Is What I Went Through Really Traumatic, Or Is It Just Me Being Overly-sensitive?

[Deleted member 1860]

You're dead set in your pro-pot stance and I wholeheartedly disagree. I have seen generations of the damage that addiction and substance use can cause. Why do you advocate polluting your body with substances that can and will damage your liver, lungs, etc when you can be drug free? The least amount of substances in our bodies, the better.

I don't put any stock in your argument because you're advocating drug use when it may not even be necessary. Key word is NECESSARY. That tells me that it's about more than just symptom relief. You've got an agenda. And really, in this universe, there are no absolutes unless you're talking things like the scientific law of whatever, so yes, of course, I'm sure that there are people out there who are somewhat better on pot, but MOST people who have a true addiction must break the cycle completely, especially when they've got other issues going on. That means no going back to recreational pill popping or social drinking as its a steep slippery slope.

If your way of healing is so much better, why haven't you started your own worldwide recovery program, as obviously we've all got it wrong with 12 step programs and substance abstinence. Sorry if I sound snarky, but really, your pro-substance stance will just give people false hope that they can do it "just a little" and heal.

 

[rightkindofme]

I don't think you should apologize for something you aren't sorry for.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I wasn't.

 

[The Albatross]

I challenge the premise that life must be sober or it isn't worth living.

If you are an addict or an alcoholic... to use is to set yourself on a pattern of more consequences, less choices, and either go to jail, overdose, die or do damage to your body past the point that it can recover. You can also destroy your family, your marriage, your children (if you have any), your ability to self actualize or problem solve, because harder drugs and booze both do a number on the brain. The brain can become conditioned to prefer drugs or booze... to the point of dehydration, malnutrition over anything else. The body essentially becomes a vehicle by which it gets and obtains it's drug of choice and in some people it can take over until it kills them.

I can personally assure you having been to the point of being severely malnourished and stopping eating or drinking anything except rot gut vodka to the point of almost killing myself, and having been bedside for the death of a coworker who was only 75 pounds and STILL wanted to drink that for some people sobriety is definitely preferable.

My best friend of 17 years became an addict and tried to kill herself 4 times. She is in recovery and so is her sister for drug addiction and who tried to suicide several times until she wound up in a mental institution. My friend's ex boyfriend is a vegetable for the rest of his life because he mixed pills with booze and he wasn't found in time to prevent brain damage. One of my recovery group members was addicted to both drugs and alcohol and tried to cut his head off with a machete during a hallucination.

If you are an addict or an alcoholic... a little can trip someone over to full blown compulsion in short order.

 

[Hashi]

I'm tired...so tired...and no one will validate me, or my trauma,

I've been reading this thread wondering what would change for you if you did get a diagnosis of PTSD. After the validation, what then for the rest of your life? You haven't talked about wanting to get appropriate treatment (for PTSD). You haven't said that the validation would help your recovery. You haven't said whether the therapists who wouldn't give you a straight answer helped you with anything (other than diagnosis) or whether you wanted them to. Unless I've missed something, you haven't said anything about recovery from what you're identifying as PTSD.

I've been puzzling over what you see a PTSD diagnosis giving you.

Then I saw:

I'm terrified of losing my place. I'm doing everything I can to keep it. I'm asking for validation from strangers, because I'm scared of losing the place, and if I have written word from strangers, they might listen. They won't listen to me, but they'll listen to strangers, because they are very conscious of how others view them...
They're coming this weekend. I need to prove to them by april, that I'm not a drug addict, or I lose my place.

I spend all my free time looking for cases, studies, trying to get people on my side, anything that I could use to defend my home to my parents.

I have not yet been diagnosed with ptsd, but I'm trying to get a diagnosis...
I know I have PTSD. I know enough about medicine, and I read enough medical literature, so I can prove and defend my case, on the day, where I have to fight to keep my roof over my head, because my parents found out I do drugs, and now they want to cut me off.

