handle it. And sometimes these crisis or difficult situations we deal with now need to be addressed as a priority over the past stuff.
As long as it's in a positive direction, it's good, no matter how slow it seems.
I think your psychiatrist is right to walk through this slowly with you.
My therapy is going really slowly and this is needed and at a pace I can just about handle. At the beginning, I was impatient to get through it quickly, and then realised I couldn't handle it. And sometimes these crisis or difficult situations we deal with now need to be addressed as a priority over the past stuff.
As long as it's in a positive direction, it's good, no matter how slow it seems.
- Post starter
- #23
Elizabeth-Ann
Bronze Member
I am back from therapy where I talked about everything and nothing at the same time. I feel guilty. A lot of things went very well this week and I told my T about it, how I felt good, how I handled difficult situations brilliantly...
And I told him how frustrating it was to have this awful flashback one evening because of "nothing". I wanted to be strong in front of him I think, but I was frustrated and upset, not so much because of the flashback, but because I still do not understand how it is possible to deal so extremely well with things most people struggle and to break down because of a small thing that triggers exactly the "button."
I talked and I felt helpless, confused, weird and REALLY mad. And of course all my doubts came back: he will not believe you, it was not so terrible what you went through, just very subjectively it was hard, you are just an oversensitive person, or simply: a liar.
Difficult to believe at this moment, that it helped to talk and I am in temptation not to takl again but to "be strong" and carry on alone and silently.
- and I hate myself for this.
And I told him how frustrating it was to have this awful flashback one evening because of "nothing". I wanted to be strong in front of him I think, but I was frustrated and upset, not so much because of the flashback, but because I still do not understand how it is possible to deal so extremely well with things most people struggle and to break down because of a small thing that triggers exactly the "button."
I talked and I felt helpless, confused, weird and REALLY mad. And of course all my doubts came back: he will not believe you, it was not so terrible what you went through, just very subjectively it was hard, you are just an oversensitive person, or simply: a liar.
Difficult to believe at this moment, that it helped to talk and I am in temptation not to takl again but to "be strong" and carry on alone and silently.
- and I hate myself for this.
ms spock
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