Is writing here selfish? Feeling like I'm losing the plot again.

[Finchlet2]

I feel like I am losing the plot again. Chaos everywhere. Tired of being emotionally stoned to death. Nowhere else I'd rather be. Shut in the dark. Can't deal with any light right now. Losing my first and only home to. My heart is exhausted like it might just pack up. I truly did everything right this time. Why the f*ck? I resolve to try and see a gp today. Have been to busy to see a doc for a while now. Day off work to deal with imminent eviction crap. Heart pain, indigestion and the shits.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hey @Finchlet2 - sounds like a bad place you are in right now. How can you hold the line and get back on track?

Do you have a plan?

 

[ladee]

It's not selfish, it's very self caring letting others know how hard things are right now. Coming here, lets us say what is going on and have others encourage and be present for us, we already feel so alone in the world.

I have been where you are, doing all the right things for the right reasons, and bad things happened anyway. I still suffered loss, exhaustion, confusion, and a lot of self doubt.

I wasn't here at the time, but did have people who cared and helped by letting me know it wasn't because I had failed in my life, it was just LIFE.

But because of our history, we don't process things in a way that we cut our self much slack and accept that things happen that have spun out of control.

Very glad you shared today. We are not physically with you, but you are not alone. And loosing our home is hard, and terrifying, and causes us to be 'untethered'.

You keep doing all the right things, it will get you thru this. Not without bumps and bruises, tears and fears, but you will find a way. I'm sorry things are so hard for you. I really am. I know what this feels like, but going to your GP is a great start to picking up the pieces. You still know what to do.

I hope you come here and talk about what is going on, how you are feeling and letting us help you if we can. You are not alone. Tho it may still feel that way. Sending tender hugs of support to you today, and all the days you need them. :hug:'s

 

[Finchlet2]

Thank you both for your time. Trying to get our deposit back today. My eyes swelled shut and I dissociated all afternoon yesterday. Row with loved one. Anyone else get the eyes ting? Getting my heart checked out and going back to therapy whilst sorting this housing ting is the plan. I've got a lot going on with my boy next week to so really digging deep for strength right now. This helps, you guys are so appreciated.

Rrrahhh! Still can't get a gp appointment, phone call appointment today at least but heart tremmer and skin reactions? Well easy to assess over the phone them.

 

[blackemerald1]

Getting my heart checked out and going back to therapy whilst sorting this housing ting is the plan.

^^Good plan. Healthy body, healthy mind and stable place to live. Well done!

I'm sorry it's all really hard right now.

Remember most of us have been in similar situations so we get it. :hug:

 

[TTC18]

My eyes swell shut when I cry too much, or for allergic reaction. Any chance you're allergic to something in your environment?

I think our society focuses too much on being unselfish, and loses the idea that - hey, it's good to take care of yourself.' We're all encouraged to be selfless to the point where we're actually being harmful to ourselves, which isn't really helpful to anyone.

Take care of yourself, I hope you have a great day. :)

 

[somerandomguy]

Here's a great article by the great Pete Walker about feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe it will help a little?
Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

 

[Still Standing]

Twice we have lost our home through the years. The first time was when our kids were little. We were scammed by a realtor. He took our money and ran off and we were left with no home. The second house was lost by cascading circumstances; hubby started a new business then got very ill. Money stopped coming in so we had to foreclose on our retirement home. Both were very scary situations because we did not know where we were going to able to live, afterward. It was very humbling, but friends and family gave us money to live on and they helped us get into another home. So, I understand the angst and uncertainties of what the future holds. And to add illness and stress to the situation, it does affect one's health. My heart goes out to you. Things will get better...it will just take a little time. If you have walk-in clinics in your area, maybe that would be another option for you to get some medical care. Ice on the eyes will help. And if allergy or infection, try putting hot tea bags on your eyes. They work as mini compresses and bring the swelling down. I am sorry you have to walk through some tough times right now. You can do this, you really can. We are all here to listen and help encourage you as you deal with this challenge in your life.

 

[blackemerald1]

That was an interesting article and I think quite a true perspective @somerandomguy - thanks for the link. :)