Is There Such A Thing As *mild* Ptsd?

[Amy23]

Well, there is PTS... post traumatic stress without the "D"/disorder... saw some idiot on our local...

Reading online, PTS resolves within a month.

 

[The Albatross]

I wouldn't bet on it... but who am I to disagree... PTS though IS a milder form of PTSD.

 

[Amy23]

This, right here, is why there are trauma therapists. You might consider researching Somatic Experiencing...

I think you missed the part about me not having private insurance and only being able to go to the county mental health clinic. They assign therapists, I dont get to choose. The ones they've assigned before just kept asking me what my goals are... I dont really have any goals. Just to feel better. And they didn't have any advice for that. So, I stopped going.

Maybe one day I'll marry someone with private insurance and get to go to a trauma counselor. lol.

I still just imagine me making myself feel worse talking about it... just increasing the number of episodes I have. I don't see how they could possibly make me stop thinking about it and if I think about it, I'm going to be upset by it. I don't see how anyone could change either of those. I get there's coping skills for the panic attacks, but the suffocating heaviness, the flashbacks, the vulnerable feeling... I don't see how anyone could teach me a skill to make those stop.

 

[Chava]

I think you missed the part about me not having private insurance and only being able to go to the county mental health clinic. They assign therapists, I dont get to choose.

Okay, yes. Sorry I missed this and I know it's a major factor. I'm so grateful to insurance through my work. For a while, when we switched companies, I lost steam and hope because my therapist was suddenly "out of network" and in weighing it out, I realized I maybe would have to stop. f*ck. (it worked out, thank to a lot of work probably on her part, that she is now considered "in network").

If you find someone you feel comfortable with on a really basic level, could you consider sticking with it and focusing on the depression/anxiety symptoms? And, perhaps, once you feel somewhat safe bring a letter or send them an e-mail with just the general basics info of this trauma that weighs on you? (I say this from an avoidant perspective, so not at all 100% best recommendation).

I do think the connection is most important. Trauma-informed is extremely helpful. But there are trauma-informed assholes. If you can find therapist within your approved network that you feel basically okay with, consider sticking with the therapy and not worrying about hashing out and processing the trauma right away. In a really general sense, that takes a good deal of time. There should be no rush. And if you find someone you like, trust, or feel like you can connect to...but feel pushed...consider bringing some notes to real aloud, or just give to them....write out your fears of talking, of tail-spinning, etc....be HONEST. If you can't speak, that makes perfect sense. But consider other routes to clueing your therapist.

Sorry to toss ideas out that might not be realistic. If you have a good therapist and good connection, much can be achieved through time. And even with a good therapist, know that you might feel lost at times. It helps a lot to have a very basic starting goal. Mine was to feel more like I could handle my emotions on my own. That was trauma-oriented, yet not trauma-specific. If that makes sense...

If you don't have goals, shelve all of it and keep focusing on what helps you ground or do your daily life. If you have some goals, even if they seem unrealistic or hopeless right now, consider finding a therapist who feels basically supportive and empathetic. And the know that it is a team effort. They can't "fix" you. You do need some shred of a goal or orientation and willingness to change.

 

[Friday]

But I wonder... could I have mild ptsd? Is that even a thing?

If you haven't been diagnosed... Then it may not be PTSD. There are quite a few other disorders in the trauma & anxiety sphere. Whilst having CritA trauma is required, not everyone who has CritA trauma in their history will go on to develop PTSD.

That said, yep. There is definitely a spectrum as far as how severely a person is affected by their PTSD. Even the exact same person over time. In fact, that's the whole name of the game, lessening our symptoms strength & frequency (& managing stress). So 2 people can both have PTSD, and be affected at different levels from it, and as well, 1 person can fall at different places on the spectrum over time.

There's a wee bit of a 3rd element, as well: Some people, for whatever reason, are more affected by fewer/milder symptoms than others, or are less affected by more/stronger symptoms than others. SUDS (subjective units of distress scale) really takes care of that one.

<grin> It's one reason why we don't play either game on the site (who has the worse trauma, or who has the worse life... Lol... Talk about a game no one wants to win! But it's also completely pointless. If a person has PTSD, then they have PTSD.). Symptoms are symptoms and the need to be dealt with. Period. People are going to be all over the map as far as healing goes, and as far as symptom expression goes. I'm not saying the level of severity doesn't matter, it does very much from a treatment & quality of life standpoint. But a problem is still a problem.... Wherever one falls on the scale. There will always be those both better and worse. Just because either exists? Isn't a reason to not work on what is a problem.

 

[GracieLouHoo]

If you go in with the attitude of "they can't help me" then it will be a self fulfilling prophecy and they won't be able to help you.

Remember this.....there have been people who have experienced far worse symptoms and they've been able to heal. No, it's not a competition but it is fair to acknowledge a spectrum of severity of symptoms.

In short, you can indeed heal, but 90% of it is your attitude going into it. Those who succeed don't go in with the attitude that they can't be helped.

 

[PinCushionPrincess]

I agree with those who say there is probably a spectrum, like I think there is with all mental issues and disorders, hell even physical ones - I knew two guys who played for the same rugby team, both had similar leg breaks, one was back playing 10 weeks later, the other was out for a year. Their bodies healed at different rates and in different ways, and so do our minds. Also, the same mental illness can manifest differently from person to person - I think of myself, whose depressive episodes are categorised by moroseness and weeping, and my father's, by anger.
You won't know if you've got PTSD until you've been diagnosed by at least one professional who knows about such things. And wanting a diagnosis in order to understand yourself better is completely legitimate. You will have to acknowledge there has been some trauma, but I think you have already done this in your post above - you won't necessarily need to go into details, I know I didn't with the first psych who diagnosed me, just an acknowledgement that it happened.

You might choose to do nothing about it, even once you've got a diagnosis (if you were diagnosed). That's completely your prerogative. I do think though that the treatment you received for anxiety and depression before did not work because you were trying to treat the symptom not the cause - I am in the same boat as you as regards having to accept the therapist assigned, and I have recently started therapy, had about 4 sessions now. She is aware that there is trauma, and in two short sentences she can say what it is because I managed to get out about 4 words of explanation to the psychiatrist. I still cannot talk about it either, my throat closes up, I completely break down - but my T is aware of this. She knows what's happened and she knows the effect it has on me if brought up. So she is taking different tacks, talking about other things. We'll get there eventually I'm sure, and I dread that time but it isn't now, and by the time that time comes around things within myself will have changed, I'm sure (read: hope). Actually I'm definitely sure because I know we won't get there till I'm ready, and though I don't know when that will be I do know it won't happen until then, and that what we work on around it will lead to my being ready. What I'm trying to say there is that if you were clear that was something more along with the anxiety and depression, these trained professionals can tailor their help for you. But you do have to let them, and letting them know is the first step to that