General Is There Any Point In Talking To Someone Professionally As A Supporter?

[CBP]

Does it help to talk to a professional from people's experience? Or dose it just make things worse? Or make no difference at all?

 

[amethist]

Hi CBP

If you are struggling as a supporter and you can find a therapist who "Gets it", then they can be a big help in sorting the issues you have. Putting them into perspective and helping you possibly look at things in a different way.

Struggling on your own and not having an outlet for all that being a supporter throws at you, could eventually drag you down. You could become ill yourself from all the stress bottled up, then you will not be able to support your sufferer as they could need.

So finding a professional is one way of taking care of yourself.

 

[LC23]

I don't see why not. You have your own issues and though they aren't perhaps as severe as the one you are supporting, they are real, valid, and you should be able to seek out a disinterested professional who has nothing to lose or gain by the conversation, other than the agreed upon professional fee. Talk to a few a pick the one you get the best feeling from. Don't go with the first one even if you like them. Talk to at least one other to compare. There's certainly no harm in trying it.

Best recovery wishes for both you and your PTSD afflicted loved one.

 

[CBP]

Thanks, you're all very kind. I don't know it may pass, but I'm in tears again.

 

[amethist]

If you are in tears, it is time to go talk to someone.

As LC23 said, look around and find someone who you are comfortable with, someone who can understand your side of it all.

You can always just pour your heart out on here, that does help to let some of it out.

 

[CBP]

Thanks I guess if any one understands it is you guys, though I guess it is hard to let you guard down even in a forum anonymous people. I'll get there

 

[amethist]

Give it time and you will feel more comfortable sharing how you feel.

Dont forget we have probably been there and got past the worst of it, though it does keep coming back and biting us at times.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I think getting help for yourself is a must do. You cannot afford to go without it. It will be extra help, support, and encouragement and a way to work through the very things you struggle with. You are not alone, and there are alot of people here who know how you feel and what you are going through. Big hugs.

 

[CBP]

Big hugs back, thank you. I think maybe I should look into getting some help when I get back from my dad's

 

[HollyB]

Absolutely. I've seen a therapist on-and-off for 5 years to handle my own issues and stressors, and she's been a tremendous resource and sense of support when I had to add handling my man's PTSD to the mix.

While we all want to help and support our sufferers, we can't do that unless we're emotionally healthy ourselves. I honestly don't know that I could have even been in my relationship with my sufferer prior to fixing myself through therapy. That's not to say you need fixing right now, but being emotionally healthy on your own is critical when handling and supporting a sufferer, I think.

 

[LC23]

Therapy can be really liberating if only for the ability to say ANYTHING you want on the inside of a black box. When you leave the box, the things you said stay there (with only a couple of exceptions, notably if your T perceives a real life-endangering threat to yourself or others). So it's a great place to say all those things that you don't want to say in public or to your intimates for fear of hurting them. This doesn't even factor in the info your T gives back and whether it's 'useful' or not.

(Though you certainly shouldn't settle on a T who gives back very little help after listening to all your stuff. I had one like that for a while and I hung in there for a few months but I eventually said to myself, shoot, I could do this in an empty room just as well.)

 

[Renee5624]

I'm finding therapy helpful. I'm discovering that while I'm dealing with a spouse with PTSD, I have my own soul-searching that is long overdue. Past relationship experiences have made it difficult to recognize times where my husband WAS trying to communicate in his own way or to slowly reach out. Now, we are trying to find a way to start over and it's difficult. It's hard for me to praise him for picking up dinner when he's been home during a day off. I feel that it's the right thing to do instead of waiting until I get home after 6pm. I'm now learning that if he does something that pleases me, whether or not it should be automatic, that he needs words of praise and affirmation. It's maybe a small tool to chip away from the guilt and pain from combat, and shows that I see him. I also have to learn that even a small glimmer or step forward, no matter how tiny, is still forward and I again must acknowledge it. It's hard hard hard hard work! And some days I wonder why am I the one that feels like I'm trying the most? my therapist encourages me that small things build into a big thing.. And to research into forums such as this one for further support and tools.. Soo.. I say try it, you might find it to be the thing that restores hope during the difficult times.