Is There Anything To This??

[Gs172003]

Something I just realized today.

I've been married three times. All of them sucked in one way or another but #2 was something kind of special. Anyway #1 was 94-98. #2 98-03. This one 03- now BUT four years ago I found out about the porn addiction. He has since stopped but other things happened (lying, staring issues, sexual issues, some of this very much mimicked #2) and I wanted out many many times. More so now. Is there a link?

 

[Gs172003]

I will say #2 was also an addict. But he wasn't in the same way as current. He was much. Much. Different.

 

[Gs172003]

Four years four years four years?

 

[watundah]

"They" say we repeat behavioral patterns until it's cured, until you learn that it isnt working. That goes for choosing mates, too. Important insights here, perhaps, in the fact that you're asking this question.

 

[Intrepid]

I’ve been married twice. Both spouses had serious issue. The link was me. I saw who both were early on and went that direction anyway. There were some pretty big clues. For another long term relationship there were also clues that our relationship wasn’t high on her priority list. I ignored the clues. I ignored clues over and over again.

 

[Gs172003]

I will say #2 was also an addict. But he wasn't in the same way as current. He was much. Much. Different...

I should say he was a porn addict. He was well known as a pervert.

 

[IamFree]

Did you come from a family with addiction issues..That was the case for me and I have found in adulthood I unconsiously repeated and created similair relationship patterns.

 

[Gs172003]

Did you come from a family with addiction issues..That was the case for me and I have found in adulthoo...

My dad was an alcoholic and serial adulterer. My parents divorced when I was five I think. I don't know cause I don't remember.
The thing that threw me was the four year pattern. Why do I tolerate until four years after I know something is bad? What is it about four years?

 

[IamFree]

I can only speak for myself when i say because it was all i had ever known it just felt normal for a long time.

 

[Gs172003]

I can only speak for myself when i say because it was all i had ever known it just felt normal for a...

I understand

 

[aut555]

They say by the time we divorce, it's already to late. A lot of people take ten years to get divorce. I think it took me about five years. I would ask him do you want to divorce now? But my daughter was an emotional teenager and couldn't handle being uprooted. Later after l left, she was on antidepressants. My ex l believe has porn addiction, because l never saw any signs there of romance. Lol

 

[dulcia]

The link was me. I saw who both were early on and went that direction anyway. There were some pretty big clues.

#1 - Manipulative. Developed full blown H addiction. Physically abusive once or twice. Verbally/emotionally abusive on occasion.
#2 - PTSD. Manipulative, history of lying. Physically abusive three or four times. Verbally/emotionally abusive often.

We accept the love we think we deserve?