Sufferer Isolating and struggling to cope


Hi everyone,
My name is Paige, I hope you’re all good.
I’m not particularly sure what I’m supposed to type here. I’m going to try my best & give this a go though. I’ve struggled with PTSD since I was kid. My PTSD comes from an extremely difficult, traumatic, abusive childhood. I’m 31 now. I just can’t seem to get a handle of my illness. 1 day everything is amazing, the next day… I feel like I’m not even apart of my own body or if I do like my mind plays sick tricks on me, thoughts that just don’t stop, I’m constantly on alert. Paranoid & at times unbearable for others to be around. I struggle most days it’ll be like a 3 or 4 good days out of a month. I just feel like I can’t cope. You know, the 1 step forward 2 steps backwards type deal. It feels like I can never make the right amount of steps to make it even, I feel so unbalanced, misunderstood and alone. I have zero trust in other people and because of that… I isolate myself to feel safe. But even then it’s like a double edged sword because I want so badly to be able to let people in. To have a normal life (whatever normal is.) Yet when it comes down to having someone in my life I subconsciously seem to push them away. I’ll leave this here for now. Thank you for reading this. I’m sorry if it’s a bit long or not the right thing I’m supposed to say. Don’t wanna overload anyone. Anyway. Thanks again. - Paige
I can relate. I'd say l have good moments and bad moments, not days. For me that is. I feel we have to appreciate the good when it comes because there is enough bad in the world already. It's been hard for me to find people that or even trust worthy. I try to focus more on the good things and people on my life. That may help you some too.