Is There Such A Thing As *mild* Ptsd?

[Amy23]

I have a friend who definitely has PTSD and he was describing all the ways it severely impacted his life. All I could think is "Wow, that's so extreme... far worse than what I experience"

But I wonder... could I have mild ptsd? Is that even a thing?

I went through some stuff and I can't even talk about it, but last time I tried I freaked out and was having flashbacks and a mega panic attack. I was on the floor... it was bad.

And sometimes I see something, like last time it was a drawing on pinterest of something unrelated that just really reminded me of details... and I won't be able to think of anything else for several days but what happened to me and it'll really truly torture me.

But the rest of the time, I'm fine. Like I think about it pretty regularly, and obviously its upsetting, but I'm not avoiding anything or being hypervigilant and I almost never have panic attacks from it. I do have nightmares sometimes that'll mess me up for a day or two, but its uncommon.

This just doesn't sound disabling enough to be PTSD. So, what is it?

 

[joeylittle]

Have you been to a psychiatrist or psychologist for a diagnosis?

 

[Chava]

There is probably a spectrum. Maybe you have trauma that still affects you to some degree when triggered or reminded of the trauma. I don't think that's actually very uncommon. I think of PTSD as more like a fairly steady level of hyper-vigilance or numbness. But if you are curious or unsure, you could check out diagnosis. If it isn't disrupting your life enough to seek therapy or diagnosis, it's probably regular human trauma that can trigger us from time to time. My sexual assault stuff is actually like that. It definitely can cause PTSD for some people. But for me, it's very specific and triggered in narrow situations. But my chronic regulations difficulties probably relate to other traumas. And it's chronic dysregulation problems, inability to sleep, disconnection, etc.

In any case, if your stuff feels unresolved or like it's affecting you in some negative ways, you could seek counseling and learn more about what your trauma means in terms of your life and where you are at now.

 

[Amy23]

I've been to a psychiatrist and a psychologist for depression and anxiety, but I've never talked about it. If I try, I can't breathe.. so then I can't talk.

 

[Amy23]

Have you been to a psychiatrist or psychologist for a diagnosis?

I've been to a psychiatrist and a psychologist for depression and anxiety, but I've never talked about it. If I try, I can't breathe.. so then I can't talk.

 

[Amy23]

There is probably a spectrum. Maybe you have trauma that still affects you to some degree when triggered o...

Yeah, I can see that. I'm definitely not steadily overwhelmed by it. I think about it a couple days a week on average I guess and have anxiety spells for a couple hours. I usually am able to distract myself and get out of it. And it overwhelms me constantly for about a week every 2-4 months maybe. During those times that I am overwhelmed by it, I am **extremely** affected by it. But I do have a lot of days that I don't think about it at all.

But this is from almost 20 years ago.. So, I feel like I should be more over it by now.

 

[Chava]

I've been to a psychiatrist and a psychologist for depression and anxiety, but I've never talked about it. If I try, I can't breathe.. so then I can't talk.

So without worrying about labels or diagnosis right now, do you think you could seek out a different therapist who specifically works with trauma? Then there might be the understanding that there is something there, but hard to talk about...and maybe some route to get through it if it is affecting you. Do you think your trauma experience is connected to the anxiety and depression? I ask because I've been through whack-a-mole treatment for symptoms (depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, anorexia, alcoholism)...all worthy of good treatment in their own right, but the underlying issue was the trauma.

Or another way to phrase it...why you did therapy for the depression or anxiety, did it help? Can you go back? Do you feel like you need more support or like you need to work on this? I ask that because honestly I don't care a whole lot about my sexual trauma because I don't need to have sex. It means almost nothing to me. I'm working at the level of basic good friendships and positive connections. If you feel like part of your life or self is walled off or shut off because of some anxiety or avoidance, maybe therapy would be helpful.

If you feel like your life is okay, even if you have this trauma, I'd wonder why diagnosis or treatment would matter. Nevermind what happened if you don't feel like there is some part of your life that is semi destroyed or like you have some goals that you cannot meet on your own. If you're okay with your life as it is, what difference would a diagnosis mean?

 

[Chava]

Oh, we cross-posted.!!

But this is from almost 20 years ago.. So, I feel like I should be more over it by now.

