I don't think it's particularly helpful to tell an addict that they can heal without becoming sober.
I'm having a hard time formulating a response that doesn't sound flip.
Your path through the world is not the only path. People have all kinds of journeys. Just because what I have said is not something that would be useful for you does not mean you get to decide what is or is not appropriate or helpful for other people.
You may not know people who have dealt with symptoms and issues without becoming sober. That says more about your set of life experiences than it does about the possibility of it happening. I've been pretty active in the Harm Reduction community. I know a lot of people who have made subtle course corrections and continued on with a life that made them happy that included using.
It may not be a life that works for you but you don't have to live it. If they are content with their life I do not feel it is my place to decide if it is appropriate or not.
I'm never sure what people mean when they say "it isn't possible to heal without becoming sober". Well, what do you mean when you say "heal"? I am happier, have fewer intrusive symptoms, and overall my life is just in a fabulously better place than it was. I don't use hard drugs any more because I'm a stay at home mom and I think it would be neglectful to be incapacitated while caring for children. I still use pot (with a doctors scrip). I'm not "sober". I drink alcohol. I drink something like 3-6 drinks a month. It's not exactly a big problem in my life.
According to you that means it is impossible for me to deal with my issues. I'll say flat out that you are wrong. Every person who has known me over the past decade has watched a dramatic shift in my anger outburts, in inappropriate public behavior, in violence, in promiscuity (actually most of them are sad I won't f*ck them any more), and I have saved an obscene amount of money. Am I symptom free? No. But I doubt I ever will be. My abuse started very early and was very intense.
I have the body I have. I have had the life experiences I have had. It has been
incredibly helpful to my personal journey to talk with people who have dealt with various chemical dependency issues. They have told me that I *can* make progress. They have been right.
I appreciate that you are sharing your experience. I'm having a hard time with being told that it isn't helpful for people to know that I exist and it is possible to do something like what I have done and what my friends have done. I know hard core alcoholics who are very functional people. Do they drink waaaaaay more than me (or is good for their liver)? Yes. But what is wrong with that? I know people who are far more checked out through being obsessed with sports.
In my experience it isn't helpful to tell someone "You can't ever be successful at learning new skills until you completely abandon everything you have done that has gotten you here because it is all BAD." Is it going to be harder to change while still using? Of course. But very little is actually impossible if you want it.
That's been my experience of the world.
Also: I am advocating keep *pot*. Not the rest of it. In particular meth is bad m'kay? That sh!t rots your brain. I also don't think that everyone must go cold turkey. I know a lot of people who do a lot of work on their life while fully using so that they notice that after a while they just don't want the other drugs any more. This person mentioned a successful history with pot to handle anxiety. He has detailed a long history with problems with other psych meds.
That may not have been totally clear.
