Hi everyone,
My name is Paige, I hope you’re all good.
I’m not particularly sure what I’m supposed to type here. I’m going to try my best & give this a go though. I’ve struggled with PTSD since I was kid. My PTSD comes from an extremely difficult, traumatic, abusive childhood. I’m 31 now. I just can’t seem to get a handle of my illness. 1 day everything is amazing, the next day… I feel like I’m not even apart of my own body or if I do like my mind plays sick tricks on me, thoughts that just don’t stop, I’m constantly on alert. Paranoid & at times unbearable for others to be around. I struggle most days it’ll be like a 3 or 4 good days out of a month. I just feel like I can’t cope. You know, the 1 step forward 2 steps backwards type deal. It feels like I can never make the right amount of steps to make it even, I feel so unbalanced, misunderstood and alone. I have zero trust in other people and because of that… I isolate myself to feel safe. But even then it’s like a double edged sword because I want so badly to be able to let people in. To have a normal life (whatever normal is.) Yet when it comes down to having someone in my life I subconsciously seem to push them away. I’ll leave this here for now. Thank you for reading this. I’m sorry if it’s a bit long or not the right thing I’m supposed to say. Don’t wanna overload anyone. Anyway. Thanks again. - Paige
