Is This Actually Dissociation And Not Depression?

[mrsmegan]

I was reading an article from The Mighty - and it was a personal piece about PTSD and she talking about dissociation. She talked about it like emotionally checking out.

I get like that. I have a lot of thoughts, a lot of things that should be making me upset, but I just turn inward. I don't cry. Talking to people feels like moving mountains. Smiling feels fake as I don't really feel anything. I just want to sit. I want to be as distant as I feel. I want to disconnect from my life physically - as I am emotionally.

I always felt like this was depression, but now I am wondering if it is a form of dissociation? Or can it be both?

Sorry if this question is annoying....

 

[Arebas]

I was reading an article from The Mighty - and it was a personal piece about PTSD and she talking abou...

I'm no expert but, to me, this sounds more like depression than dissociation. When I dissociate, I get a sense of "ah, this is finally me, I was being something else before". I get that feeling when I realise I'm not feeling things but also when, after not feeling anything, I begin to feel again. Now that I am finally able to remember being in those two different states I am aware that I am a different "me" on both occasions. And a new me right now, being able to talk about it cause I'm not here nor there.

 

[Sideways]

What you've described could be both, one or the other, or something else like avoidance, but probably at various times it's a bit of both. That's because everyone dissociates in some form as a totally normal thing. Day-dreaming and driving on auto-pilot are the two examples people often give as normal everyday forms of dissociation that everyone experiences.

As you move higher up the dissociative spectrum, the way people experience dissociation starts to vary a lot. But the working theory seems to be that for people with a history of trauma, dissociating is one of the strategies that our brain has learned to use to handle overwhelming emotions (among other things). For me, that sometimes includes dissociating to manage my overwhelming depression...confused yet!?

Seperating the symptoms out from each other is something I find pretty hard. Because with complex trauma, it's common to experience depressive symptoms as part of your condition. Certainly when my depression gets worse, I have a tendency to emotionally shut down (or just shut down completely!). Memory becomes less helpful as an indicator with these 2, because depression so often effects our ability to remember things, so not remembering yesterday doesn't necessarily mean I was dissociated, I may be depessed...or both!

Personally, I've found journalling about the way I've "experienced" the day has been helpful, coz I can take it to my doc and we can nut out whether it's mood, dissociation, or something else. I persist with trying to identify what exactly is going on because it determines how I manage it.

And of course, people sharing here about how they experience depression and dissociation has also been really helpful to me.

 

[mrsmegan]

Thanks to you both - helpful perspectives. I will definitely bring it to my T.

 

[7Cs]

When I dissociate, I get a sense of "ah, this is finally me, I was being something else before". I get that feeling when I realise I'm not feeling things but also when, after not feeling anything, I begin to feel again. Now that I am finally able to remember being in those two different states I am aware that I am a different "me" on both occasions. And a new me right now, being able to talk about it cause I'm not here nor there.

:wideeyed:

My thoughts.... your words. How cool is that?
But you said it better than I could have. ;)

Can you also tell when you're not being you?

 

[whiteraven]

Yes, agree with Ragdoll Circus. Withdrawal in depression is quite common. Depression in dissociation is also common. Dissociation in trauma often go hand-in-hand. So, could be a bit of both. But, withdrawal and dissociation are two different things and it's good to be able to figure out the difference in yourself. I'm glad you are going to talk to your T about it! I do both, rather extensively. I hope you are able to get a handle on this.

 

[marblemaze]

Yes, agree with Ragdoll Circus. Withdrawal in depression is quite common....

Would you be willing to look at my post on withdrawal and tell me if you think this is dissociation or not? I would appreciate knowing your opinion because my symptoms don't match dissociation descriptions. Thanks if you can help/give your input/opinion. Here is the thread: Trying To Identify Psychological Term For "shutdowns."

 

[marblemaze]

^^ I think I may have solved this on my own and I wrote about it at the end of the thread mentioned above but if you have anything to add about it, please feel free to if you see this, thanks.

 

[micky]

what do you mean by " withdrawal ?

 

[marblemaze]

^^ see the above link to the other thread I mentioned for a description