But I would say nevermind the time span. Consider current effect or mental drainage. I know it can feel "okay" or "normal" to be stuck in the past or a state of dread, numbness, etc. If this is still heavily on your mind and hard to talk about consider seeking out a therapist who specializes in trauma. As for "mild PTSD" ...meh, I don't know. I don't compare. My suffering feels pretty f*cking normal to me. I hate to admit I often prefer suffering to feeling good. So, nevermind the comparisons. Look at how it affects you personally now, nevermind comparisons or even labels.

 

[Amy23]

So without worrying about labels or diagnosis right now, do you think you could seek out a different thera...

I can't choose a specific therapist because I don't have insurance and am stuck with the local mental health clinic. I've been thinking a lot about your post cause it caught me off guard... I guess I'd like the diagnosis to feel like what I'm going through is legitimate. Like I feel like its somehow not a thing at all without a name. And that feels really messed up, cause I go through it. Idk.. it doesn't really make sense. I just never thought it through b4.

And no, while this definitely causes depression and anxiety while I'm dealing with it, the depression and anxiety is also its own thing separate from this and medication has gotten me from 24/7 intense depression and anxiety to 90% of it gone most of the time.

I dont know what I'd hope to accomplish going to therapy. I feel like this is just part of me. I dont think there is any help for me. I just know that if I try to talk about it, it gets really hard to deal with. So, I think therapy would be counterproductive.

I don't really have any goals with this. I dont think its something that therapy can make go away. I just want to understand what exactly is happening to me. If its PTSD, then it must be incredibly mild compared to what my friend has... if its not PTSD.. what's happening to me??

 

[Amy23]

And I feel weird saying it would be mild, because when it does affect me it can be severe... but it doesn't affect me remotely all the time or ruin my life the way my friend's PTSD has for him.

 

[The Albatross]

Well, there is PTS... post traumatic stress without the "D"/disorder... saw some idiot on our local news use it wrong today.

 

[Chava]

I just know that if I try to talk about it, it gets really hard to deal with. So, I think therapy would be counterproductive.

This, right here, is why there are trauma therapists. You might consider researching Somatic Experiencing or other forms of trauma-specific therapy. In body-oriented therapy, such as Somatic Experiencing (SE)..the "talk" part is not so important. Super doper helpful. Not sure if it's an option in your area. It's not in mine, so I travel a good distance because I feel like it's worth it.

I guess I'd like the diagnosis to feel like what I'm going through is legitimate. Like I feel like its somehow not a thing at all without a name

I really understand that statement. But your trauma and response is valid, in its own right, diagnosis or not. Diagnosis is not perfect. But I understand the feeling of validation. I was diagnosed with PTSD but the unofficial diagnosis of CPTSD (not in the DSM) did feel validating and clarifying. I get it. But the suffering and struggle is real and valid, label or not. Even finding the right therapist to meet with might help with some of your validation stuff.

I dont know what I'd hope to accomplish going to therapy

This is how I felt because my patterns and feelings are very deeply entrenched. So, really it's up to you...is there something you want to change? For me, I connect with others poorly. That feels deep and impossible to change. But I've learned there is hope...it's just a sort of therapy that lasts beyond a few months...and finding a therapist I trust.

I dont think there is any help for me.

Same as above. I'm not sure, since I know very little of you or your story, but perhaps a meeting with a trauma therapist could help you sort out some of these ideas. What does "I don't think there is any help for me" mean? You are hopeless? Deeply entrenched in patterns? Nobody can understand? Etc...you haven't found the right therapy yet. What if you found a therapist who specialized or worked with trauma? And could you even write out the generals and let them create a sort of structure or support for whatever process might help you move beyond this?

I don't really have any goals with this. I dont think its something that therapy can make go away.

Ditto everything I already said.

I actually researched and found my current therapist because my physical pain responded well to movement. I had some intuitive sense that it was complex trauma (I have the memories, some several decades old, but haven't known how they affected me). I found a dance/movement therapist and assumed I'd focus on pain and connecting to my body. Her primary focus is trauma and SE. After going over my written intake she said she wanted to try a trauma approach. She didn't push me at all to talk about the trauma. We just worked at a body/regulation level and getting a decent connection. Over time it felt safe to share some memories with her. But, the push should not be on spilling the story.

If feeling split over this, or stuck in some way, find a therapist you feel comfortable with and confident in therapy...and then, "talk" about trauma takes a long time for some of us. In more recent views of trauma, the details of your story might matter less than skills of feeling grounded and connected to yourself in spite of triggers.

I'm rambling and my computer is slow. Just keep open-minded, curious, and consider that the deeper patterns that feel hopeless or even normal could shift, if you want, through seeking out a good therapy fit for you.