So you hope the validation would let you continue to take drugs and be supported by your parents at the same time? (I am not commenting on how easy or hard it is, or right or wrong, just wanting to establish the facts.)

I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt because you did write one tiny paragraph about going to trade school so you could get financially independent. I'm finding it hard. It was a very small paragraph and you have written a great deal more, with much more passion, about everything else.

I am not minimising the problems you're facing. Actually, I think you are. I don't think your way forward in the short term or the long term is to try to make your parents to keep supporting you. I think your way forward is to take responsibility for your life and for recovering from your psychological issues and anger at your parents. If you think being addicted (your words) is OK, or that it's easier (your word), then that's your opinion, but I don't think you are entitled to have people who don't agree with it keep funding you.

If that sounds harsh, please bear in mind that this is a forum where we're all dealing with psychological issues, or supporting people who are. For many of us that includes being ill-prepared for the world by our parents, being addicted and/or having problems with money, work and housing. We know how hard it is. If your post had been full of wanting to get independent, wanting to get your life on track, and wanting to recover from your past, I would be feeling a lot of sympathy for you.

I am finding it hard to feel sympathy if you are trying to get a PTSD diagnosis only to justify your anger at your parents and your "right" to continue to be supported by them in a way of living that they're opposed to. Their money = their rules, I think. There’s no magic way to stop drugs if you’re addicted, but 100% effort to try is always an option. I don't think the drugs are the point so much as your sense of entitlement to your anger and to being financially provided for.

We can't tell you (or your parents) whether you have PTSD. Only a qualified professional can do that. I hope for your sake that you don’t have it.

 

[rightkindofme]

Sorry if I sound snarky, but really, your pro-substance stance will just give people false hope that they can do it "just a little" and heal.

"Sorry" sounds like an apology to me. Only you don't mean it even slightly. You've decided that anyone who doesn't do things how they work for you is just wrong.

Well, good luck with that.

 

[nursenurse]

Just my two cents because I work in drug addled communities. With very few exceptions, most of those with drug problems that I see started with something like pot. Studies are only as good as the honesty behind the people studied. It may not be a gateway, but it makes it easier to try something else, my patients have admitted that.

I agree with Scared of Lonely, those with an addiction have to stop all substance abuse period. And of course, the Albatross, who in my mind is one of the best voices of reason anywhere on these forums. She said "if you are an addict or an alcoholic, a little can trip someone over to full blown compulsion in short order."

 

[The Albatross]

I am not the stop all end all voice of reason... I just have a lot of experiences that I share. But thank you for the compliment.

 

[quaintpapercut]

I challenge the premise that life must be sober or it isn't worth living.

I see this as meaning that all life has meaning and I agree with it. I'm not saying that drugs or alcohol can't do the things that you mention and yes its a horrible way to live. But I have worked with people with severe mental illness and addictions issues who simply are who they are going to be. The cumulation of years of some form of abuse eventually to staggering to overcome in a society that does not place a lot value into "those" types of people. Those types of people meaning the drug addicts, the homeless etc... For some really tough populations the only way to introduce a better way of living is through harm reduction and that means still working with them regardless of their addictions. I've worked with a lot of addicts, and there's still a strong humanity that exists behind the disease. Everybody does have different journeys.

 

[quaintpapercut]

I see it differently. Its not so much about the drug use as more as its about just getting some form of validation from your parents. You are practically screaming at your parents to notice you. I haven't read a lot of the replies and I also have to admit that I think I'm projecting a bit. I have a teenage son and I can't help but react in a way that I would as a mother. I would never, ever do that to my son or treat him that way.

Also, your family dynamic kind of reminds me of mine. It seems like your family is more concerned with appearances than actually helping you.

 

[quaintpapercut]

Sorry...I'm responding as I'm reading through the replies but it just makes me look nuts :rolleyes:

 

[The Albatross]

For the record, the quote was Right Kind Of Me's, not mine. But I understand what you are saying about harm reduction. It is stop gap measure to me (my own opinion) and surely a drug or alcohol free life would be better in the longer term. For the mind and body.