Isolation.. no thanks

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi... I've recently lost friends... A few due to how they treated me.. Taking the piss.... Nasty drunks..... So I made the choice to not have them in my life. Sensible decision right...

Well now I don't really have anybody and it sucks... I go out, exercise, take care of myself... Like today I was having a coffee.. And my pencil broke. I didn't have a sharpener..so I asked a lady who was sitting across from me.. No she didn't. But a couple of minutes later she gave me a pencil... How nice is that..... But you can't just say do want to be my friend?... Right

I am due to start some volunteering work soon... Working with kids from bad homes.. And I know that will be good for me.

Im self employed so no work mates.. I'm just finding it hard.... Friends have really let me down.. And one really hurt me... But I don't believe that people are bad... Just sometimes assholes.

 

[LanaD]

I posted about something similar. I guess it takes a little time between ditching friends we realize aren't really friends or good for us for whatever reason, and making new friends. I'd suggest engaging in activities where you could meet people your own age with similar interests.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Friends have really let me down..

I have found, for myself, that as I started off in my therapy process, I was surrounded by unhealthy people and went through a few times of cleaning out the friends, I had outgrown along the way.

I am still growing and learning but the circle of friends and neighbors that I do have are so much healthier nowadays so please be encouraged that although it does take time to develop newer friendships, you will start attracting a better, group of friends.

I think your plans to volunteer are good ones and that you will also meet other like minded adults. Just remember that it does take time so I hope that you do a lot of self nurturing and self care as you find your way in the new paths you are beginning to forge.

I always enjoy reading you @Xena and I think you will come out of this just fine but please allow some time to grieve the loss of what you knew before you grew into the healthier you.:hug:

 

[nowthisisme]

I'm in the same boat as you. After my diagnosis I let go of a lot of friends and family members, It was hard for me since i barely had any friends in the first place b2ut i knew that keeping them in my life while trying to heal would effect me negatively. I'm also self employed so i am very limited with the people i interact with. I have a few good friends that are out of state but long distance isnt the same as having someone close by. I haven't found a way to meet new people yet, i miss having friends and someone just to hang out with. But i dont think i am ready to make new friends yet, i have a lot to process and introducing new people into myself might have a negative impact on me. I did signup at the gym and meet some workout "friends", it feels nice to be around them but working out is the extent of our relationship.
I am looking forward to when i am ready to make new friends and i worry about how i can do that but for now I'm taking in easy and learning how to become my own friend. Self care and love is my priority for now.
So take it easy on yourself, you can and will make new friends, it's never to late but make sure you have the foundation to build a healthy friendship that won't harm you.

Good luck! And don't forget you always have us here​

 

[Akhos]

:hug: @Xena

I have always had friends as either "fair weather" or "all weather" friends. All weather friends are made, from years of trust and just supporting one another. Fair weather friends are those type of people who are happy to be in your life when all is rosy and fluffy but leave whenever things get real whereas "all weather" friends are those people who are with you as the fair weather ones, but when life gets real, they pull you closer, keep you there and guide you through whatever it is that you are going through. These types of friends also have the right to be completely and utterly honest with you on any topic, and there are no hidden agendas. I have very few fair weather friends, as I dont have the energy to waste time on them. I am lucky enough to have a few all weather friends, scattered, now, all over the globe and they are absolutely priceless to me, as I am to them.

Dont need many friends, just a couple of really good ones and they take a long time to create - those kinds of friendships.

Be kind to yourself @Xena , its a tough process we are going through and you will come right in the end. Keep being true to yourself and the friend you need will appear

 

[Deleted member 44579]

I have found, for myself, that as I started off in my therapy process, I was surrounded by unhealthy peopl...

Awe..... Very sweet and kind.... You're right... It does take time, I am grateful for your words and wisdom rain.... I like your posts too...

I'm in the same boat as you. After my diagnosis I let go of a lot of friends and family members, It...

Thankyou very kind and wise words... In many ways you guys help me greatly..... And I do appreciate that..... Thankyou..

I posted about something similar. I guess it takes a little time between ditching friends we realize aren...

Thankyou good ideas...

I am very grateful for you guys.... You listen... Don't judge and offer support, wisdom, advice..... So in many many ways.... Ideal friends...... Thankyou... Xxx

I'm in the same boat as you. After my diagnosis I let go of a lot of friends and family members, It...

Thankyou very wise words.....time right..
At least I know what kind of friends I don't want... As you say fair weather friends... Not worth it... Thankyou...